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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

DVD

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DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Pegging, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging

November 26, 2012
Do you know how many years it’s been since Bend Over Boyfriend? I hate to break it to you (and...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

March 8, 2012
Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex 3: Adrianna's Dangerous Mind, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 3

October 19, 2011
This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body...
Keep Reading
It's exactly what you'd expect. A DVD in the mail in a sleeve.
BanterDirty VideosPornSex Toy Reviews

The Netflix of porn

October 10, 2011
I’m finally at a point where I can shell out the cash for a monthly porn DVD subscription. THIS IS...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex 2, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 2

October 18, 2010
Tristan Taormino has upped the ante. After the greatness that was Rough Sex, she has created a sequel that is...
Keep Reading
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: My Own Master

July 8, 2010
There is something about Kimberly Kane’s brain that I really like. My Own Master, her latest directorial movie, reminds me...
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DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio

March 24, 2010
I’m not big on blowjobs in porn. I don’t hate them, but I’ll usually only watch a couple minutes of...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Billy Castro Does the Mission, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Billy Castro Does the Mission

March 8, 2010
So Billy Castro, hottie extraordinaire of Bordello and Speakeasy, now has his own film. It’s called Billy Castro Does the...
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FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: Alice

February 23, 2010
I don’t even really know the plot of Alice in Wonderland, and yet Erica McLean and Carlos Batts’s upcoming porno...
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DVD cover of Bordello, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bordello

February 8, 2010
This shall excite you: Bordello is basically Clue porn. There is a murder, a selection of murder weapons, and a...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Roulette Berlin, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Berlin

February 7, 2010
Roulette Berlin follows in the footsteps of Roulette Dirty South and the original Roulette; it is a film composed of...
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DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven 2, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven 2

February 6, 2010
I was really impressed by Seven Minutes in Heaven, so I was practically foaming at the mouth to watch Seven Minutes in...
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DVD cover of Roulette Dirty South, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Dirty South

February 5, 2010
Roulette Dirty South is the second installment in Courtney Trouble’s Roulette series, which consists of vignette-style films. Per its name,...
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DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven

February 4, 2010
Billed as the “first ever gonzo queer film,” Seven Minutes in Heaven is a reality porn film that gathers a...
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DVD cover of Speakeasy, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Speakeasy

February 3, 2010
I had high hopes for Speakeasy, Courtney Trouble’s third film, because its premise is incredibly hot: a detective discovers an...
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DVD cover of Nostalgia, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Nostalgia

February 2, 2010
Besides having one of the most kickass porno titles of all time, Nostalgia is porn with purpose: to re-create “Golden...
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1 2 3

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Slice of rainbow pride cake necklaces on a tie-dye fabric

The things we’ve built

A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

LELO Mona Wave rechargeable G-spot vibrator on a rainy cement surface.

Review: Mona Wave

Bubble Love pleasure jet and Dilly dildo attachment on an old boat dock.

Review: Bubble Love

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

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