Massive 5-year blogiversary sex toy giveaway!

Massive sex toy giveaway prizes!
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Five is a good, solid number. And it is now the number of years I have been stuffing things in my vagina for the internet’s entertainment writing this blog!

Never one to disappoint, I am following up my usual epic blogiversary giveaway each October with a giveaway even more epic. The number of prizes has been steadily rising each year, and this year it rests at a hefty 18. You guys! This is getting out of control! Here’s a taste of the smorgasbord:

As always, I am only giving away toys I’ve tried and loved (except the Shilo Pack and Play and Fleshlight). I wrangled a range of items: vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, a sleeve, a packer, a harness, and even a $150 gift certificate, so there is bound to be something that calls your name. About half the prizes are also open to my lovely international readers!

Here’s how to enter. Scroll through the list, ogle the photos, and decide which toy you want to enter for (yes, you have to choose just one — pick the one you want the most!). Make sure it can be shipped to your country. Write down its name if you are prone to forgetfulness. Then fill out the Rafflecopter form at the bottom and cross yer fingers.

Big hugs to the companies that donated: LELOSheVibeLovehoneyTantusWe-VibeFleshlightVixen CreationsCrystal DelightsBabelandNobEssenceSmitten KittenEarly to Bed, and Good Vibrations. Thank you all for being awesome!

This giveaway ends on Tuesday, November 5th at 11:59 pm PST.

Open to everyone / international readers

LELO Mona 2!

The LELO Mona 2, donated by LELO. And knowing my supreme love for this toy, LELO was super generous and donated TWO. There will be TWO winners of this incredible toy, and you’ll get to choose your color. This is basically the vibrator of the decade. Versatile as fuck, with a range of vibrations that could suit almost anyone.

Open to international readers!

Jopen Comet G Wand

The Jopen Comet G Wand, donated by SheVibe. This silicone-dipped glass dildo is disgustingly good at G-spotting. The drag of the silicone is perfection for replicating the “come hither” motion that G-spots love. One of the best new toys I’ve tried this year.

Open to readers in the U.S., UK, Canada, and Australia!

njoy Pure Plugs

The njoy Pure Plug, in your choice of size, donated by Lovehoney. The weight and shape of this plug is unprecedented, as is the ergonomic base. Stainless steel is officially THE BEST anal toy material around.

Open to most international readers — any place Lovehoney ships to for free (check here).

Tantus toys galore!

A $150 gift certificate donated by Tantus. What will you get in their awesome online shop? The Splash? The Cush O2? Or perhaps one of their newer toys, the Juice, Rocket, or Duke? So many possibilities!

Open to international readers — you agree to pay customs/duties fees if applicable.

Eroscillator 2 Plus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus, donated by SheVibe. SOMEHOW, I’ve never given away an Eroscillator on my blog, even though it’s been one of my favorite toys for FOUR YEARS. As always, look past its fugly exterior to the toy within — a toy that oscillates, and feels different and deeper than a traditional vibrator.

Open to readers in the U.S., UK, Canada, and Australia!

We-Vibe Touch

The We-Vibe Touch, donated by We-Vibe. This petite rechargeable vibe is small enough to nestle in the palm, but equipped with enough oomph to satisfy. That’s a hard combo to find. Trust me.

Open to international readers!


Fleshlight of the winner’s choice (excluding those molded from stars), donated by Fleshlight. I just asked my boyfriend to sum this toy up for you, and he said in a movie-announcer voice, “it’s the next best thing to my very own hand.”

Open to readers in the U.S. and Europe only.


Open to U.S. readers only

Vixen Mustang

The Vixen Creations Mustang in the color of your choice, donated by Vixen Creations. Ooh, gurl, if you haven’t experienced VixSkin dual-density silicone yet, you must. The Mustang is a really great and manageable size, and the VixSkin will spoil you for life. Guaranteed.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Crystal Delights Crystal Twist

The Crystal Delights Crystal Twist, with the winner’s choice of Swarovski crystal color, donated by Crystal Delights. Such a unique and beautiful glass dildo! Still, I have found nothing that stimulates my G-spot quite like this. I literally twist the toy up against it. It’s amazing.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Fun Factory Stronic Eins

The Fun Factory Stronic Eins, donated by Babeland. I had to use a GIF so that you would understand what this crazy mofo does. It thrusts. It does not vibrate. And if you prop it up against a pillow, you don’t even have to hold it. I often crave it specifically — a sure sign of excellence in my household.

Open to U.S. readers only.

NobEssence Romp

The NobEssence Romp, donated by NobEssence. Gah, this butt plug! It is so good! I don’t know how they came up with this majestic shape, but it is perfect in every way. Plus that base is butt-cheek-friendly… for optimum comfort. That sounded like a mattress commercial. OH WELL.

Open to U.S. readers only.

New York Toy Collective Shilo Pack and Play

The New York Toy Collective Shilo Pack and Play, in the color of the winner’s choice, donated by the Smitten Kitten. This delicious piece of squishy silicone with a bendable shaft has been getting rave reviews. The future is here, my friends, and it involves dildos/packers that literally bend to our will.

Open to U.S. readers only.

njoy Pure Wand

The njoy Pure Wand, donated by Early to Bed. No big deal, guys, just one of the greatest G-spotting dildos of all time. Only the toy that has taught millions1 of vaginas to squirt. The solid stainless steel and C shape are the holy grail of G-spotting.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness

Thanks, Objets de Plaisir, for the photo!

The Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness, donated by Good Vibrations. I don’t usually wear a harness, but when I do, it’s the Joque. This harness, aside from being super comfortable and adjustable, is also machine-washable. YES.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Crystal Delights Star Delight

The Crystal Delights Star Delight, with the winner’s choice of Swarovski crystal color, donated by Crystal Delights. One of the only glass dildos you’ll ever need. Just look at it. Bumps and a G-spotting head to boot. It’s a great one.

Open to U.S. readers only.

NobEssence Seduction

The NobEssence Seduction, donated by NobEssence. This is another toy that I somehow have never given away before, and it’s a fucking travesty. The Seduction is one of my top 3 G-spot dildos of all time. I love how lightweight the wood is, and the both ends are epic G-spotters. I am swooning just thinking about the bigger end.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Vixen Buck

The Vixen Creations Buck, in the color of your choosing, donated by Vixen Creations. A girthy yet surmountable dildo, Buck is, for me, the Goldilocks of VixSkin dildos. The detailing on this toy is insane, and that head is curved and pronounced to stimulate the G-spot wonderfully. The fullness at the vaginal opening is also excellent.

Open to U.S. readers only.


Deadline: Tuesday, November 5th, 2013 at 11:59 p.m. PST.


  • All winners must be 18+.
  • The winners of the Mustang, Crystal Twist, Stronic Eins, Romp, Shilo, Pure Wand, Joque, Star Delight, Seduction, and Buck must live in the U.S.
  • The winners of the Comet G and Eroscillator 2 Plus must live in the U.S., UK, Canada, or Australia.
  • The winner of the Fleshlight must live in the U.S. or Europe.
  • International winners agree to pay customs/duties fees if needed.
  1. rough estimate