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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Doc Johnson

Doc Johnson is one of the big four sex toy manufacturers, in addition to California Exotic, Topco, and Pipedream.

All you need to know is that they are the perpetrators of the Deen Peen.

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2017

December 31, 2017
2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got...
Keep Reading
Doc Johnson TruSkyn line: Tru Butt Plug Smooth, Tru Ride, Tru Feel, Tru Curve sitting on a black platter on top of a bed.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Doc Johnson TruSkyn

December 10, 2017
I should start with an apology, because when this line of sex toys came out, I mocked it. “Hahahahaha Doc...
Keep Reading
Bro Sleeve (Doc Johnson Helping Head masturbation sleeve) on fuzzy red and orange carpet.
Guest ReviewsPenis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Guest Review: Bro Sleeve (Good Head Helping Head sleeve)

April 21, 2015
As exciting as my vagina is to you people, I know it’s not the be-all-end-all of genitals. There are certain...
Keep Reading
Bendable Vertebrae vibrators: colorful, worm-like vibrators in strange positions... because they have SPINES.
"The Industry"BanterGreatest HitsToybox Reports

Terrible sex toys I used to lust after

July 22, 2013
In 2007 when I started reviewing sex toys, I knew nothing about them. Oh, I knew that jelly was bad in theory,...
Keep Reading
Epiphora's best sex toys of 2012
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2012

December 20, 2012
Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me...
Keep Reading
James Deen dildos
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: James Deen dildos

October 15, 2012
THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY. Having followed porn star James Deen for years,...
Keep Reading
Joy Finger, a vibrator with a bandaid-colored human-like finger-shaped sleeve on the end.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: “Joy” Finger

March 2, 2010
In the biggest product name FAIL of all time, I present to you the Joy Finger from Doc Johnson. I...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: iVibe Egg

June 23, 2009
Sure, bullet/egg vibes rule. They’re tiny and portable and made for the clit. In a way, they’re all bound to...
Keep Reading

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Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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  • Latest posts
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