May 012015
 

Joyful Pleasure glass dildos: Joyful Princess, Midnight Joy, Orgasmic Key Pleasure, Joyful Blue SwirlThese glass dildos from Joyful Pleasure presented me with a few obstacles. See, I have this thing with insertable objects where I feel frustrated if I can’t conquer them. Whether it’s sheer size, extreme heftrepetitive bloops, every imaginable electrostim setting, or simply a bulge just out of reach, I feel the uncontrollable urge to experience all that a toy has to offer.

Combine this with the fact that I’m a texture slut, and you have a recipe for vaginal disaster. When presented with the opportunity to review dildos from Joyful Pleasure, I of course ignored anything smooth and went straight for dildos with bumps, swirls, bloops, and, unbeknownst to me, challenging lengths.

A large part of my reason for trying these dildos was price: they’re all under $45. If your pockets aren’t deep enough to buy something handmade from Crystal Delights or Fucking Sculptures, a cheaper glass toy is a good option. The low cost means they’re mass-produced, so inexpensive glass toys in general can be imperfect and less durable, and none of them come with any type of storage. But they should be body-safe, with the exception of any toy with paint or a decal on it.

Many manufacturers make inexpensive glass dildos, the more well-known being Pipedream (barf), Spartacus, and Gläs — but I liked the creativity in the shapes from Joyful Pleasure.

Midnight Joy ($38)

Joyful Pleasure Midnight Joy glass dildoAlthough it’s not the prettiest, the Midnight Joy (or Twistful Pleasure) is the best all-around toy in the batch. It’s a solid dildo with a lot to offer. If these dildos were applying for a job in my vagina, the Midnight Joy would be hired.

The end with the little bumps on the shaft is rad — it has enough texture to satisfy my vaginal walls, plus it’s equipped with a pronounced head. All the things I like! Yet even that sensation was rivaled when I turned the toy upside down, because the slight downward curve of the shaft became an upward one, and my G-spot was like “HELL YES. YES. YES.” It was absurdly good. I definitely squirted.

This would be a good introductory glass dildo for a texture-curious person. Plus, if you happen to hate the bumps, you can flip the Midnight Joy around and get a similar experience minus texture. So there are three unique experiences to be had with this one. It’s a dildo for all seasons!

(Don’t like the color? Extremely similar dildos include the Twistful Pleasure and Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy.)

Joyful Princess ($44)

Joyful Pleasure Joyful Princess glass dildoI feel like someone without a cervix designed this.1 Why is the tip so pointy? Why are the bulbs spaced out just enough so as to present difficulty experiencing them? Why is the overall toy so large and long (1.75″ in diameter, 9.25″ long)? These are the questions that preoccupy me.

I close around the pointy tip of the shaft easily, and it feels alright, but after that I feel like theme music plays and my vagina is in a competition. Time is running out. I must conquer the bulbs. More bulbs. Always bulbs. I can think of nothing else. The popping sensation, the thrill when I succeed is great. But it’s not easy — in fact, it’s distracting and leads to me completely tuning out the porn I’m watching. Rude.

Flipping it around isn’t any better. The spacing of the bulbs means texture or girth always sits awkwardly at my vaginal opening.

My notes on the Joyful Princess indicate that at some point, inserting it pointy side first, I was able to ingest the second to last bulb. I was using the toy as my closer, twirling it like a mofo, exerting my pent-up frustration over the masturbation session as a whole. But really? That bulb? I almost don’t believe. Maybe I meant the one before it. Maybe I was incorrect. Or maybe my vagina was particularly hungry that night.

Joyful Blue Swirl ($38)

Joyful Pleasure Joyful Blue Swirl glass dildoEach side of the Joyful Blue Swirl feels pleasant. The swirled end feels sort of mesmerizing and calming, reminiscent of the tactile pleasure I get from running my feet over the tiles in a swimming pool. But it’s too narrow and lacks adequate G-spot stimulation. I prefer the swirls and accompanying G-spotting head of the Icicles No. 53.

