2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got verified on Twitter (a longtime goal, shhhh), and found myself on the cover of SheVibe for a whole dang month. It was a year of new materials, in which my vag finally experienced crystal and porcelain. I gave you a grand tour of my majestic sex toy closet, watched in amazement as a dude fucked his own ass with his own dick and, somewhat accidentally but still hilariously, got stoned via my ass. What a world. This year, I vacationed to Maui with my mom, where I interviewed her about my queer identity, visited the local sex shop, and took photos . . . read more

Vixen has released a peculiar dildo called the VixenAire Mustang. It inflates when you apply pressure to the base. I love my Mustang, but the VixenAire only inflates near the base of the toy, which I find weird??? For ages, I’ve hoped a company aside from Bad Dragon would invent a silicone squirting dildo. It has become so with the Pop! A SQWEEL FOR YOUR DICK. It looks like a torture device, but so do all the Sqweels. Fun Factory’s latest vibes are Lady Bi, a rabbit, and Moody, a curved G-spot/prostate toy with a textured flared base. It comes in orange! Um, yes, my need to rub these vibrators all over my body is strong. These are the new Tenga . . . read more

When SheVibe found the last living neon green Mustang under a low shelf in their warehouse, we had to team up to give it away. And because any dildo pairs well with a nice vibe, we decided the winner would also get a Leaf vibe of their choice. The lucky winner of this pairing is Kara! She chose the Leaf Life (oh hey, I like that one too!) and wrote back: OOOOHHH MY GOD YOU JUST MADE ME DANCE AROUND MY APARTMENT IN JOY! MY DOG ALSO JOINED IN. You are spreading joy and orgasms around the world. Also, I want to extend a slow clap to all of your comments about which discontinued toys (and companies) should come back, and which current toys should be . . . read more

I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the breathtaking sense of wonder and accomplishment I’m feeling.” Unsurprisingly, the email was about squirting. Despite already owning and loving the G-spot god that is the Pure Wand, the letter writer experienced her first ever ejaculation with the unassuming Vixen Creations Mustang. See, I knew it would make a good beginner’s G-spotter! Aside from having the best screen name on earth, That Virgin Who Can’t Drive is also very adept at describing sensation. As it turns out, the Mustang pairs wonderfully with the Leaf Vitality vibrator… Okay, so, I’m still relatively new to toys and your blog has been indispensable in helping me to spend . . . read more

Back in October, we mourned the discontinuation of some of the loveliest neon dildos from Vixen Creations, including the green Mustang and all neon versions of the Maverick. I thought they were all gone forever. BUT THEN this email from SheVibe happened: Dude, you’ll never guess what I found in the warehouse. A GREEN MUSTANG!! It had rolled underneath a low shelf, we don’t even have them on the site anymore. It must be the last living one — wanna do a giveaway? If I do nothing else in my life, at least I can be the person who gives away rare dildos in a color that may never happen again in our lifetimes. The Mustang is one of my all-time favorites: its squishy dual-density . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] 2013 was a good year. I attended CatalystCon East AND CatalystCon West (even doing a panel), hit 500 posts, became a superhero, conducted my most elaborate April Fool’s joke ever, and oh yeah, I was gifted a $1,345 Sybian. I spilled my guts about the horrible sex toys I used to lust after, why I hate pink, and why I think sex toys should not be called “pleasure objects.” I wrote my epic beginner’s guide to sex toy reviewing and gave you a peek into my life as a sex toy reviewer. But most of all, I tried heaps of new sex toys and brought my wrath down upon them. The majority of the stuff I tried this year can be pretty firmly classified as either “really awesome” . . . read more

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own hundreds of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for many years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises. Today, I was on Sex Out Loud Radio telling the universe all about my top sex toy gift ideas — plus my tips for picking out a sex toy for someone else. As an accompaniment, here’s the written version — along with photos of the toys and links to my reviews. Everything you need to get giftin’! [Note: this post . . . read more

I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen Creations are going away. All neon Mavericks, including the tie dye one, are being discontinued, as is the neon green Mustang. I guess we can’t have nice things. That appears to be the only explanation. (I’m sure Vixen would tell you that these weren’t selling well enough, but I won’t listen to reason.) Prior to these hitting the scene, most of Vixen’s dual-density VixSkin dildos were made only in skin tones. Raquel was, for a long time, the only exception — and it was pink. So these neon and tie dye additions were an exciting and welcome change. I know people who are . . . read more

Is there a VixSkin oversaturation point? I now own seven things made out of this dual-density silicone, yet I’m still impressed by its ability to make every shape of dildo better. Fact: VixSkin will spoil you. You will forget what life was like before it. It will eat you out of house and lube, and you won’t even care. The Vixen Creations Buck is no exception. In fact, although the material no longer shocks me with its squishy majesty, Buck is one of my favorite VixSkin dildos yet. I’m talking top three material. After much testing and many orgasms that I didn’t mean to have quite so quickly, I have “discovered” something that simply looking at the fucking toy would tell you . . . read more