It’s a let-down, but not in the “my clit is screaming” way. Not in the “orgasm seems like an impassable river” way, or even in the “these vibrations feel like death” way. But in the manageably sad way, like your car stereo breaking right before a big road trip. Not apocalyptic, but less than ideal. I expected to love this vibrator, but you know what happens when your hopes are high: they get dashed. The Vibratex Mystic Wand Rechargeable weakens under the weight of comparison. It cannot outshine its competitors or its predecessor. Its shape bears similarities to other sex toys that surpass it; its name sets up promises it cannot keep. It is a “wand” only very loosely, and is in many ways a downgrade from . . . read more

The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, with its robust vibrations and large head, is known as an effective vibrator for all sorts of genital configurations. The release of a rechargeable version was met with much (deserved) fanfare, which only bolstered my desire for more people to experience this fantastic toy. So I reached out to Zinnia Jones, trans activist, writer, sex toy user, and creator of Gender Analysis, to see if she wanted to try it. Zinnia was already a fan of the original Magic Wand, so SheVibe graciously sent her the Magic Wand Rechargeable. She, too, found it a worthy upgrade. Read on for her experience with hormone therapy, masturbation, and the Magic Wand. As a transgender woman, hormonally transitioning meant almost totally revising my understanding of my body’s . . . read more

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most toys, the toy has to be pulled out at the exact right moment, after which the squirt follows. This is especially true with larger toys, or when it’s more of an accidental squirt during a clitoral orgasm — where I’m using a clitoral vibe and stimulating my G-spot, but not trying to ejaculate. There’s a build up of pressure and it feels like removing the dildo is the only way to release it. However, things are different when I’m on a serious squirt mission. . . . read more

Doxy Don (left) and Doxy Die Cast with Nuzzle Tip attachment (right). Put it on my clit. Now. That’s what ran through my head the first time I held the Doxy Don, standing in the hallway at a conference with it reverberating in my hands. I’d never seen or heard about the product in my life, but in a split second I wished it upon my genitals. Although I often make snap judgments about toys, they’re usually negative ones based on stomach-turningly buzzy vibrations. This was the opposite: the vibrations were so deliciously rumbly, so promising. I’d never tried a toy from Doxy before, and I knew The Don had to be my first. But I couldn’t rightfully review only The Don, considering Doxy’s reputation as manufacturers of the much-loved Doxy Massager. Somehow, . . . read more

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more

IS THAT A CORDLESS HITACHI????? —everyone on earth whenever I post a photo of the Magic Wand Rechargeable Yes. Yes, it is. The time has come, my friends. The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, widely regarded as the most powerful vibrator of all time, now comes in a rechargeable version. It can finally be there for you during power outages. While camping. On your porch. In your treehouse. On your top bunk. Or simply when you’re too damn lazy to get up and plug something in. (Me, all the time.) The world has been holding its breath, as have I, because there are many ways this new version could have gone terribly wrong. But release that breath. Let it out. Almost everything went right. This . . . read more

Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any vibrator, but especially not an expensive one in a category of toy which is relied upon for quick, effortless orgasms. These so-called “Smart” Wands… are pretty dumb. You can’t tell from that artsy-ass photo I took, but the medium Smart Wand is about half the size of the large one, at 9″ long and 1.7″ in diameter at the head, versus the large’s 12″ and 2.4″. The large comes in the most enormous LELO box I’ve ever seen. Both come with storage bags, but the medium gets the usual satin, while the large gets an odd neoprene that reminds me of knee pads. Because . . . read more

[Wondering how I feel about the rechargeable version of this toy? I LOVE IT.] I finally get the Hitachi. I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a place of understanding with the bumbling, imprecise beast that is the Hitachi Magic Wand. Perhaps that is how it was meant to be. But there should be laws forbidding newbie reviewers from trying it. I received my first one a mere month after launching my blog, and I ended my almost-entirely-useless review with, “I know eventually I will sing your praises just as everyone else has. I just need time.” Swayed, for sure, by the guise of sugarcoating, it was a sentence that, five years later — and . . . read more

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30% cheaper than the Mystic Wand and virtually the same! Nailed it!” But you would not, in fact, have nailed it. The second time I went to try the Mini Magic Wand, I actually said out loud, “oh, I have to use that fucking piece of shit again.” Nobody was in the room. Just a cat snoozing on my desk. The Mini Magic Wand takes four AAs, the same type and number as the Mystic Wand, yet it uses them for evil. Loud and obnoxious and incredibly buzzy evil. Also, the batteries must be inserted into a stupid plastic contraption that . . . read more