Hey Epiphora
Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z

am I being punked?

Legit question, though…

Pipedream Original Peter Piper pipe/dildo hybrid against a psychedelic rainbow background.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Peter Piper and Erotic Cigar

So this is an actual thing. I don’t know why it’s called The Original Peter Piper, because I’m pretty sure the original Peter Piper is the one from 1813 who picked a peck of pickled peppers, not a glass dildo for potheads. But then again, this is from Pipedream,...
Read More
Pleasure... Mitts. Rubbery gloves with spikes all over, because that's hot.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Pleasure/Love Mitts

Do you dream of being the COOLEST LOVER ON THE BLOCK? Do you regularly mistake torture devices for romantic accoutrements? Want...
Read More
BanterDirty Videos

Pornfail: Pussy painting

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for...
Read More
Banner for Jack's Blowjob Lessons site, featuring a cartoon dude with a mullet and shades.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesFeminism's Not a Dirty Word

Jack’s Blowjob Lessons: the scam and the take-down

A while back, I heard rumblings of some misogynistic fool named Jack Hutson emailing bloggers about his $47 blowjob ebook....
Read More
iVibe Massager phone app
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

When asking me to review the iVibe Massager iPhone app, the developer freely admitted to me — and I quote —...
Read More
Two women licking an enormous black butt plug that looks... smudged.
BanterDirty Videos

Pornfail: Mmm, rubber

Girls. I have a serious matter to discuss with you. That rubber thing you are tonguing and eating? It doesn’t...
Read More
Why why why why why why. A double-ended dildo, in which one side is cream-colored, and the other is chocolate-colored.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Interracial Double Dong

Um… Er… How is this even… Why…? So you can express your racial preference… with a friend? No more arguing...
Read More
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesWhine Time

A dude’s solution to the problem of phthalates

Women! Have you been wondering how to avoid that pesky group of chemicals called phthalates that are often used to...
Read More
Missionary Positions (2005)
FeaturesMovie Night

Movie Night: Missionary Positions

Missionary Positions is a documentary from 2005 about a quaint pair of minister dudes, Craig and Mike, who had a...
Read More
Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rock Box

Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I...
Read More
LELO PicoBong Kiki vibrator (photo by Mandi at EROntric, used with permission)
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Kiki

I was going to ignore PicoBong altogether. Although I was initially drawn to the brand because, well, LELO invented it...
Read More
LELO Lyla remote controlled vibrator, lying in the grass in Maui.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Lyla

Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in...
Read More
A lingerie-clad woman holding the Rock 'n' Roll Massager, a leopard-print vibrating make-up case. Essentially.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Rock and Roll Massager

This is all so overwhelming. I want to be clever and make you giggle, but… this website, this product… THERE IS...
Read More
A blister pack of four sample sizes of stimulating creams, called "Me So Horny Cream," "Anal Eaze," "Moist," and "Sure Grip." At least they're sample sizes?
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Make Her Slap You Kit

This is the most epic recipe for failure ever. Pipedream’s Turn Her On Kit: For the perfect encounter. Everything you...
Read More
Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Split Dildo

The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on...
Read More
Nasstoys Ecstasy Rope, which resembles a blue jelly snake with a vibrator attached, with its packaging.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Ecstasy Rope

The Nasstoys Ecstasy Rope is just what you always wanted: a pipe cleaner for your genitals. It is a long...
Read More
Load More
Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

  • All-Time Faves
  • New Here?
  • Sales & Deals
  • Toybox

Blog sponsors

Free Porn Pictures Meo (opens in new tab) JouJou (opens in new tab) Indigo Honey (opens in new tab)
Your ad here
Premium Sex Toys in the Online Adult Toy Store  ·  The Chatline Guide's Sex Chat Phone Lines  ·  SexToyCollective sex toy guides  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Hitachi Magic Wand  ·  Realistic sex dolls and sex toys at joylovedolls.com  ·  live sex cams  ·  Tryst

Where to?

  • Reviews
  • Banter
  • Guides
  • Features

Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

see more

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

The Eroscillator standing proudly on a table, with the Ultra Soft Fingertip attachment (marshmallow) on it.

Review: Eroscillator

Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

Scare-tactic G-spot headlines complete with stock photos of women and feet.

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot

A decade of sex blogging. Cupcake butt plug and Shilo.

A decade of sex blogging

Screenshot of HealthyStrokes.com and its highly questionable sex ed advice.

Thanks for the mansplanation, but I greatly prefer my vibrator

Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results