The other end feels nice, too. My G-spot is a fan of the super bumpy head, and my vagina was relieved to find that the subsequent bloops feel effortless rather than challenging. This is the kind of spacing that makes sense  — by which I mean, minimal.

But this dildo is SO LONG. Fucking 11.25 inches! It’s like a scepter, like something I should be using to cast spells. It’s my second favorite when it comes to sensation, but the length and relative straight form make it difficult to maneuver and manipulate.

Orgasmic Key Pleasure ($37)

Joyful Pleasure Orgasmic Key Pleasure glass dildoWith all the texture and bulbs on this toy, I expected the Orgasmic Key Pleasure to be a kaleidoscope of sensations. It is not. It’s just too straight and uniform. Spinning it doesn’t alter the sensation much, and thrusting is difficult, so I end up just clenching around it. The little red embedded bumps are so buried that my vagina doesn’t even register them.

And again with the unfortunate spacing of the bulbs. If not properly warmed up, as with the Joyful Princess, this toy can feel like an arduous process of conquering each one. Also, what even is that nub at the tip? It’s weird and looks like it’s trying to take my temperature or something.

The looped handle is the most successful part of this toy, but it can feel like shoving a pacifier in my vagina.

 ———

Final verdict? I loved the Midnight Joy, but found the Joyful Princess distracting, the Joyful Blue Swirl pleasant but logistically difficult to use, and the Orgasmic Key Pleasure bland.

I’m getting a better sense of my tastes with glass dildos: I like unpredictable textures like those on the Ash Girl, peculiar shapes like the Crystal Twist, and repetitive bumps, like those found on the Star Delight and Rainbow Mega Nubby. I would not have been able to predict how much I enjoyed the Midnight Joy, though, so I’m glad I gave it a shot.

Things I don’t like with glass toys, or any toys, include: uninspired sensations, cumbersome lengths, and feeling like my vagina has unwittingly entered a ’90s Nickelodeon game show. (I don’t know why I always gravitate toward that comparison, but I do.) Vaginal challenges are fine when entered into consensually, but they lose their appeal when foisted upon me by my own neurotic brain.

Find inexpensive glass dildos at SheVibeAdultShopping, Lovehoney (international), and Stockroom.

  1. And named it. []
  • The Blue Swirl is mesmerizing to look at! I wish it was a magic wand. Sadly it is not, because if it were you could have flicked and swished it, yelled, “Accio Crystal Twist,” and then your day would have ended very differently.

  • Dannicula

    Thanks for reviewing some from the brand! I have to admit I like the look of a lot of their dildos but they have ones that end really weirdly, like with that nub. That said, I have a couple from them, DW, and gläs, and can say all of them are 100x more appealing to me than Icicles. Joyful Pleasures especially seems to have some heft.

  • they have ones that end really weirdly, like with that nub.

    Haha it’s so true! And yes, everything is better than Icicles.

  • Jayme

    I am so glad to see the reviews on these! I only have the Midnight Joy so far and I love it. That color is amazing too, black glass but slightly transparent. I also have some of the Lovehoney brand glass dildos and the Tracey Cox set which is 2 dildos (and 2 bags) for $43! The Tracey Cox line is also only available through Lovehoney. The Lovehoney brand dildos are pretty basic shapes and no colors, but they are really nice quality and each one comes with a bag. They’re a bargain if you want to try glass without breaking the bank. (Use Epiphora’s Lovehoney link!) And they’re not Pipedreams- bonus!! Lovehoney also has a few of their own brand glass butt plugs too if that interests you, all their glass pieces are between $30-$40 each. I’m planning to try a couple other Joyful Pleasures, maybe the Sinful and the Infinite Joy, so pretty! After I buy a Crystal Twist of course!

