Fill your baskets and your holes. These are the best prices you'll find on sex toys all year!

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!
updated 12/13! Need more sex toys for your black holes? Behold, my epic guide to the best sex toy deals has arrived! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, now’s your chance. These are the best prices and sweeping discounts you’ll find all year. I won’t make a big bang joke, I won’t make...
A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.
It was a 30th birthday party unlike any other.  The invitation read: Luxurious cuddles, siren’s songs, stroking, finger feeding, dancing, bondage, fucking, and deep admiration are all welcome in this courtyard of grecian revelry. Please bring your own safer sex supplies, toys, tools, and tasty snacks to share. Bring a strap-on if you have one! Languid, shimmery, ostentatious dress encouraged! Whatever makes...

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Screenshot from the now-defunct Teddy Love crowdfunding video, of a woman touching a teddy bear's nose.
This is not cute. This is not adorable. This is not acceptable. A teddy bear with a vibrating muzzle? Really? This is condescending, infantilizing, and damaging....
Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.
The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on the PS-spot (perineal sponge), thinking of...
Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.” I’m quite sure of this,...
Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a...

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over 15 years, yo.