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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

rechargeable

Many of the best vibrators are rechargeable. As in, they come with a cord you plug into the wall. Companies that make rechargeables include LELO, Fun Factory, Je Joue, Jimmyjane, and We-Vibe.

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  • A to Z
Wake-up Vibe on a pillow case patterned with breakfast foods.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Wake-Up Vibe

November 5, 2013
The premise alone led me to the Wake-Up Vibe. And the premise drove me away. I only tried it a handful...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Goddess Platinum Massager

February 8, 2009
I am ever on the lookout for any toy that resembles the love of my life, the Xtreme Pack G-spot...
Keep Reading
Revel Body sonic vibrator... plus jump drive and "competitor model."
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Revel Body

December 11, 2013
I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that...
Keep Reading
Those wild 'n' free cords you see? For my Kindle and iPod. The sex toy cords are wrapped up nicely.
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Sex toy storage: chargers and lube edition

July 19, 2012
Rechargeable sex toys can free people from the burden of clunky batteries, but there’s one side effect that kinda sucks:...
Keep Reading
LELO Lyla remote controlled vibrator, lying in the grass in Maui.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Lyla

December 28, 2011
Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in...
Keep Reading
We-Vibe Gala on a bookshelf.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Gala

March 20, 2018
My clit is a pretty sensitive creature. You’re going to need to know this going in. Take notes for the...
Keep Reading
Clandestine Devices Mimic vibrator on an ancient-looking egg scale. The cons outweigh the pros.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Anatomy of a negative sex toy review (or: the Mimic)

November 12, 2017
You’re mid-masturbation and you’ve forgotten what it’s like for orgasm to feel achievable. You’re doing everything right, theoretically: the vibrator’s...
Keep Reading
Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

May 26, 2015
IS THAT A CORDLESS HITACHI????? —everyone on earth whenever I post a photo of the Magic Wand Rechargeable Yes. Yes,...
Keep Reading
We-Vibe Tango rechargeable bullet vibrator in a wooden bowl full of seashells.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tango

January 21, 2014
Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was...
Keep Reading
LELO Siri 2 vibrator on top of a bunch of sun-bleached rocks.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Siri 2

May 21, 2016
FINALLY. Fucking finally. I’ve been waiting years for LELO to upgrade their humble little clit vibe, Siri. While they were...
Keep Reading
Screaming O Charged Vooom and Positive rechargeable bullet vibrators on top of a pile of colorful lined notepads.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Charged Positive and Vooom

April 28, 2017
Screaming O is not a high-end sex toy company, or at least they didn’t used to be. They’re more known...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System

March 3, 2010
The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is all about pomp and bravado. It has a...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mia

December 20, 2008
Here is who I am: I got very excited when I received a 2GB jumpdrive as a gift. I anxiously...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Soraya

July 6, 2011
The world of luxury rabbit vibes is not an expansive one. Fun Factory has some with varying degrees of success;...
Keep Reading
Person holding the Fun Factory Stronic Eins in front of a curtain.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: Stronic Eins

November 14, 2012
I like thrusting, if you haven’t noticed, so I am drawn to this new majig from Fun Factory. The Stronic Eins, or...
Keep Reading
LELO Sona "sonic" air flow vibrator on a flower-patterned plate.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementSex Toy Reviews

Review: Sona Cruise

November 13, 2018
You could almost hear the collective groan from the entire sex toy industry when LELO announced the Sona. After an...
Keep Reading
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Bubble Love pleasure jet and Dilly dildo attachment on an old boat dock.

Review: Bubble Love

Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

We-Vibe Wish rechargeable clitoral vibrator on a small table, next to a clock and necklace.

Review: Wish

iGino partying with a tequila shot,.

Review: iGino One

My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.

The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

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