Joanna Angel

Jack-off Journal #20

Jack-off Journal #20

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more

Jack-off Journal #12

Jack-off Journal #12

October 1st, 2010 WHY WHY WHY WHY: WHY WHY WHY WHY. November 13th, 2010 I took a break from playing Plants vs. Zombies… …to watch a new Burning Angel porno, Doppelganger. The first scene was set in a DILDO FACTORY. I promptly skipped it, though, because solo scenes are boooring. I found myself at Jiz Lee and Joanna Angel’s scene, which begins with them trying to pitch the idea of the new Joanna Angel sex doll to a bunch of corporate dudes. The dudes aren’t paying attention, so Jiz asks, “don’t you guys find this the least bit exciting?” Some dude replies, “um, not as exciting as… HAPPY HOUR AT MOTHERFUCKIN’ APPLEBEE’S!” Then all the dudes get up and leave the . . . read more

Jack-off Journal #11

Jack-off Journal #11

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] August 5th, 2010 Today I watched Justine Joli: Lost with Saraid, which I had been eagerly anticipating. Very quickly realized it was a mistake to have anticipated it. Despite some awesome pairings, the camera angles consistently lacked close-up genital shots (which Saraid and I live for), plus the scenery was terrible and the between-scenes stuff was amazingly bad. I would not have survived without our conversation. Epiphora: this is so dramatic. is this a sitcom? hello houses Saraid: I feel like bob saget should pop up Epiphora: bob saget loves sasha grey Scene one: Justine Joli and Claire Adams. Now, I believe that rose petals can be used . . . read more

Hell Yes: <i>Bartenders</i>

Hell Yes: Bartenders

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] Bartenders is the newest, yet-to-be-released feature porno from Burning Angel. Now, it takes serious hilarity to make me laugh aloud at something on the internet, and this trailer managed to do it — three times. Even my boyfriend laughed when he watched it, and he doesn’t like porn! Best moments of this trailer: 0:58 — Some dude slapping another dude’s tattooed ass to urge him to jack off elsewhere. Totally random, and obviously amazing. 1:08 — James Deen showing his high-tech I.D. card. Swoon. 1:21 — The introduction of Evan Stone into the storyline. Oh my gawd. 1:33 — “Can I show you our gender-neutral bathroom? . . . read more

Um, No: Joanna Angel's whip vibe

Um, No: Joanna Angel’s whip vibe

OH GOD, NO. DON’T COME ANY CLOSER WITH THAT THING. I KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT FEELS LIKE. I DON’T NEED THE SAME SPIKES TIMES A THOUSAND PLUS VIBRATION. A whip and an incognito vibe covered in silicone ticklers SPIKES 5.5 insertable inches (14 cm) of silicone-covered, vibrating bliss HELL Silicone ticklers are soft TERRIBLE against skin and ultra hygienic WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A BURNING SENSATION I showed this abomination to a friend, who promptly replied, “whoever thought that was a good idea needs to be euthanized.” This was right before we realized that that person was JOANNA ANGEL, who — I’m pretty sure — has a vagina. And a brain. I don’t even understand.

Review: Girls Girls Girls II

Review: Girls Girls Girls II

Girls Girls Girls II is an ’80s-inspired porno directed by the fabulous Joanna Angel. There is no plotline, just discrete scenes, and luckily, it doesn’t take the ’80s theme too far. Actually, Kimberly Kane’s crimped hair and Sasha Grey’s iridescent spandex are pretty damn hot. Penny Flame’s scene with Allister and Cadence St. John is, by far, the best on the disc. Penny jaunts back and forth between two rooms, licking Cadence’s pussy, then Allister’s. Nothing else goes on. Just pussy licking (well, there’s a smidgen of a plot, but whatever). Allister and Cadence don’t reciprocate — Penny just ravages them, and it’s mesmerizingly hot. Penny has some serious skills. The other stand-out scene is, unsurprisingly, the one between Sasha Grey . . . read more

Review: The New Romantix

Review: The New Romantix

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] The New Romantix is one of the most frustrating porn films I’ve ever seen. From the description of it, I thought I’d love it. It features some performers I really love — James Deen, Lexi Belle, Joanna Angel — and is endorsed by one of the best sex shops around, Babeland. The back of the DVD case explains that The New Romantix “profiles 6 beautiful, intelligent, funny, and amazing women on their passionate quest for sexual liberation and empowerment.” Great! Empowerment! I’m all for it! But holy shit. One by one, the scenes are ruined. Not by lack of ability in the performers, but by music. . . . read more

Politics 'n' pornstars

Politics ‘n’ pornstars

I’m normally not big on politics, but this election year has been very exciting to follow. The debates, especially, have been great events to watch and eat pizza during. Today, however, I came across something I never wanted to know existed: a Barack Obama dildo. There are just so many things wrong with it… first of all, it’s a horrendous “golden” color. It’s 2 inches in diameter (my vagina hurts just thinking about it). And, oh yeah, it looks nothing like Barack Obama. Do they actually think people will be attracted to this thing? The real Barack Obama is far more attractive. Rest assured, however, that it is phthalate free! I’ve also been wondering how sales have been going for . . . read more

Review: Cum On My Tattoo

Review: Cum On My Tattoo

Cum On My Tattoo has the base formula for what I find hot: sexy alternative girls with tattoos and real bodies. This, at least, is more than mainstream porn usually offers me. But the hotness of the girls isn’t all that matters in porn… To begin with, the DVD case is astoundingly attractive. On the cover, Joanna Angel and Kylee Kross pose amidst a sea of tattoo drawings. The back is the usual collage of hardcore photos and laughable guarantees such as “cream filled tattoos!” However, the tattoo images and tasteful curly font continue onto the back, giving the art cohesion. The inside of the case is a mosaic of photographs of the girls’ tattoos, and the DVD itself looks . . . read more

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