Hey Epiphora
Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z

thick boi

Chunky, beefy toys to fill you up.

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsGuidesHi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy ReviewsSunshine & RainbowsVibrators

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that’s looked like a sort of survivalist...
Read More
BMS Factory Swan Curve vibrator leaning against the Swan Wand, with Mini Swan Wand in foreground, in a kiddie pool.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Swan Wand, Mini Swan Wand + Swan Curve

When I hear the word “swan,” I think of a few things. Grace. Elegance. The color white. Bjork. Overwrought symbols...
Read More
Hole Punch Toys Ass Cram Cone, Plugs Bunny, and Crotch Rocket standing on a wood pile in front of a pale blue house.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Hole Punch Toys

There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone...
Read More
Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon large glass dildo on rough cement.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: G-Spoon

I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake. The dildo comes, of course,...
Read More
Vixen Creations Buck dildo with a bunch of bananas. Accordingly, the dildo has a Chiquita sticker on it that says NATURAL NUTRITION.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Buck

Is there a VixSkin oversaturation point? I now own seven things made out of this dual-density silicone, yet I’m still...
Read More
Fun Factory Big Boss G5 rechargeable vibrator on a wooden table.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Big Boss G5

The Fun Factory Big Boss is seriously orange. Across the room, day-glo, Manic Panic, atomic, toxic waste orange. Of course,...
Read More
Good Vibes Rippler dildo on concrete.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rippler

The Pleasure Works Rippler is like what the Tantus Echo wants to be when it grows up. It is a...
Read More
njoy Eleven stainless steel dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Eleven

I don’t normally have sexual dreams, but I’ve had dreams about the njoy Eleven. They were always incredible jack-off sessions...
Read More
Uberrime Helios Sun God and Splendid silicone dildos standing on a table, casting a reflection.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Uberrime dildos (Splendid + Helios Sun God)

When I was but a wee sex toy reviewer, every new sex toy material was a treat. Not yet jaded...
Read More
New York Toy Collective Carter silicone dildo on a nightstand, next to a golden lamp base and a floral tea cup.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Carter

I squirt every time I use the New York Toy Collective Carter. Movement or not. No matter the external vibe....
Read More
Downunder Toys on a platter, left to right: Koala Kiss, Hot Banana Rod, Mr. H Rod (dual-density), Classic Hot Rod, Mr. H Rod (single-density)
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Downunder Toys

Contrary to popular belief, I can be sweet-talked. Start by sending me a nice, gracious email. Acknowledge the work I do in...
Read More
NobEssence Seduction in Padauk wood, lying out in the sun.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Seduction

It’s been three years since I reviewed the NobEssence Seduction (oh my god, I’m OLD), and in that time, my...
Read More
Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsGuidesMaking ProgressTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

A few weeks ago, I dusted the literal dust off a 2″-thick hunk of stainless steel, put on some porn,...
Read More
Tantus Cush O2 on a wooden table.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Cush O2

One night, as I was preparing to jack off, I decided I had to have the Tantus Cush O2. I...
Read More
Vixen Creations Outlaw realistic silicone dildo
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Outlaw

The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8...
Read More
Vixen Creations VixSkin Johnny realistic dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Johnny

I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will...
Read More
Load More
Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

  • All-Time Faves
  • New Here?
  • Sales & Deals
  • Toybox

Blog sponsors

Free Porn Pictures Meo (opens in new tab) JouJou (opens in new tab) Indigo Honey (opens in new tab)
Your ad here
Premium Sex Toys in the Online Adult Toy Store  ·  The Chatline Guide's Sex Chat Phone Lines  ·  SexToyCollective sex toy guides  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Hitachi Magic Wand  ·  Realistic sex dolls and sex toys at joylovedolls.com  ·  live sex cams  ·  Tryst

Where to?

  • Reviews
  • Banter
  • Guides
  • Features

Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

see more

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

LELO Pino... a cock ring "exclusively for bankers"

Um, No: Pino

Liberator Fascinator Shag Throe close-up, with droplets of water all over it.

Review: Fascinator Shag Throw

We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

njoy Pure Plugs (medium and large) in a jewelry box with a bunch of gaudy bracelets and rings.

Review: Pure Plugs

Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.

Review: Afterglow

Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results