Feb 112014
 

Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com.

Ask Piph: Pure Wand Edition
Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t heard of the Pure Wand, it is a solid, double-ended piece of stainless steel that many (including myself) regard as the G-spot’s/prostate’s savior. I get a lot of questions about it, so I decided to compile them all in one place.

I’m buying a Pure Wand to use on myself (as a guy) but also with partners. I was wondering what tips you could give me on how best to use the toy after I’ve spoken to my partners about it. What sort of motion is best with the Pure Wand, a thrusty one or just a constant pressure on the G-spot?

Dylan Ryan and Danny Wylde using the njoy Pure WandI don’t use penetrative toys with my boyfriend often, but the Pure Wand is one of few insertable toys that I am happy to have him use on me because it is pretty foolproof. The worst you can do is poke someone’s cervix, which is true with any toy, but with the Pure Wand, a lot of the angling is done for you (which I find to be the most frustrating thing about partner toy use). However, it is heavier than most toys, so be prepared for an arm workout.

Without stating the obvious too much, every person is going to be different. I imagine some people like a constant pressure, while others prefer a soft rocking motion, and others crave a swift thrusting. I personally like a pretty short thrusting motion, just back and forth, where the user’s hand moves parallel to the bed. It might be worthwhile to watch some porn in which people use the Pure Wand on themselves and each other.

But your best bet is to have your subject try the toy on their own, then show you how they thrust. Watch closely, give it a shot, and communicate during. It’s definitely an odd toy to handle at first, but you’ll get the hang of it.

Am I the only one who has not gotten off with the njoy Pure Wand? I’ve used it a few times, and it just doesn’t do anything for me. There doesn’t seem to be any magic sweet spot that it hits and I feel like I’m being probed by an indifferent robot. Either I am suffering from a serious personal deficiency (no G-spot?) or I need inside access to the Pure Wand Guide for Dummies. Please tell me I’m not the only one who doesn’t love the damned thing?

You’re not the only one. Lorax and Adriana aren’t fans either. But with that said, I’m inclined to think that more practice is needed.

Everyone with a vagina has a G-spot (it’s a part of the body also known as the urethral sponge), so it’s not that. But are you warming yourself up before using it? The G-spot responds better when you are already turned on. Are you using something clitorally while you use the Pure Wand? G-spot stimulation is greatly enhanced by simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Have you peed and removed all distractions? Make sure you are REALLY aroused and relaxed before picking up the Pure Wand. Without that, all the positions and movements may make no difference. Although, of course, you should try a variety of movements and positions as well.

DO NOT GIVE UP. I have faith that you can succeed with the Pure Wand. In fact, I gave this exact advice to one reader in your same boat, and days later she wrote back, “Thank you thank you thank you. Everyone with a vagina needs a Pure Wand.” Her secret? Staying in a hotel room away from the kids and having her partner use the Pure Wand on her during oral.

I truly love my Pure Wand, but it has never made me squirt. I definitely know where my G-spot is and can touch it with my fingers, and I swear I’ve watched every squirting technique video and have read every piece of literature on female ejaculation, but even the Pure Wand does not make it happen. Seriously — what am I doing wrong?

Liberator Fascinator Shag ThroeA few things I would suggest, if you aren’t doing them already: put a towel or Liberator Throe under you, and pee beforehand so you don’t have any lingering worries about making a mess. Take your time getting turned on: use a warm-up toy on your G-spot before using the Pure Wand, along with a clitoral vibe.

Then, with lots o’ lube, insert the Pure Wand and gently rock it back in forth inside of you. Keep using the clitoral vibe if that feels good. When you’re ready, put your game face on and thrust like a mofo. In my experience, you have to thrust like a mofo to squirt. Try to relax as much as possible and keep your vaginal muscles open, not clenched. Increase your thrusting speed until the need-to-pee sensation creeps up, then becomes overwhelming. Then THRUST SOME MORE. If you feel a release on the horizon, push out with your muscles. Hopefully, hopefully, you will squirt.

