Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!”

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

BMS Factory Pillow Talk Sassy rechargeable G-spot vibrator lying on some soft grey fur.
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Review: Sassy

I have some big news I’ve been dying to share. No, no, I’m not pregnant. Not getting married. Moving? Uh, why would I leave a city where I can get legal weed and open-air vulvas in my face at the strip club?! Nah, it’s more mundane than any of that. And yet, it isn’t. Not for a person like me. I have a new favorite vibrator. You know I don’t say that lightly. Vibrator, singular, as though there can only […]... Keep Reading

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Revel Body sonic vibrator... plus jump drive and "competitor model."

Review: Revel Body

I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that so audaciously attempted to convince... Keep Reading

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.