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Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!”

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

Announcements

Are you my next Dildo Butler?

I am seeking a conscientious, sex-positive individual to fill the role of Dildo Butler. This is a highly unique live-out position that requires professionalism, discretion, and an exceptionally open-minded attitude. To be successful in this role you must, above all, possess a respectful demeanor that does not waver in the presence of sexual activity. If you can’t watch porn with a friend without feeling embarrassed, this is not the job for you. The role of Dildo Butler is a multi-faceted […]... Keep Reading

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.