[Content note: incest, menstrual blood, consensual non-consent.] April 2014 Sit down, friends. I would like to talk to you about incest. I’ve slyly alluded to it before, but this month marks the discovery of something glorious: New Sensations’ “Tabu Tales” series. Directed most of the time by the fantastic and nuanced Jacky St. James, this series is everything I never knew I wanted, and I LOVE IT. My obsession began with Incestuous, in a scene featuring cheerleader Riley Reid and her “stepfather” Alec Knight. Riley is a boss at playing down her age (she even moans “oh gosh”), and Alec, well… he’s the ultimate creep. I seem to be developing a thing for creepers. Don’t tell any dudes on the internet. Please. I may or may not have quickly . . . read more

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] May 17th, 2013 The boyfriend went to the convenience store for beer, and Survivor was downloading at a snails’ pace, so I whipped out my Mona 2 and had the quickest orgasm before he returned. Incredibly, the toy died literal seconds after my orgasm wore off. Fate? Summer 2013 Can I just take a moment to tell you about porn I’ve seen recently that was glorious and/or weird? Because holy shit, Belladonna Sexual Explorer. I’ve realized that I always love watching Sinn Sage. She was great in Strapped Dykes, she was great in No Warning 7, she was great in Sinn Sage Loves Girls, she’s great in this, and every time . . . read more

This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body is smokin’, her tattoos are fabulous, and I definitely know why she got her own porno: she’s a powerhouse. She gives her scenes everything she’s got. She does not let up. She never looks bored. And — especially important for this series — she knows what she wants. Directed by Tristan Taormino, Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind comes on the heels of Rough Sex and Rough Sex 2, movies that revolve around female performers’ desires. Rough Sex and Rough Sex 2 each had a couple epic (read: up to my very high standards) scenes. Rough Sex 3 has just one epic scene, . . . read more

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] Tristan Taormino does incredibly important work with her Expert Guide series of porn movies. So many “how-to” movies are yawn-inducing, but Tristan realizes that she must mix education with super-smokin’-hot sex. Sure, if you’re looking for an in-depth run-down of how to achieve orgasm, you’d be better off reading a book, but The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms does what a book can’t: it proves Tristan’s point — that orgasms come in many shapes and sizes — with moving images. Tristan’s 34-minute educational workshop is as helpful and non-judgmental as always. She discusses the phases of female sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm (“Women may make strange faces . . . read more

July 1st, 2010 I have learned a lesson about lube bottles. Before use, always cautiously test to make sure the nozzle is not plugged up. Today, attempting to lube up a toy, my lube split-streamed on me and sprayed itself on my shirt. Classy. July 6th, 2010 Having watched a lot of porn in a wave of deleting, I decided to jack off to a scene from The Pinch featuring Evan Stone and Sunny Lane. It wasn’t as good as their scene in Pussy a Go Go, but there was THIS POSITION… …which made me say, “creative porn performers FOR THE WIN.” Because seriously, the world would be a bleak place without performers (and directors) who actually try to make . . . read more

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] Bartenders is the newest, yet-to-be-released feature porno from Burning Angel. Now, it takes serious hilarity to make me laugh aloud at something on the internet, and this trailer managed to do it — three times. Even my boyfriend laughed when he watched it, and he doesn’t like porn! Best moments of this trailer: 0:58 — Some dude slapping another dude’s tattooed ass to urge him to jack off elsewhere. Totally random, and obviously amazing. 1:08 — James Deen showing his high-tech I.D. card. Swoon. 1:21 — The introduction of Evan Stone into the storyline. Oh my gawd. 1:33 — “Can I show you our gender-neutral bathroom? . . . read more

I’m not big on blowjobs in porn. I don’t hate them, but I’ll usually only watch a couple minutes of a blowjob, then fast-forward to whatever’s next. Thus, I wasn’t as excited for Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio as I was for, say, Rough Sex. And while Advanced Fellatio isn’t typical-porn-blowjob boring, it’s very much a niche movie. You need to love watching blowjobs to thoroughly enjoy it. Advanced Fellatio begins with a 50-minute workshop. The anatomy section is actually pleasurable to watch, as snippets from pornstars are interspersed throughout Tristan’s lesson. Also, this probably shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it did: “the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut. But it shouldn’t feel like . . . read more

I don’t even really know the plot of Alice in Wonderland, and yet Erica McLean and Carlos Batts’s upcoming porno Alice is making me, um, very excited. I’ve known about Alice since December, and will periodically watch the trailer and get myself amped up all over again. It’s one of the most badass porn trailers ever made. Go watch it. I mean, seriously — Evan Stone as the Mad Hatter (obvs!), Sunny Lane as Alice (aw!), April Flores as the Queen of Hearts (genius!)… and a bunch of other hotties that I enjoy watching quite a bit. I know Erica McLean is capable of awesome things — just look at the costuming in Hardcore Circus and you’ll see. Judging by the . . . read more

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] November 17th, 2009 I watched a threesome scene in The King of Coochie 4, with Sasha Grey, Sunny Lane, and Tom Byron. Sasha and Sunny were great, but wow, Tom is a creeper and a half. Things that I am entirely certain need to be outlawed in porn (all of which were present in this scene): fake eyelashes, shitty pleather couches, dudes with goatees, dudes with pot bellies, dudes who grunt like cavemen, and this face: My orgasm came out of nowhere, before I could even click up to level 3 on the Eroscillator. I think I get off on creepy guys being turned on by two . . . read more