Anal Toys

Review: Boosty

Review: Boosty

When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of that reaction was in response to the turquoise color option, but it’s not only that — this butt plug just has a cheerful, persuasive aura about it. However, now that I’ve had it in my soul, and vis-à-vis in my butt, I am stumped on how to describe the sensation it creates. With those ripples, you’d think it would be a pronounced, observable feeling — but my butt registers it mostly as size. (I can’t feel the color. Damnit.) The Boosty is the sequel to Fun Factory’s Bootie, which is my favorite silicone butt plug and part of my holy trinity of favorite plugs. It’s a tough act to follow. . . . read more

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

I can’t prove it — unless Google Talk instant message logs count as evidence — but I had this idea first. Rolly kegel balls in a butt plug? Oh yes. Years ago. You can imagine my delight when not one but two companies came out with products closely following my vision. You can imagine my despair when both of them failed me. The Marc Dorcel Geisha Plug was the first to let me down. First with the name, because NO. Second with the “diamond” base. Chintzy and laughable, it looks like one of those fake mirrors a Barbie would hold. But mostly with the sensation. The Geisha Plug’s bulb is smaller than a marshmallow, so it’s easily inserted… but something feels immediately, . . . read more

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a vibrating butt plug. It looks like a butt plug. It functions adequately as a butt plug. But something compelled me to put this toy in my vagina, and it was absolutely one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Like, on par with buying my first mug warmer, or thinking “hm, maybe I’ll start a blog.” Immediately, the Tango vibrator in the base nestled up against my clit, so closely that it seemed there was a chance of bringing myself to orgasm without touching anything. Just sitting there like a blob. Could I do it? I gripped the Dusk with my PC muscles, pulling it . . . read more

Review: Pure Plugs

Review: Pure Plugs

I could’ve written a review for the njoy Pure Plugs before ever putting a single one in my ass. Of course, I would never do such a thing. And sometimes, my hunches about toys are way off. But in this instance, I’d like to gloat about the fact that I was totally and completely spot on (à la Gordon Ramsay). The Pure Plugs seem like flawless, glorious nuggets of shiny stainless steel, and that is exactly what they are. Put one in your ass, be astounded, THE END. They are love at first butt. First insertion? First ass? I’m basically as excited as Samwell about this. That tells you much of what you need to know. SheVibe graciously sent me both the medium and large Pure Plugs, . . . read more

Review: Severin

Review: Severin

I don’t know how to say this in a way that is pleasant, but that’s okay — I’ve never really been the queen of class. It feels like I’m pooping. Because the Tantus Severin’s final bulge rests right inside my ass, it feels like I’m on the verge of a poop. Constantly. Especially if I walk around. It feels awkward, like it wants out. I’ve tried to push the plug in further, but it always ends up resting right at that spot, with the neck hanging out and the base poking into my ass cheeks. The base isn’t super uncomfortable, but it’s definitely… obvious. And distracting. And I don’t know why it has to be so big. And it blocks my . . . read more

Review: Ryder

Review: Ryder

There is nothing wrong with the Tantus Ryder. This is a butt plug that means business. It does its job and does it well. If it were a person, you’d want it as an employee or personal assistant. I bet it would make impeccable coffee.1 I used to own a purple Ryder. Then Tantus came out with limited edition neon colors, and a wonderful person offered to buy me an orange one in exchange for my purple one. Unsurprisingly, having an orange Ryder to photograph and ogle and put up my butt made me much more giddy about this particular toy. At first glance, the Ryder is not revolutionary in its shape. It’s a slightly-tapered bulb with a thinner neck and . . . read more

Review: G-Rider

Review: G-Rider

I’m just going to have to admit defeat with this one. The Nexus G-Rider is too much for my butt. I thought I could handle it. I have the G-Play medium — a smaller cousin of the G-Rider — and I like it. It’s nothing crazy-good, but it feels pleasant, and it vibrates. Vibrating butt plugs are rare in my collection. So why not go bigger? GO BIG OR GO HOME, right? Well, no. The G-Rider feels too long, too stiff, too heavy, and just generally too big. I’m not sure if my butt has a limit in terms of butt plug sizes, or if I just haven’t used anal toys enough, but the G-Rider is simply not ideal. It’s nearly . . . read more

Review: Pfun

Review: Pfun

As my first stainless steel butt plug, it’s kinda funny that the njoy Pfun is meant, well, for the prostate — but I have an unhealthy love for curved butt toys (my favorites are the Romp and the Bootie), so I figured it could work even for my prostateless ass. And it does work, but holy crap, it’s heavy. Even though I own the Pure Wand, I wasn’t anticipating so much weight up my butt. I think, after much testing, the best way to describe using the Pfun is thus: “comfortable, but heavy.” Or maybe, “comfortable for a while, then too heavy.” The Pfun is not overly large; it’s only 1.25″ in diameter, with 3 1/2″ of insertable length. However, . . . read more

Review: Flexi Felix

Review: Flexi Felix

I’ve been reviewing sex toys for over two years now, so it’s high time I tried some mothafuggin’ anal beads. Yet… there’s not much to say about the Flexi Felix. This 100% silicone string of beads is made by Fun Factory, purveyor of cute sex toys with faces — although I don’t want to think too hard about the face in this case, since my fingers are meant to gouge Felix’s poor eyes out. Felix comes in black, blue, and pink and is one foot long (9″ insertable). Felix is not as vibrant in color as most photos portray; mine’s the blue one, and it’s more of a pale blue than a sky blue. Felix’s silicone is matte and generally firm, . . . read more

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