• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Anal Toys

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Doc Johnson TruSkyn line: Tru Butt Plug Smooth, Tru Ride, Tru Feel, Tru Curve sitting on a black platter on top of a bed.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Doc Johnson TruSkyn

December 10, 2017
I should start with an apology, because when this line of sex toys came out, I mocked it. “Hahahahaha Doc...
Keep Reading
Hole Punch Toys Ass Cram Cone, Plugs Bunny, and Crotch Rocket standing on a wood pile in front of a pale blue house.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Hole Punch Toys

April 9, 2016
There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Boosty butt plug on a striped black and white fabric.
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Boosty

March 5, 2016
When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of...
Keep Reading
Marc Dorcel Geisha Plug and Fun Factory B Balls kegel ball anal plugs on a moss-covered brick, among leaves.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementAnal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

July 28, 2015
I can’t prove it — unless Google Talk instant message logs count as evidence — but I had this idea...
Keep Reading
We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection
Anal ToysGreatest HitsHi, I love youKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

December 20, 2014
I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a...
Keep Reading
njoy Pure Plugs (medium and large) in a jewelry box with a bunch of gaudy bracelets and rings.
Anal ToysGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pure Plugs

September 26, 2012
I could’ve written a review for the njoy Pure Plugs before ever putting a single one in my ass. Of...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Severin

January 23, 2012
I don’t know how to say this in a way that is pleasant, but that’s okay — I’ve never really...
Keep Reading
Oh hai, I AM ORANGE. The Tantus Ryder on a wooden floor.
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Ryder

July 26, 2011
There is nothing wrong with the Tantus Ryder. This is a butt plug that means business. It does its job...
Keep Reading
NobEssence Romp anal plug, lying on a craggy rock in the great outdoors.
Anal ToysGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Romp

March 29, 2011
I am unabashed about my love for the NobEssence Romp. I can’t help it if it’s the best butt plug...
Keep Reading
Nexus G-Rider vibrating butt plug
Anal ToysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: G-Rider

December 16, 2010
I’m just going to have to admit defeat with this one. The Nexus G-Rider is too much for my butt....
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pfun

March 27, 2010
As my first stainless steel butt plug, it’s kinda funny that the njoy Pfun is meant, well, for the prostate...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Flexi Felix silicone anal beads
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Flexi Felix

March 21, 2010
I’ve been reviewing sex toys for over two years now, so it’s high time I tried some mothafuggin’ anal beads....
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Luna

August 26, 2009
The first thing you should know about the Jollies / LuzArte Luna is that it is large: 6″ long and...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Alumina Pace

July 3, 2009
After my disappointing experience with California Exotic’s aluminum butt plugs, Metis Black (president of Tantus) offered to send me Tantus’s...
Keep Reading
NobEssence Romp on a concrete surface.
Anal ToysHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Romp

June 30, 2009
Accustomed as I am to receiving beautiful and high-quality sex toys in the mail, I usually do not feel my...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″

June 9, 2009
There are two surprising things about California Exotic’s Aluminum Mini butt plugs. First, uh, they’re made of aluminum, and since...
Keep Reading
1 2

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Nasstoys' Masturbating Glove. It is fingerless, cream-colored, and COVERED IN SPIKES.

Um, No: Masturbating Glove (and everything else Nasstoys makes)

A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.

Review: Ida

Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.

Review: Tiny Dildos

Blog sponsors

Your ad here footer

Tescort.com  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Best Sex Dolls  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Idolsdoll.com  ·  sexy toy factory  ·  Wholesale Silicone Sex Toys & Custom Sex Dolls

Hey Epiphora logo
  • About
  • Contact
  • Advertise with me
  • Consulting
  • Sex Blogging Course
  • Accessibility & Privacy
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Accessibility & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts 📝
    • Reviews
    • Guides
    • Banter
  • New here? 🧐
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • All-time fave toys ✨
  • Toybox 🍆
  • Sales + fave retailers 💸
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ 🔎
  • About 🌈
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact 💌
    • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Random 🌀
Subscribe & support 💌
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 18,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish.

Score!

You're all signed up to receive updates on my vaginal hijinks. 💌 Thanks, friend!

Dildos in your inbox.