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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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vibrators

All posts tagged “vibrators.” Usually, reviews of vibrators. So there’s a lot here, because my life has been dedicated to vibrators.

Latest
  • Latest
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  • Random
  • A to Z
OhMiBod Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle

September 30, 2014
OhMiBod is commonly known as the sex toy company that makes music- and app-responsive vibrators, but their Lovelife line is a departure, and a valiant...
Keep Reading
Artistic representation winners: Monapoly by SnarkIsRequired, watercolor by Mandi, shadowbox by Coryphelle
Giveaways

The great Mona summer party winners

September 9, 2014
It wouldn’t be enough to call my great Mona summer party giveaway a success. Over 1,000 humans entered via the widget,...
Keep Reading
Giveaway: the great LELO Mona 2 vibrator summer party!
Adventures in SquirtingGiveaways

Giveaway: the great Mona summer party!

August 1, 2014
Put on your sunhats, make your best lemonade, and fill up the pool, because the time has come for the greatest party...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Stronic Drei pulsator outside, on icy cement.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Stronic Zwei and Drei

June 4, 2014
No matter what I say in the rest of this review, the fact will always remain: the Fun Factory Stronics make...
Keep Reading
Tenga Iroha line: Sakura (pink), Midori (green), Yuki (white)
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tenga Iroha Sakura, Midori, and Yuki

May 28, 2014
If you like pushing around the skin on a wrinkly dog, you will love touching the Tenga Iroha vibrators. They...
Keep Reading
The LELO Mona 2 rechargeable vibrator in three colors: purple, red, and cerise (pink), lying on a cream-colored knit fabric.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsSunshine & RainbowsToybox ReportsVibrators

I got back-ups of my favorite vibrator and life is perfect

May 12, 2014
I don’t know if you’ve heard: I love my LELO Mona 2. So much that I yell things like “THE MONA IS...
Keep Reading
Drawing from SheVibe, of a green Mustang dildo trying to find its way in the dark.
Giveaways

Runaway dildo winner!

April 30, 2014
When SheVibe found the last living neon green Mustang under a low shelf in their warehouse, we had to team up to give...
Keep Reading
Drawing from SheVibe, of a green Mustang dildo trying to find its way in the dark.
Giveaways

Giveaway: the runaway dildo

April 11, 2014
Back in October, we mourned the discontinuation of some of the loveliest neon dildos from Vixen Creations, including the green Mustang and all neon...
Keep Reading
LELO Gigi 2 rechargeable G-spot vibrator on a newspaper.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Gigi 2

February 17, 2014
The Gigi used to be one of LELO’s flagship toys. A true fan favorite. The kind of toy people would keep...
Keep Reading
We-Vibe Tango rechargeable bullet vibrator in a wooden bowl full of seashells.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tango

January 21, 2014
Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was...
Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2013

December 31, 2013
2013 was a good year. I attended CatalystCon East AND CatalystCon West (even doing a panel), hit 500 posts, became a superhero, conducted my most elaborate April Fool’s...
Keep Reading
iGino partying with a tequila shot,.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: iGino One

December 27, 2013
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ...
Keep Reading
LELO Smart Wands, black with silver handles, lying on a hardwood floor.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

December 21, 2013
Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any...
Keep Reading
Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, and the tools to dismantle the patriarchy. (Fork and knife.)
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Cupcake

December 19, 2013
This sex toy is everything I hate. Cutesy. Twee. Pink. Girly. Symbolic. I want to chuck it into a river. So why am...
Keep Reading
Revel Body sonic vibrator... plus jump drive and "competitor model."
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Revel Body

December 11, 2013
I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that...
Keep Reading
Hitachi Magic Wand Original and its box, on a hardwood floor.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

December 3, 2013
I finally get the Hitachi. I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a...
Keep Reading
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.

Review: Joque harness

Wobbling Willy, a magenta dildo with a bobble head attached.

What, you don’t want a dildo with your boyfriend’s face on it?

Review: Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System

Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.

Review: Randy

Jimmyjane Little Chroma on top of my blender.

Review: Little Chroma

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