We were falling in love with the ease of fucking our friends.

Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.
Today I’m releasing exclusive tapes from last month’s masturbatory adventures. These are my intimate audio notes from out in the field — 31 days of squirting, porn-ogling, blogging, and all manner of indecent sex acts. Think of it as an aural captain’s log, or a very unusual podcast. It’s like This American Life, but with orgasms. These recordings take you inside my... Keep Reading
Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that’s looked like a sort of survivalist hedonism. I’ve been reaching for comfort sex toys, proven winners, rather than toys I’m indifferent toward or feel obligated to test. This is what I call “recreational masturbation,” and I need it. It’s my middle finger to capitalism — and a love... Keep Reading

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.
I feel bad for celebrities. You’ll never hear me say that again. But they got the Afterglow in their goodie bags at the Oscars, and this is not what... Keep Reading
The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used to strengthen the pelvic floor... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Wish rechargeable clitoral vibrator on a small table, next to a clock and necklace.
There’s a common piece of sex advice, an old sex educator adage usually aimed at people wanting to please vulvas: “consistency is key, especially when... Keep Reading
iGino partying with a tequila shot,.
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ... Keep Reading

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.