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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Bouquet of hand drawn sex toys.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & Rainbows

Friends who have sex with each other

July 12, 2014
Kynan greets me at the airport with a bouquet of hand-drawn sex toys. Eleven toys, all of them my favorites,...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven 3: Fuck Yeah!, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven 3: Fuck Yeah!

May 3, 2010
Courtney Trouble’s Seven Minutes in Heaven is a queer reality porn series. I am enamored with the first Seven Minutes...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Billy Castro Does the Mission, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Billy Castro Does the Mission

March 8, 2010
So Billy Castro, hottie extraordinaire of Bordello and Speakeasy, now has his own film. It’s called Billy Castro Does the...
Keep Reading
Courtney Trouble holding a time bomb.
FeaturesInterviews

A chat with Courtney Trouble, pt. 4

February 8, 2010
Courtney Trouble and I didn’t mean to have a drunken online chat; it just happened. I’d been meaning to email...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Bordello, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bordello

February 8, 2010
This shall excite you: Bordello is basically Clue porn. There is a murder, a selection of murder weapons, and a...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Roulette Berlin, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Berlin

February 7, 2010
Roulette Berlin follows in the footsteps of Roulette Dirty South and the original Roulette; it is a film composed of...
Keep Reading
Courtney Trouble, nude, in a black and white shot showing off their high heel tattoo.
FeaturesInterviews

A chat with Courtney Trouble, pt. 3

February 6, 2010
Courtney Trouble and I didn’t mean to have a drunken online chat; it just happened. I’d been meaning to email...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven 2, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven 2

February 6, 2010
I was really impressed by Seven Minutes in Heaven, so I was practically foaming at the mouth to watch Seven Minutes in...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Roulette Dirty South, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Dirty South

February 5, 2010
Roulette Dirty South is the second installment in Courtney Trouble’s Roulette series, which consists of vignette-style films. Per its name,...
Keep Reading
Courtney Trouble against a black and white paisley backdrop.
FeaturesInterviews

A chat with Courtney Trouble, pt. 2

February 4, 2010
Courtney Trouble and I didn’t mean to have a drunken online chat; it just happened. I’d been meaning to email...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven

February 4, 2010
Billed as the “first ever gonzo queer film,” Seven Minutes in Heaven is a reality porn film that gathers a...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Speakeasy, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Speakeasy

February 3, 2010
I had high hopes for Speakeasy, Courtney Trouble’s third film, because its premise is incredibly hot: a detective discovers an...
Keep Reading
Courtney Trouble on a bed, holding a camera up to their eye.
FeaturesInterviews

A chat with Courtney Trouble, pt. 1

February 2, 2010
Courtney Trouble and I didn’t mean to have a drunken online chat; it just happened. I’d been meaning to email...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Nostalgia, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Nostalgia

February 2, 2010
Besides having one of the most kickass porno titles of all time, Nostalgia is porn with purpose: to re-create “Golden...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Roulette, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette

February 1, 2010
Roulette is Courtney Trouble’s first film, so sure — it’s clumsy. It’s awkward. The production values are lacking. It’s shot...
Keep Reading
Courtney Trouble
AnnouncementsGiveaways

It’s Courtney Trouble week!

February 1, 2010
If you don’t know who Courtney Trouble is, you should get on that. Creator of the groundbreaking queer porn site...
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1 2

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Pop Shot: Beer Lube

LELO PicoBong Kiki vibrator (photo by Mandi at EROntric, used with permission)

Review: Kiki

Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.

Review: Tiny Dildos

Me in a motel in 2002, on the bed writing in my journal.

Becoming a real writer

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.

Review: Joque harness

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