Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

Epiphora's sex toy Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales and deals!
GOBBLE GOBBLE, peeps. This is it: my annual list of the best sex toy deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, I suggest getting it now. Discounts like these don’t happen on such a grand, sweeping scale at any other time of the year. Best of all? You can stay in your pajamas! In fact, I ENCOURAGE IT! As always, I have many exclusive codes […]... Keep Reading

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Minn kGoal kegel exerciser vibrator and my Android phone
Recently my girlfriend admitted that, while fingering me, they wondered, is it possible to break someone’s fingers with a vagina? So I’m being up front... Keep Reading
Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.
I wish the entirety of this review could just be the word no. Not even repeated for emphasis, not even in all caps. Just a single,... Keep Reading
Revel Body sonic vibrator... plus jump drive and "competitor model."
I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that so audaciously attempted to convince... Keep Reading
Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.
I feel bad for celebrities. You’ll never hear me say that again. But they got the Afterglow in their goodie bags at the Oscars, and this is not what... Keep Reading