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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

SheVibe


Looking for an incredible deal? SheVibe is the place for you! Their prices are ridic and they carry a ton of good stuff, including more obscure sex toy brands. Visit my landing page for all my favorite toys in one place.

(P.S. I’ve hung out with the peeps behind SheVibe and they’re all badasses. I mean, THEY TURNED ME INTO A SUPERHERO.)

A to Z
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
4-year blogiversary giveaway sex toy prizes
Giveaways

4-year blogiversary giveaway winners

October 29, 2012
Wow. I’m about 99% certain my 4-year blogiversary giveaway was the most successful giveaway in the history of this blog....
Keep Reading
The peeps behind SheVibe
FeaturesInterviews

5 reasons why SheVibe rocks (and you should shop there)

March 11, 2014
It’s no secret that SheVibe is my favorite online sex shop. Launched in 2006, they are perhaps best known for...
Keep Reading
Gift cards to SheVibe, Early to Bed, Babeland, and MyPleasuure
Giveaways

Blogiversary giveaway: celebrating 200 reviews with 600 bucks!

October 6, 2011
Oh snap, my friends! This week is my 3-year blogging anniversary, and I’ve hit 200 reviews written! I wrote 35 reviews...
Keep Reading
Ophoria Beyond 3 dildo on a wooden floor.
FeaturesSex Toy News

Get an Ophoria Beyond 3 before it’s too late

August 30, 2012
I guess I’m an old geezer, because I remember when Ophoria was the brand new sex toy company on the...
Keep Reading
ALL GREEN sex toys! YES!
Giveaways

Giveaway: Green sex toys for everyone!

February 28, 2011
I’ve never been a big participator in St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t go out and get wasted on Irish Car...
Keep Reading
Drawing from SheVibe, of a green Mustang dildo trying to find its way in the dark.
Giveaways

Giveaway: the runaway dildo

April 11, 2014
Back in October, we mourned the discontinuation of some of the loveliest neon dildos from Vixen Creations, including the green Mustang and all neon...
Keep Reading
Woodgasm sex toy giveaway: wooden sex toys all lined up.
Giveaways

Giveaway: Woodgasm

June 6, 2010
Wooden sex toy manufacturer NobEssence makes some of the most beautiful — and expensive — sex toys out there. And...
Keep Reading
DILDOS A-FLYING next to me as a superhero, with my sidekick cats Truth and Sweet Justice.
AnnouncementsBanterSunshine & Rainbows

How I became a dildo-wielding superhero

July 15, 2013
I have arrived. Really, truly. The folks at SheVibe made me into a superhero. I didn’t ask them for this....
Keep Reading
Penetralia Number 66, Number 28, Number 23, Number 33
Giveaways

Penetralia wooden toy winner

July 8, 2012
Thank you all for making my Penetralia giveaway a rousing success! I’m so thrilled to be the first one to...
Keep Reading
Piph Lube
April Fool's!

Piph Lube: get it now!

March 31, 2018
Feels like I’ve been waiting forever to tell you this and I’m nearly bursting at the seams. So I’m just...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Boosty butt plug on a striped black and white fabric.
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Boosty

March 5, 2016
When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of...
Keep Reading
HELLO MY SWEET. The Comet G Wand lying on a colorful striped platter.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Comet G Wand

February 20, 2013
It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I...
Keep Reading
Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon large glass dildo on rough cement.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: G-Spoon

May 17, 2014
I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake. The dildo comes, of course,...
Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Jellyfish

December 26, 2011
The Jellyfish is a magical sea creature. Yes, I just wrote that sentence. And I’m keeping it. Because despite the fact that...
Keep Reading
Magic Banana kegel exerciser and dildo, surrounded by plastic letters from the Bananagrams game spelling out "EMPOWERMENT."
DildosGreatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy Reviews

Review: Magic Banana

February 5, 2014
Have you ever looked at a jump rope, bike lock, thighmaster, or lasso and thought, “oh hey, I bet that’d be...
Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Mustang

October 3, 2011
Oh my god. This thing. You guys. This thing. It is SO GLORIOUS. It’s been nearly a year and a...
Keep Reading
1 2 3

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Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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