Feb 202013

[The Comet G Wand has been replaced by the vibrating
Comet II (review here). All links in this review now go to Comet II.]

HELLO MY SWEETIt’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year.

I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we’re talking about. Jopen, creators of the what-the-fuck that is the Intensity. Jopen, whose parent company is California Exotic. Jopen, who must think they are naming perfumes rather than vibrator lines (KeyVanity). They’re not always the sharpest tool in the shed… but this is a motherfucking home run.

The Comet G Wand is a beautiful conglomeration. It’s a glass dildo “dipped in body safe silicone,” conjuring delicious images of chocolate-covered cones and strawberries. The glass handle has a stainless alloy “KEY” emblem embedded in it, reminding me (somewhat nonsensically) of certain My Little Ponies. Weirdly, the pink and purple versions of this toy have tinted handles, while the blue one has a clear handle. Thank god, because the tinted ones look gaudy.

Also ROBIN EGG BLUE. It is vibrant and delightful.

The Comet G Wand comes in a cardboard box which entices you to “lay back and enjoy the ride” while simultaneously specifying the toy as “for external use only”1. It does open up like a real box, with a foam cut-out nest for the toy, so I suppose you could use it for storage, but it’s no LELO box.

It comes with a black drawstring bag with a helpful “KEY” tag on it (distinguishing it from the 5,000 other black storage bags I’ve amassed), but it’s thin, papery, and reminds me of a garbage bag. Which would be hilarious if this toy were garbage, but instead it’s just sad. A toy of this caliber deserves at least a little padding.

The Comet G Wand does have a very very light seam on the silicone part, which I didn’t even notice until I read about it in a review and subsequently scrutinized mine. Others make a hullabaloo about the crevice where the silicone meets the glass, but I’ve dealt with much, much worse. I can handle a quick 360-degree toothbrush scrub.

Besides, the glass and silicone combination is pretty genius. The glass gives the toy some weight and sturdiness, while the matte silicone provides ample friction. I’m usually crotchety about insertable matte silicone and prefer my silicone glossy, but in this case, for once in the history of the world, it is perfect. Let me explain.

My G-spot really responds to this toy. My G-spot responds to a lot of toys, it’s true, but the sensation from this one is different and more intense. Why? Because the shape is flawless and the silicone drags a bit inside me. The friction from the silicone creates a sort of pulling sensation against my G-spot, mimicking the oft-recommended “come hither” motion. It definitely requires a lot of lube, but I don’t care. The feeling is unique and heavenly. I can’t get enough of it.

This is, perhaps, why this toy has worked like a charm even for people with notoriously picky G-spots. This is why Girly Juice wrote, “if you like G-spot stimulation, you will freak the fuck out over this toy.” She’s right. You will.

This is the first toy that has ever made me even consider writing the phrase b_____ t___ t__ P___ W___2. And you know I would not just toss around such blasphemy. Repeat, repeat: this does not render anything I said about the Pure Wand null or void. This is simply a toy that comes very, very, disturbingly close to usurping one of the greatest G-spot dildos of all time. No big whoop.

The Pure Wand, of course, is double-ended, and has weight and gravity on its side. The Comet G Wand, clocking in at 9.2 ounces, is nearly a pound lighter (and therefore easier on the joints). The Pure Wand is easier to control, while the Comet G Wand’s glass handle requires me to push it downward as I use it. But I don’t have issues holding it, except when I get too adamant about keeping my hoodie on while I masturbate and my hand gets all sweaty.

The Pure Wand has inherent slipperiness — the stainless steel glides effortlessly in the body. The Comet G Wand does not. The best way I can describe the sensation difference is like this: the Pure Wand pushes up against my G-spot, whereas the Comet G Wand grabs at it. Both are fucking awesome.

I have no hesitation saying that Jopen Key Comet G Wand is one of the best straight-up G-spot dildos I’ve used, forming a materially-diverse trifecta with the stainless steel Pure Wand and wooden NobEssence Seduction. As such, it is a worthy addition to the collection of any G-spot searcher or aficionado. I’m gonna have a hard time not flailing about this toy whenever some one utters the word “G-spot.” Prepare to be annoyed.

The Comet G Wand has been replaced by the vibrating Comet II
(review here), which is just as good. I implore you, BUY ONE.

  1. The usual covering-our-asses language that many larger manufacturers put on their packaging. []
  2. Translation: “better than the Pure Wand” []
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