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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

rechargeable

Many of the best vibrators are rechargeable. As in, they come with a cord you plug into the wall. Companies that make rechargeables include LELO, Fun Factory, Je Joue, Jimmyjane, and We-Vibe.

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We-Vibe Rave rechargeable app-compatible G-spot vibrator on a reflective table.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Rave

November 18, 2016
It was 10:15 am, just a bit before I needed to leave for work, when the We-Vibe Rave arrived in the...
Keep Reading
Artistic representation winners: Monapoly by SnarkIsRequired, watercolor by Mandi, shadowbox by Coryphelle
Giveaways

The great Mona summer party winners

September 9, 2014
It wouldn’t be enough to call my great Mona summer party giveaway a success. Over 1,000 humans entered via the widget,...
Keep Reading
Jimmyjane Form 3 rechargeable vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 3

November 15, 2010
Bless Jimmyjane’s little hearts; they really are trying. They’re trying so hard to create innovative toys, but they keep promising...
Keep Reading
Jopen Key Comet II Wand (bottom) with Comet G Wand in the snow.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Comet II Wand

April 19, 2014
Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. “It effortlessly strokes the...
Keep Reading
Tickler Toyfriend Smooth Operators Classy, Choosy, and Snazzy embedded in the snow, with little bits of grass poking out.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Smooth Operators (Snazzy, Choosy, and Classy)

February 28, 2018
Blink and you might pass right over them. They’re not terribly attractive, not revolutionary in function, not aggressively marketed. These...
Keep Reading
LELO Mona Wave rechargeable G-spot vibrator on a rainy cement surface.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Mona Wave

January 26, 2015
The LELO Mona Wave feels like being fingered by someone who is absent-mindedly planning out the toppings on the pizza they’re...
Keep Reading
Xtassie Cocomini vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Cocomini

February 9, 2010
There are a lot of vibrators in the world, but few that charge via USB. That’s why I wanted the...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

April 8, 2010
It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way,...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mimi

September 11, 2011
Everyone’s coming out with a cute little rechargeable clitoral stimulator these days. Jimmyjane released the Form 2 and Form 3;...
Keep Reading
LELO Bo cock ring
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bo

January 20, 2009
Sheets of rain were coming down outside. It was about 7:30 p.m., completely dark, and I assumed it was too...
Keep Reading
LELO Gigi rechargeable G-spot vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Gigi

January 31, 2009
Recently, I’ve been caught up in a passionate love and squirting affair with Ella, LELO’s pure silicone double-ended dildo with...
Keep Reading
LELO Smart Wands, black with silver handles, lying on a hardwood floor.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

December 21, 2013
Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mia

December 20, 2008
Here is who I am: I got very excited when I received a 2GB jumpdrive as a gift. I anxiously...
Keep Reading
Topco U Touch Side vibrator.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: U Touch Side

July 30, 2013
I’m offended by Topco’s U Touch line. I wasn’t, at first — I was legitimately intrigued and even somewhat optimistic...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System

March 3, 2010
The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is all about pomp and bravado. It has a...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Stronic G

November 19, 2017
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a...
Keep Reading
1 2 3 4 … 7

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Review: Rider

Fun Factory Bi Stronic Fusion pulsator on an ornate rug.

Review: Bi Stronic Fusion

A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

BlissMe vibrators: Mr. Cowboy, Mr. U.K., Mr. Right, Mr. Badboy, and Mr. C.E.O

Um, No: BlissMe vibrators with… personalities

My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.

The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

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