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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

silicone

Silicone is the premiere soft body-safe sex toy material. It’s the best because it’s non-porous, odorless, and exceedingly easy to clean. But beware of sex toy packaging claiming a toy is 100% silicone, as it may not be. Only trusted companies such as Tantus, Vixen Creations, LELO, Fun Factory, Je Joue, Jimmyjane, and We-Vibe use pure silicone for all their toys.

Oldest
  • Latest
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  • Random
  • A to Z
Jimmyjane Form 6 vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 6

June 8, 2010
I’ve been dreading writing this review. I’ve been putting it off. I’ve been typing and deleting, trying to form sentences...
Keep Reading
LELO Ina rechargeable vibrator, on top of the "naked people puzzle," as my family calls it
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Ina

June 14, 2010
The LELO Ina is a very divisive toy. Those who love it vehemently love it; others vehemently bemoan its incompatibility with their...
Keep Reading
Vixen Creations VixSkin Johnny realistic dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Johnny

June 20, 2010
I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will...
Keep Reading
Je Joue SaSi oral sex toy.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: SaSi

June 29, 2010
The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Isis

July 16, 2010
The Luxotiq Isis is a bit of a goody-goody. It’s sugary pink in color, with smooth, clean, harmless lines. It...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Talula

August 6, 2010
I have never seen a sex toy angled like Vamp Talula. I mean, this thing is nuts. Just look at it....
Keep Reading
Fun Factory MiniVibe Spring rechargeable silicone vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Spring

August 17, 2010
The Fun Factory MiniVibe Spring is a little pipsqueak of a vibrator in the same family as Fun Factory’s Bubbles,...
Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Outlaw realistic silicone dildo
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Outlaw

September 2, 2010
The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8...
Keep Reading
LELO Siri rechargeable clitoral vibrator
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Siri

September 10, 2010
Siri is a new release from LELO made specifically for clitoral stimulation. Siri is futuristic and adorable, small and perfect for grasping....
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Toyfriends

September 27, 2010
My standards for the Toyfriends were laughably low. I reviewed their predecessors, the Ticklers, and was astonished by with their...
Keep Reading
Wet for Her silicone finger extender
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Two

October 11, 2010
The Wet for Her Two is… um, actually, what is it? Is it a dildo? A sleeve? Should I call it...
Keep Reading
Tantus neon dildos and butt plug
FeaturesSex Toy News

Tantus, your neon colors are killin’ me

October 15, 2010
Yes, this is real life. Awesome silicone sex toy manufacturer Tantus has decided to make a limited run of three...
Keep Reading
Jimmyjane Form 3 rechargeable vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 3

November 15, 2010
Bless Jimmyjane’s little hearts; they really are trying. They’re trying so hard to create innovative toys, but they keep promising...
Keep Reading
LELO Isla on red satin.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Isla

December 9, 2010
The LELO Isla is one of three toys in LELO’s new Insignia line. These toys are characterized by cut-out handles...
Keep Reading
Nexus G-Rider vibrating butt plug
Anal ToysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: G-Rider

December 16, 2010
I’m just going to have to admit defeat with this one. The Nexus G-Rider is too much for my butt....
Keep Reading
Nomi Tang Getaway Wild, LELO Ella, LELO Gigi.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Getaway Wild

December 29, 2010
Those who remember the wrath I unleashed on the Nomi Tang Better than Chocolate may be surprised that I was...
Keep Reading
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

The pinnacle of relief

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

My Celebrator oscillating toothbrush vibrator on a vintage floral patterned surface.

Review: My Celebrator

3D-printed clitoris organ, showing the entire external and internal structure, on a galaxy backdrop.

The clitoris: still the center of my universe

Je Joue SaSi oral sex toy.

Review: SaSi

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