  • Lia Heavvymetalqueen

    I’ve never really been interested in glass dildos but that Midnight Joy made me perk up. It’s so pretty, it looks like a shiny flute. Definitely keeping that one in mind for when I have disposable sex toy money to start experimenting with glass/texture.

    It sure would be nice to have a dildo that doesn’t attract cat hair from across the house!!

  • lezzerlee

    That last one the Orgasmic Key looks like it’s only good for anal.

  • Jane

    On of the pieces in the Tracey Box 2 piece set is basically identical to the 50 shades “drive me crazy” and is pretty much my favorite (and the other one in the set is fun too.)

    I was hoping the Blue Swirl would be the glass equivalent of the Echo Handle, which I love.

  • Pegasister42

    The first dildo I ever got was one from Glas. I now prefer silicone vaginally, but it works great in my ass.

  • Yesss I’m so happy to see glass reviews! As soon as I saw the picture for the Midnight Joy I knew it’d be a good one. I never realized I was such a texture fiend until you started talking about it though. Do you think you’ll ever organize a textured list?

  • www.pornssexx.com

    Haven’t tried glass before but am interested.

  • Is this what you mean?

  • ahh how did I not figure that out? Thank youuuuu.

  • Stephanie R.

    Another Joyful Pleasure dildo, the Angel Heart, is really good for anal too. And the sparkly heart-shaped handle looks really cute sticking out of a butt.

  • Stabbin Robots

    I actually think the Midnight Joy *is* the prettiest. Different strokes.

    DAD JOKE.

  • Pegasister42

    I know a friend of mine is really into a glass dildo I got her with a circular base/opposite side, which she says works well for g-spot stimulation, since the hard material and ease of maneuverability helps reach her g-spot, since apparently it’s in some obscure corner of her vagina.

  • www.pornssexx.com

    Glass dildos are interesting. Great review.

  • Tmcaurinus

    Do you mean spherical base? If so, I like those, too.

  • Tmcaurinus

    My closest friend has a glass dildo that looks exactly like the Midnight Joy, but it’s clear and the sphere at the one end is frosted. Really pretty. I’ll have to ask her if she knows the brand!

  • Tmcaurinus

    That’s good to know, because I will never, ever buy anything that has the “Fifty Shades of Grey” name on it, no matter how wonderful it looks.

  • Jane

    I’m right there with you on the 50 shades thing. Actually, maybe it’s been discontinued, since Shevibe just put it in their “clearance that isn’t coming back” section at a massive discount.

  • Tmcaurinus

    Hahaha! Good for them.

  • Pegasister42

    Yes.

  • Fuzzy

    The princess and the blue swirl are particularly delightful for anal. The length of both is a bonus here. Would love to see more comments from you in reviews with regards to both fore and aft play as we are a couple who enjoys both (both of us) and it is hard to find good reviews for toys where people include how they work for anal.

    These are great toys, but made even more impressive by the price-point.

    p.s: We bought our eroscillator 2 top deluxe (the one with all the attachments) based on your reviews on that series of toy and after 6 months we couldn’t be happier for a toy. Darn near the last vibrator you’ll ever need, but we have an eye on the hitachi rechargeable now just because we do so love variety.

  • Tzipora

    There’s something deeply depressing when you think you live the look of the texture on a glass toy only to discover either A. You can’t actually feel it. Or B. Wait this thing is 11inches long and the best textured pieces are never ever gonna make it inside me. Lol. Actually I believe the dildo that managed to do both of those for me was from flipping Pipedreams. Bleck. Which knowing what I now do about said company its not so surprising the shape looked great but didn’t seem to have been designed by anyone with half a clue about female anatomy. Kinda stopped buying glass toys after that actually. But you’re inspiring me to take another look at my options. I swear by my Don Wands bent graduate (though it may have been renamed the bent g dream or some such?). That toy taught me to squirt and hence fueled my “omg glass is the best thing ever!” obsession for a few years. But yeah tried a few others and they never lived up to the hype.

  • burds

    fave post of the year!

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