I’m a G-spot beginner (as in, I’m not even entirely sure I’ve pinpointed it). Would investing in a Pure Wand be a good idea, or should I wait until I’m better, er, acquainted with my G-spot?

Part of me is screaming yes, but the other part wonders if you should try something less extreme first. I took a poll on Twitter (always the most accurate) and peeps were pretty evenly split. There are two schools of thought when it comes to this question.

The first school is that you should absolutely get the Pure Wand because it’s one of the best G-spotters money can buy. It has been proven to work for a great many people, including folks who previously didn’t know where their G-spots were. It is likely to pinpoint your G-spot faster than most other toys, and its shape does much of the work for you. It has a smaller end, so you don’t have to use the big bulb to begin with. Also, it will spoil you in the best possible way.

But, for some, the size, shape, and weight of the Pure Wand can be intimidating and overwhelming, and if it turns out that you don’t like G-spot stimulation, there is no back-up usage for the Pure Wand (except as a weapon, of course).

If this concerns you, I’d suggest a multi-purpose vibrator such as the PicoBong Moka or LELO Mona 2; a less intense silicone dildo like the Tantus Comet, Vixen Creations Mustang/Woody, Pleasure Works SirenTantus AcuteLELO Ella, or Tantus Rocket; or a glass toy with a bulbous head. I first found my G-spot with a toy that merely had a pronounced head (no curve). What matters is that the toy has a pronounced and/or curved head, is comfortable for you, and is easy to thrust with.

In my opinion? If you want to go for the G-spot gold, are not terrified by the thought of a chunk of stainless steel entering you, and have the money, go for it. Get the Pure Wand. Just make sure you pair it with a good clitoral vibe, like the LELO Mona 2Eroscillator, Vibratex Mystic Wand, or We-Vibe Touch.

Should I get the Pure Wand, Seduction, or Comet G Wand? I can’t decide, and you seem to love them all!

njoy Pure Wand, NobEssence Seduction, Jopen Key Comet G WandYes! I was not kidding when I called these three toys my trifecta of G-spotters. I find it very difficult to choose between them, and if I want to pound my G-spot into oblivion, it really just depends on which material I’m in the mood for.

Here’s what it comes down to: it’s easier to squirt with the Pure Wand, it’s easier to wield the wooden Seduction (so lightweight!), and the G-spot stimulation is most intense with the Comet G Wand. I find the G-spot stimulation more intense with less movement with the Seduction and Comet, while the Pure Wand definitely has to be thrusted in order to feel all of its glory. But because of its stainless steel, it glides the most effortlessly. The Comet drags the most, requiring the most lube.

Basically, all are amazing, and you won’t regret any of them. And if you’re wondering if you should own all of them or if that would be redundant — you should own them all. Eventually.

In the mood for buying a Pure Wand now? You can get it at one of my fave shops:
SheVibeGoodVibesBabelandEarly to BedCAYA (Canada), Lovehoney (international), etc.

  • If I had a friend that was a total beginner and asked me for advice, I would not hesitate to recommend the Pure Wand. First, it’s come down in price a lot and you can find some really good deals. It’s almost indestructible. It’s a very hygienic nonporous material so, if they ended up really hating it (which is so unlikely to happen) they could always bequeath it to another.
    And, if they told me that they were intimidated by it, I’d probably just give ’em a loving little smack upside the head and tell them that’s ridiculous.

  • And, if they told me that they were intimidated by it, I’d probably just give ’em a loving little smack upside the head and tell them that’s ridiculous.

    That is, admittedly, my first thought too. People have this irrational fear that hard materials will, like, break their vaginas. I can understand if it’s the curve they’re afraid of, though.

  • faithlessjuliet

    I agree about being really aroused before using the Pure Wand. It’s too intense and doesn’t feel good unless I’ve had a few orgasms beforehand. I think this is true though with most of my more intense toys like the Vixen Maverick or Big Boss.

