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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer

Why MTV didn’t pick me for True Life: I’m Famous Online, I’ll never know. So I made my own tag. See also #sexbloggerlyfe.

A to Z
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex BloggerTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

December 12, 2010
There is no rulebook for writing sex toy reviews, but any longtime reviewer will tell you that there are definite...
Keep Reading
Holding the key to dildo mansion.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsGuidesTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

November 10, 2014
Most of my summer was spent in the throes of buying a house, an experience that was completely new to...
Keep Reading
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

5 lbs 7 oz of sex toys

July 31, 2009
I have a lot of toys I don’t use. I’ve given a few away to friends, but most of them...
Keep Reading
Sex toys drying on the kitchen counter.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A day in the life of a sex toy reviewer

December 17, 2013
“Glamorous” is not at all a word I would use to describe my life, yet the world continues thinking my...
Keep Reading
A decade of sex blogging. Cupcake butt plug and Shilo.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & RainbowsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A decade of sex blogging

October 12, 2017
The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since...
Keep Reading
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A hint of organization

March 26, 2009
My sex toy collection has been slowly creeping out of the two For Your Nymphomation cases it was in. Many...
Keep Reading
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesMaking ProgressTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A milestone. A huge one.

January 26, 2012
I started this blog 3 years ago with no aspirations. No goals. Not knowing what to tweet about. Not knowing what to...
Keep Reading
Typewriter, cup of pens, and some sex books. The sparkly "Epiphora" drink cozy on the cup was a gift from Bianca (TheVenusEmporium on Etsy). The other side has a vulva on it!
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A sex blogger by any other name

September 3, 2016
I never know my name anymore. A few months ago, I was at sex educator friend’s party getting high out...
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An array of toys lying on a paper towel to dry.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Afterward

March 25, 2011
After a long masturbation session, the kitchen counter usually looks something like this. This was taken in December of 2008,...
Keep Reading
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

All good things must be replaced

July 14, 2009
I knew my Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet would die; it was just a matter of time. It had already outlived...
Keep Reading
BanterBlogger LyfeTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Avatar prototype

March 16, 2010
This is a quick snapshot I took when I came up with the idea for my avatar. I wanted to...
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BanterSex Toy ReviewsStorageToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Best sex toy storage: plastic drawers

September 16, 2010
I think I’ve finally found a method for storing sex toys that works. In March of last year, I wrote...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Boiling day

February 24, 2012
Some dildos change, but boiling day remains the same. Pictured sorta left to right: Phallix Inside-Out Spiral Rib Double Dong,...
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BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Dildo desk takeover

July 21, 2010
A couple days ago, I decided it was time. Time to clean ALL THE THINGS — err, actually organize my sex...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

How does a sex toy reviewer decorate an office?

November 2, 2012
Some people dream of owning several cars or having a swimming pool. I dream of having a sex toy lair....
Keep Reading
A keyboard spelling out "SEX." Because sex blogging = a rearranged keyboard, duh.
BanterBlogger LyfeFeminism's Not a Dirty WordTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

I blog about sex. That is not an invitation.

January 26, 2010
Yes indeed, I run what the general population would call a “sex blog.” I spend my days drafting posts about...
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1 2 3 4

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Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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  • Latest posts
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    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
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