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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

glass

A glorious sex toy material. Seamless, frictionless, and gorgeous. And no, it won’t shatter inside of you unless you’re this woman. My favorite indie glass toy manufacturer is Crystal Delights, but there are other designs from various manufacturers.

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Joyful Pleasure glass dildos: Joyful Princess, Midnight Joy, Orgasmic Key Pleasure, Joyful Blue Swirl
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Joyful Pleasure glass dildos

May 1, 2015
These glass dildos from Joyful Pleasure presented me with a few obstacles. See, I have this thing with insertable objects where I feel...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Ash Girl glass dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Ash Girl

December 3, 2014
I have a lot of glass dildos, but I find it disturbingly easy to eschew most of them. When I...
Keep Reading
Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon large glass dildo on rough cement.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: G-Spoon

May 17, 2014
I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake. The dildo comes, of course,...
Keep Reading
Jopen Key Comet G Wand dildo balanced on top of a heart-shaped bowl, courtesy of Alex.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Comet G Wand

April 15, 2013
Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially...
Keep Reading
HELLO MY SWEET. The Comet G Wand lying on a colorful striped platter.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Comet G Wand

February 20, 2013
It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I...
Keep Reading
Glass dildos by Fucking Sculptures: G-Spoon, Corkscrew, Two-Cumber, Hooded Nun.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: Fucking Sculptures

January 7, 2013
These people just cut to the chase. They called their company Fucking Sculptures. I like that gumption. I like it a...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Crystal Twist swirly glass dildo on my porch.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

How to make a gorgeous dildo even prettier

December 7, 2012
I like toys that do all the taking-good-photos work for me. The Crystal Twist is one of those toys. As...
Keep Reading
Pipedream Original Peter Piper pipe/dildo hybrid against a psychedelic rainbow background.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Peter Piper and Erotic Cigar

August 9, 2012
So this is an actual thing. I don’t know why it’s called The Original Peter Piper, because I’m pretty sure the original Peter Piper is the one from 1813 who picked a peck of pickled peppers, not a glass dildo for potheads. But then again, this is from Pipedream,...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Star Delight close-up of the beautiful glacier blue aqua Swarovski crystal in the end.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Star Delight

August 6, 2012
Most sex toys, even the ones I end up loving, require multiple testing sessions before I get a handle on...
Keep Reading
Love Style Glass Lotus glass dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Lotus

February 29, 2012
A glass dildo shaped like an actual cock sounded pretty nice. I’m a fiend for many realistic dildos, so why...
Keep Reading
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Boiling day

February 24, 2012
Some dildos change, but boiling day remains the same. Pictured sorta left to right: Phallix Inside-Out Spiral Rib Double Dong,...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Crystal Twist glass dildo
Giveaways

Shiny twisty swanky glass dildo winner

February 5, 2012
The shiny twisty swanky glass dildo giveaway has concluded, and I must say, it was a roaring success! Not only...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Crystal Twist glass dildo
Giveaways

Shiny twisty swanky glass dildo giveaway!

January 17, 2012
You want this dildo. First, as you can see, it’s gorgeous. It’s glimmery. It’s iridescent. It has an effing Swarovski crystal...
Keep Reading
Crystal Delights Crystal Twist swirly glass dildo on my porch.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Crystal Twist

January 17, 2012
You may or may not be asking yourself, how can one go wrong with a sex toy shaped exactly like Taco...
Keep Reading
Standard Glass Spectral Glass Dildo in RAINBOW STRIPE!
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Standard Glass S Curve Spectral Glass Dildo

April 6, 2011
I went through a phase where I had to try every glass dildo that crossed my path. I tried bumpy...
Keep Reading
An array of toys lying on a paper towel to dry.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Afterward

March 25, 2011
After a long masturbation session, the kitchen counter usually looks something like this. This was taken in December of 2008,...
Keep Reading
1 2 3

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.

Review: Joque harness

The pinnacle of relief

Review: Turn Me On Vibrating Panties

Me in my Princessa video review

Video review: Princessa

Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box

Review: Rock Box

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