  • Yup, Pure Wand is so very much Not For Me. That said- the one technique of g-spot region touch that won’t make me wanna kick you in the head (and out of my bed) is more a back and forth windshield-wiper type motion than the more traditionally talked about front to back. It has, on rare occasion, felt Not Bad. I still fucking love the Pure Wand because it’s gorgeous and I keep it nearby in case some foolhardy burglar ever breaks into my house. That thing is heavy enough to put anyone down!

  • My technique with the Pure Wand is to push down pretty hard on the handle so it forces the head up into my G-spot with a lot of pressure. Sometimes I like just holding it there for constant pressure and sometimes I rock it a little. I never thrust with it.

  • FredKitten

    I still don’t really know if I want one. I have a comet wand and I’m happy about it. Very good hold/movement because I have issues with my wrists. So if you’re ever recommending g spot toys to someone with wrist problems, it’s a better option. (I’ve never tried the seduction so I couldn’t say about that one)

    But really squirting confuses me anyway, like I do it but I just don’t -get- it.

  • Thank you for the link! It has been so very long since I wrote that review, but I still really stand by it. I think that my personal anatomy has really colored my experiences, especially before I realized where my G-spot was. This is also why I don’t like Ella-shaped things. But at the end of the day, I don’t need something like this to stimulate my G-spot, so that’s cool, right?

    The thing is.. with so many people calling the pure wand the holy grail of sex toys, there’s sort of this stigma about personal failure if it doesn’t work for you. I really wish a few more people said “Hey, you know, this isn’t the perfect toy for everyone. Remember: one size fits most. And if you’re not ready for the risk (mostly financial), then don’t do it.”

    Because those differing experiences matter, too. So I’m glad you pointed them out.

  • This is exactly how my experience with the Pure Wand, Comet, and Ella like toys. All I need is some texture on a dildo to stimulate my G-spot.

    The Pure Wand might be a Holy grail for some of you, but for me… it was on of the worst things I could insert. Nothing but pain no matter which technique I used.

  • Ophy

    An important thing to consider that isn’t mentioned here… The Pure Wand is made from 316 surgical steel and contains about 8-10% nickel, so anyone with nickel sensitivities should be extremely wary of putting this anywhere near their bits.

  • sophistre

    The Pure Wand is beautiful and taught me a lot about my g-spot…but I pretty much never choose it over the Jopen (thanks for that one, piph). It’s not that it isn’t the right shape, it’s just that the hardness makes me feel super tenderized inside if I move it around enough for it to actually work, a fact probably exacerbated by the fact that I’m not sleeping with a regular partner these days, and my vagina isn’t super-accommodating anymore. On top of that, my insides are pretty curved in a u shape around my pubic bone (my gyno has a hell of a time seeing my cervix).

    So…ultimately, even though the Jopen seems thicker, it has that grippy effect because of the silicone, and it doesn’t move inside of me so much as *move my insides*, if that makes sense, with the result that I don’t feel nearly as banged up inside.

  • Kat

    Funny how this came on the day I received my very own Pure Wand… This is the first informed purchase I made, after reading and following you blog, and trusting your word like the law. I was so excited to try it. At first, I was terrified that it wasn’t working, but then I stumbled across the greatest James Deen video ever, where he and the actress resembled me and my crush so much that I couldn’t even believe it. (I wasn’t even a fan of him before this day.) I never thought I’d be saying this, but I feel like I’ve found heaven. I laughed, I cried hysterically, I fucked myself silly, and this toy… oh my God. I cannot thank you enough for this.

  • cjd2004

    Have you tried it anally yet?

  • I WANT ONE.

    Since I like the Fun Wand but wish it was bigger, I’m certain I’ll be someone who enjoys (Njoys) the Pure wand. It’ll only be a question of, how much?

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