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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Vibrators

Oldest
  • Latest
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  • A to Z
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 2

February 26, 2010
It’s the tweezers! The tooth! The chopsticks! Or… the rabbit ears, if you want to be boring. It’s the Jimmyjane...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System

March 3, 2010
The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is all about pomp and bravado. It has a...
Keep Reading
Me holding the mighty Eroscillator, with the pillowy marshmallow attachment.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGuest ReviewsVibrators

Guest Review: Eroscillator

March 4, 2010
I’m not surprised that my insanely extensive and enthusiastic review of the Eroscillator resulted in several of my readers lusting...
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Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong
April Fool's!Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong

April 1, 2010
The 1st thing I noticed about the Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong was his alluring scent. OMG, it reminded me of cherry...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

April 8, 2010
It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way,...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Bnaughty Unleashed

April 12, 2010
It’s okay. You can be wary of the Bswish Bnaughty Unleashed. I was too. And sadly, having tried it now,...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Beyond 1

April 16, 2010
How do you improve on a truly fantastic G-spot dildo? Duh, you make it vibrate! Vibrations make everything infinitely better,...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Turn Me On Vibrating Panties

April 20, 2010
Sometimes, even almighty sex toy reviewers make dumb mistakes. I made a huge one when I saw the Booty Parlor...
Keep Reading
BanterSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibratorsWhine Time

The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

May 4, 2010
The Jimmyjane Form 2 was so close to perfect. Until it wasn’t anymore. I started noticing, while using the Form...
Keep Reading
California Exotics Turbo Glider
BanterHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibrators

Love letter to the Turbo Glider

May 31, 2010
Dearest Turbo Glider, Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things...
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Jimmyjane Form 6 vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 6

June 8, 2010
I’ve been dreading writing this review. I’ve been putting it off. I’ve been typing and deleting, trying to form sentences...
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LELO Ina rechargeable vibrator, on top of the "naked people puzzle," as my family calls it
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Ina

June 14, 2010
The LELO Ina is a very divisive toy. Those who love it vehemently love it; others vehemently bemoan its incompatibility with their...
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Je Joue SaSi oral sex toy.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: SaSi

June 29, 2010
The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most...
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Fun Factory MiniVibe Spring rechargeable silicone vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Spring

August 17, 2010
The Fun Factory MiniVibe Spring is a little pipsqueak of a vibrator in the same family as Fun Factory’s Bubbles,...
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LELO Siri rechargeable clitoral vibrator
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Siri

September 10, 2010
Siri is a new release from LELO made specifically for clitoral stimulation. Siri is futuristic and adorable, small and perfect for grasping....
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Toyfriends

September 27, 2010
My standards for the Toyfriends were laughably low. I reviewed their predecessors, the Ticklers, and was astonished by with their...
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

We-Vibe Wish rechargeable clitoral vibrator on a small table, next to a clock and necklace.

Review: Wish

Vintage vibrators: the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator (top), Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager.

Review: Vintage vibrators

Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

Movie Night: The Final Member

Aneros Evi kegel exerciser on top of a cream-colored knit fabric.

Review: Evi

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