• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

    Review: Caress

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

pointed tip

Pinpoint stimulation, y’all. It’s one of my faves.

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

November 15, 2020
Sometimes companies surprise you. When Dame hit the scene with their zealously-crowdfunded initial effort, the “hands-free” labia-clinging Eva, I pegged... Keep Reading
GiveawaysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Zumio E

July 29, 2020
The tiniest tip ever to wiggle against my clit has morphed once again. It’s called the Zumio E, and it’s... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Volta rechargeable vibrator hanging out in a glass bowl of sea glass.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youPenis ToysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Volta

November 5, 2018
I’m not the type to chase adventure. Some people hop on roller coasters, travel to far-off lands, skydive out of... Keep Reading
Zumio X rechargeable clitoral vibrator, on a colorful striped blanket.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Zumio X

December 26, 2017
When you’re a sex toy reviewer, certain toys can feel like a blessing from above. Mediocre masturbation sessions are par... Keep Reading
Clandestine Devices Mimic vibrator on an ancient-looking egg scale. The cons outweigh the pros.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Anatomy of a negative sex toy review (or: the Mimic)

November 12, 2017
You’re mid-masturbation and you’ve forgotten what it’s like for orgasm to feel achievable. You’re doing everything right, theoretically: the vibrator’s... Keep Reading
My Celebrator oscillating toothbrush vibrator on a vintage floral patterned surface.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: My Celebrator

July 1, 2016
What is life if not a series of attempts at proving arrogant men wrong? I never wanted to have to... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Tango rechargeable bullet vibrator in a wooden bowl full of seashells.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tango

January 21, 2014
Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was... Keep Reading
BMS Factory Leaf Life rechargeable vibrator
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Life

May 10, 2012
The Leaf Life looks like something you’d pick up along a nature trail. Colored a cheery green and shaped like a fat... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Touch hanging out in a tiny adorable casserole dish.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Touch

November 7, 2011
Here’s a sentence only a sex toy freak would ever write: I’ve been waiting a long time for a company... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Toyfriends

September 27, 2010
My standards for the Toyfriends were laughably low. I reviewed their predecessors, the Ticklers, and was astonished by with their... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ticklers

February 11, 2010
The Toyfriend Ticklers will fool you, with their neon colors and cute-ass shapes. But their adorableness is matched, even overtaken,... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Bcurious

January 29, 2010
The Bswish Bcurious, which is quite humorously one letter away from being called the “Bicurious,” joins a small, tight-knit family... Keep Reading
Wahl All-Body Massager vibrator
Adventures in SquirtingHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Wahl

January 15, 2010
The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent... Keep Reading
Nomi Tang Better than Chocolate vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Better than Chocolate

December 13, 2009
Let’s get one thing out of the way: I don’t like chocolate all that much. In small doses or in... Keep Reading
The Eroscillator standing proudly on a table, with the Ultra Soft Fingertip attachment (marshmallow) on it.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Eroscillator

November 8, 2009
You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall... Keep Reading
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Impulse Kit Bunny Arouser

July 13, 2009
The Impulse Kit Bunny Arouser looks like a joke: a plastic, slightly pointed pink bullet with a TPR bunny-shaped sleeve. It... Keep Reading
1 2

Fresh tweets

True that. Thanks for the mug @funfactory_intl❤️ #fuck2020 https://t.co/XlXLpLNmZo
3 days ago
  • Reply
  • 5 Retweet
  • Favorite
Just made the mistake of turning on the impeachment hearing and some asshole is yelling "the president is being can… https://t.co/oH85xid9Cv
4 days ago
  • Reply
  • 4 Retweet
  • Favorite

Latest posts

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

Recent comments

Blog sponsors

Sex Toy Union (opens in new tab) FmRealm (opens in new tab) FmRealm (opens in new tab)

Tescort.com  ·  VR Porn Videos

  • About
  • Contact
  • Advertise with me
  • Consulting
  • Sex Blogging Course
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Disclosure & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Banter
  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ
  • About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 14,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish. [Privacy policy.]

Or perhaps you’d like to subscribe in a different way?