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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is a badass sex educator, author, and pornographer. She created the Chemistry porn series that kinda changed my life, and much more awesome porn.

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  • Latest
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  • A to Z
Microphone in front of a computer, with some pretty red lighting in the back.
AnnouncementsFeaturesInterviews

All the names I dropped on Sex Out Loud radio

April 4, 2014
It occurred to me, 30 minutes after my interview with Tristan Taormino for Sex Out Loud Radio aired today (and...
Keep Reading
Lorax, me, and Queerie Bradshaw showing off our special conference manicures on top of some Tantus stickers.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

I can’t sum up CatalystCon

November 12, 2013
It began in the airport, with my iced coffee in tow, and two war vets grumbling to each other about...
Keep Reading
The Feminist Porn Book lying on top of my suitcase, with the LELO Mona 2 and some business cards.
BooksSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Feminist Porn Book

March 5, 2013
Wedged between my consumption of Fast Food Nation and We Need to Talk About Kevin, I inhaled The Feminist Porn Book. I...
Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Ask PiphGuides

Ask Piph #4

December 31, 2012
How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them?...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Pegging, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging

November 26, 2012
Do you know how many years it’s been since Bend Over Boyfriend? I hate to break it to you (and...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

March 8, 2012
Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original...
Keep Reading
Close-up of my quote in the book, about squirting with the Pure Wand.
BooksSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation

February 9, 2012
It’s not like I needed to read The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation. I discovered my G-spot three...
Keep Reading
Dylan Ryan on top of Danny Wylde on a bed.
BanterDirty VideosFeaturesJack-off JournalPornSex Toy Reviews

5 reasons you need to buy the Dylan + Danny scene on the Smitten Kitten

December 19, 2011
I mean, we all know that Dylan Ryan and Danny Wylde are hot. And that Tristan Taormino has an amazing...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex 3: Adrianna's Dangerous Mind, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 3

October 19, 2011
This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

February 16, 2011
Tristan Taormino does incredibly important work with her Expert Guide series of porn movies. So many “how-to” movies are yawn-inducing, but...
Keep Reading
Pretty girls making out in the backseat of a convertible.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #12

January 24, 2011
October 1st, 2010 WHY WHY WHY WHY: WHY WHY WHY WHY. November 13th, 2010 I took a break from playing...
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Tristan Taormino lecturing at a university. Strangely, the room seems not to have exploded the moment she opened her mouth?
BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

Tristan Taormino and the hypocrisy of OSU

January 20, 2011
Yesterday I woke up to a very sad press release in my inbox. It announced that Tristan Taormino, sex educator...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex 2, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex 2

October 18, 2010
Tristan Taormino has upped the ante. After the greatness that was Rough Sex, she has created a sequel that is...
Keep Reading
Justine Joli and Claire Adams fucking, with rose petals scattered around and on them.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #11

September 23, 2010
August 5th, 2010 Today I watched Justine Joli: Lost with Saraid, which I had been eagerly anticipating. Very quickly realized it...
Keep Reading
Huge puddle of ejaculate on the Throe after using the Beyond 3.
Adventures in SquirtingFeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #6

April 18, 2010
March 4th, 2010 You know what’s hard to watch? An hour and 16 minutes of nothing but cocksucking. But I...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio

March 24, 2010
I’m not big on blowjobs in porn. I don’t hate them, but I’ll usually only watch a couple minutes of...
Keep Reading
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

A decade of sex blogging. Cupcake butt plug and Shilo.

A decade of sex blogging

Magic Banana kegel exerciser and dildo, surrounded by plastic letters from the Bananagrams game spelling out "EMPOWERMENT."

Review: Magic Banana

Nasstoys' Masturbating Glove. It is fingerless, cream-colored, and COVERED IN SPIKES.

Um, No: Masturbating Glove (and everything else Nasstoys makes)

We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

Holding the key to dildo mansion.

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

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