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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

DVD

A to Z
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
DVD cover of Nostalgia, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Nostalgia

February 2, 2010
Besides having one of the most kickass porno titles of all time, Nostalgia is porn with purpose: to re-create “Golden...
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Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: On My Dirty Knees

April 18, 2009
Eon McKai understands something about porn that many directors don’t: male porn stars can be more than disembodied penises. Of...
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DVD cover of Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex

June 19, 2009
In trying to articulate what makes much of Tristan Taormino’s porn so great, I’ve decided on this: she pushes her...
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PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pussy a Go Go

August 5, 2009
Pussy a Go Go is a fake documentary about a traveling burlesque carnival show — or, rather, the (often sexual)...
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DVD cover of Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex

August 23, 2009
So we’ve already established that rough sex, when directed and shot by genius pornographer Tristan Taormino, is hot as fuck....
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DVD cover of Rough Sex 2, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 2

October 18, 2010
Tristan Taormino has upped the ante. After the greatness that was Rough Sex, she has created a sequel that is...
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DVD cover of Rough Sex 3: Adrianna's Dangerous Mind, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 3

October 19, 2011
This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body...
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DVD cover of Roulette, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette

February 1, 2010
Roulette is Courtney Trouble’s first film, so sure — it’s clumsy. It’s awkward. The production values are lacking. It’s shot...
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DVD cover of Roulette Berlin, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Berlin

February 7, 2010
Roulette Berlin follows in the footsteps of Roulette Dirty South and the original Roulette; it is a film composed of...
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DVD cover of Roulette Dirty South, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Roulette Dirty South

February 5, 2010
Roulette Dirty South is the second installment in Courtney Trouble’s Roulette series, which consists of vignette-style films. Per its name,...
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DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven

February 4, 2010
Billed as the “first ever gonzo queer film,” Seven Minutes in Heaven is a reality porn film that gathers a...
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DVD cover of Seven Minutes in Heaven 2, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven 2

February 6, 2010
I was really impressed by Seven Minutes in Heaven, so I was practically foaming at the mouth to watch Seven Minutes in...
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PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Shifting Gears

March 12, 2009
Genre: BisexualDirector: Chi Chi LaRueLength: 1 hour, 25 minutesCast: Cameron Marshall, Ryan Alexander, Lola, Lee Stephens, Shy Love, Britney Amber,...
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PornSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Skinny Dipped

May 24, 2009
I have a thing for twinks. Luckily, I’m young enough that it’s not yet creepy, but sometimes watching twink porn...
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DVD cover of Speakeasy, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Speakeasy

February 3, 2010
I had high hopes for Speakeasy, Courtney Trouble’s third film, because its premise is incredibly hot: a detective discovers an...
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PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Spring Chickens #21

December 22, 2008
Genre: Mostly straight, vignetteDirector: Gregg AlanLength: 2 hours, 23 minutesCast: Nicole Ray, Brittany Angel, Mickey Graham, Cameron Love, Chayse Evans,...
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1 2 3

Latest posts

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Graphic showing me and Sid from the video, plus a shot of me suctioning skin on my hand, and a photo of the clit pump itself.

Video review: a trans + cis conversation on clit pumps

The Jimmyjane Rumble Seat, a white plastic toilet-looking chair with a grey vibrating bump on top, standing in front of my sex toy closet.

Review: Rumble Seat

Me in a motel in 2002, on the bed writing in my journal.

Becoming a real writer

Lovehoney Flash USB rechargeable vibrator on top of a dictionary, open to the definition of "buzzy."

Review: Flash

Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo

Review: Ceramix No. 4

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