Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!”

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

November 25, 2020

GOBBLE GOBBLE, peeps. This is it: my annual list of the best sex toy deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, I suggest getting it now. Discounts like these don’t happen on such a grand, sweeping scale at any other time of the year. Best of all? You can stay in your pajamas! In fact, I ENCOURAGE IT! As always, I have many exclusive codes […]... Keep Reading

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Hi, I love you Sex Toy Reviews Vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

November 15, 2020

Sometimes companies surprise you. When Dame hit the scene with their zealously-crowdfunded initial effort, the “hands-free” labia-clinging Eva, I pegged them as a company that would focus more on (heterosexual)... Keep Reading

Giveaways

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

November 1, 2020

Somehow it’s November already, and with it comes the conclusion of my sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse giveaway. Will the actual apocalypse happen this week? Who knows! We’ll... Keep Reading

Giveaways

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

October 9, 2020

2020 is not the year we ordered. We’ve spent almost 7 months in quarantine, and now we’re heading into a precarious election that may lead to the collapse of society... Keep Reading

"The Industry"Banter Shenanigans Sunshine & Rainbows True Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

September 25, 2020

Fun Factory has been a trailblazer in the sex toy industry since their inception. They utilized silicone from the get-go, never trifling with inferior materials. Their designs weren’t cookie-cutter or... Keep Reading

My favorite lube? Sliquid anything

Doxy Don and Doxy Die Cast on a desk. The Nuzzle Tip attachment is on the Doxy Die Cast's head.

Review: Doxy Massager (Die Cast) and The Don

Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

Liberator Fascinator Shag Throe close-up, with droplets of water all over it.

Review: Fascinator Shag Throe

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

see all my favorites

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

Joy Finger, a vibrator with a bandaid-colored human-like finger-shaped sleeve on the end.

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.