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worth every damn penny

The cream of the crop, the best of the best. Toys I’d buy again in a heartbeat if something bad ever happened to them.

The LELO Mona 2 rechargeable vibrator in three colors: purple, red, and cerise (pink), lying on a cream-colored knit fabric.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mona 2

It’s kind of ridiculous how much I like my LELO Mona 2. Fuck it, love. It just feels weird to...
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DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Mustang

Oh my god. This thing. You guys. This thing. It is SO GLORIOUS. It’s been nearly a year and a...
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njoy Pure Wand stainless steel G-spot dildo on a painting of the ocean waves.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?DildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

My love, the Pure Wand (+ a few tips!)

You have come here wondering if the njoy Pure Wand is deserving of its legendary status. If this parenthesis-shaped pound...
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California Exotics Turbo Glider
BanterHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibrators

Love letter to the Turbo Glider

Dearest Turbo Glider, Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things...
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Ophoria Beyond 3 dildo on a wooden floor.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Beyond 3

I have tried many dildos that hit my G-spot with varying degrees of accuracy and sensation. Some stimulate it very...
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Me holding the mighty Eroscillator, with the pillowy marshmallow attachment.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGuest ReviewsVibrators

Guest Review: Eroscillator

I’m not surprised that my insanely extensive and enthusiastic review of the Eroscillator resulted in several of my readers lusting...
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Wahl All-Body Massager vibrator
Adventures in SquirtingHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Wahl

The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent...
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Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.
Greatest HitsHarnessesHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Joque harness

In many ways, the glory of the Spareparts Hardwear Joque lies in what it is not. It’s not a re-hashing...
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njoy Pure Plugs (medium and large) in a jewelry box with a bunch of gaudy bracelets and rings.
Anal ToysGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pure Plugs

I could’ve written a review for the njoy Pure Plugs before ever putting a single one in my ass. Of...
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All hail the Vibratex Mystic Wand! On a desk next to a cute container of colorful sharpie pens.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mystic Wand

The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right....
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Vixen Creations VixSkin Johnny realistic dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Johnny

I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will...
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Limited edition tie dye Maverick. My first one was a flesh tone.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Maverick

I used to be frightened of realistic dildos. The flesh tones, the veins, the balls — all of it. It...
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Jollies / LuzArte Jollet polka dot silicone dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Jollet

The Jollies / LuzArte Jollet: it looks so simple, but there is virtually no other dildo like it. And not just...
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Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes

There will be squirting, tons of it — onto faces, asses, assholes, sheets. There will be spitting, punching, smothering, choking....
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Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Randy

Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.”...
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The Eroscillator standing proudly on a table, with the Ultra Soft Fingertip attachment (marshmallow) on it.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Eroscillator

You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Review: OhMiBod

BlissMe vibrators: Mr. Cowboy, Mr. U.K., Mr. Right, Mr. Badboy, and Mr. C.E.O

Um, No: BlissMe vibrators with… personalities

iVibe Massager phone app

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

The pinnacle of relief

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