Feb 022016
 

Special deal! Get 10% off and free shipping at Downunder Toys with code EPIPHORA.

Downunder Toys, left to right: Koala Kiss, Hot Banana Rod, Mr. H Rod (dual-density), Classic Hot Rod, Mr. H Rod (single-density)Contrary to popular belief, I can be sweet-talked.

Start by sending me a nice, gracious email. Acknowledge the work I do in the world (“your honest approach to this field makes my heart sing,” “I’m still laughing over your LELO Hula Beads review”). Introduce yourself without condescending to me (hint: if you’re a sex toy company, I probably already know that you exist). Then… the cherry on top… the pièce de résistance… drop a sentence like this:

I really think I’d like to challenge your love of VixSkin — I know, a bold claim, but hey, if you don’t set a challenge, where’s the fun in life?

So, full disclosure: I was already loving Downunder Toys before the founder, JD, sent me a box of stuff. Then I saw the generosity in the box, and I was even more wowed. Plus, I love Aussies. One of my best friends is Australian.

Downunder Toys has been designing and manufacturing 100% silicone sex toys in Australia for a mind-boggling 20 years. They make whimsical designs like the Koala Kiss and Pretty Kitty, as well as colorful Hitachi replacement heads and their own dual-density dildos. In years past, their toys were more readily available in the U.S., but the wholesale cost became too great.1

The company strikes me as a humble one: although they are not very well-known outside of Australia, they keep churning out unique, body-safe, handmade products. Customers are their bread and butter vegemite, and they care more about how something feels than how they could market it. They’d rather hear a fair dinkum “I hated the shape of that” than a half-hearted “it was fine.”

Downunder Toys are imperfect — they have air bubbles, indents, and slightly off-kilter bases. Some are named Girl and Boy, which is just weird. Swarms of nubs make me uncomfortable, so I have no desire to try the Joyberry or Rollerball Ring. And I don’t like the way the Honey Bunny looks at me.

But dual-density dildos? SIGN ME UP. Downunder’s dual-density toys are called Hot Rods. They’re squishier than Tantus’ O2 toys and feel similar to Vixen’s VixSkin toys except for one thing: you know how VixSkin is tacky and tries to adhere to your hand when you touch it? None of the Hot Rods have that “feature.” Ace.

I tried three dual-density dildos (Mr. H Rod, Hot Banana Rod, and Classic Hot Rod), one single-density dildo (Mr. H Rod), and one koala-shaped sex toy. Because #australia.

Mr. H Rod ($99, Aussie sky, dual-density)
Mr. H Rod (purple, single-density)

Downunder Toys, left to right: Hot Banana Rod, Koala Kiss, Mr. H Rod (dual-density), Mr. H Rod (single-density), Classic Hot RodNever before have I been given the opportunity to try the same toy in both single- and dual-density, so I can now confirm a longstanding conviction: dual-density is bonza. The abundant veinage (yes, I’m making that a word) on the single-density Mr. H Rod verges on abrasive; while in the dual-density version, there’s enough cushion to subdue the veins, but not so much that they vanish in use.

The smallest of the group at 1.4″ in diameter and 5.5″ insertable, my vag might normally scoff at a dildo like this, but the veins save it from ridicule. It’s rare to find a silicone dildo with heaps of raised texture, and I’m into it. What I’m not into is the teeny weeny head. My G-spot feels neglected when I use this toy, even if my vaginal walls enjoy it.

Hot Banana Rod ($129, blue violet)

I don’t know how they did it,2 but this toy has the most lovely, glossy surface I have potentially ever felt on a dildo. For months I’ve labored over how to convey it and keep coming back to half-cooked descriptors like “shiny latex balloon” and “slimy… in a good way.” It’s like Tantus’ glossy finish, but with even less resistance, and it’s fucking beaut.

In use, this translates to a luscious glide against my vaginal walls — it almost feels like it has silicone lube on it. Switching to the Hot Banana Rod after using toys with more drag (which is basically every other toy) is like sliding into a bed with pristine satin sheets: a refreshing effortlessness.

Downunder Toys, left to right: Koala Kiss, Hot Banana Rod, Classic Hot Rod, Mr. H Rod (single-density), Mr. H Rod (dual-density)But a few minutes into using this dildo, its lack of definition becomes an issue. There’s no perceptible texture and no pronounced head — nothing to stimulate my nerve endings, to grab my G-spot, to sweeten the deal. If it had a big ol’ head and a few popping veins, oh man, we’d be in business.

But alas, I become bored.

 

Classic Hot Rod ($129-159, black)

Of all the dildos, this one looks the most like a donger. 1.75″ in diameter and meticulously decorated with veins and tiny skin-like etches, it’s like a less intimidating version of Outlaw — but still satisfyingly meaty. I clench around it and feel full as a goog.

Also, I love the triangular base on both this one and the Hot Banana Rod. It quickly orients me to the dildo’s position with just a glance.

But the Classic Hot Rod is too straight, its matte finish eats lube, and it has a divot under the head that doesn’t agree with my body. I had the same problem with the Tantus Vamp: the divot catches and pops clumsily over my pubic bone. I’m not gonna spit the dummy or anything, but it does sour the experience a little. To avoid that distracting sensation, I stick to short thrusts or static clenching.

Koala Kiss ($149)

Downunder Toys, left to right: Classic Hot Rod, Hot Banana Rod, Mr. H Rod (dual-density), Mr. H Rod (single-density), Koala KissFile this under sentences I never thought I’d say: “That koala-shaped sex toy actually isn’t too bad.” I spend a lot of time side-eyeing dual vibes, but this one… somehow… kinda works. The koala’s head is so big it extends far enough to reach my clit, especially if I bend the shaft. As a pinpoint stimulation lover, I like the way I can wedge the koala’s ear into the side of my clit.

That is a sentence that should maybe never be taken out of context.

The Koala Kiss is powered by a re-branded Impulse Ultra 7 Bullet lodged in the base. The bulllet is no slouch — its vibrations transmit into the koala nicely. I can get off with it, which is more than I thought I’d be able to say, but a steadfast lack of G-spot stimulation from the torpedo-shaped shaft makes the Koala Kiss something I’d never use past the review period.

However, if you look closely you can see claw marks where the koala is grasping at the “tree.” I honestly can’t get over that.

———

All in all, this is an admirable selection of dildos. I 100% do not regret having orgasms with any of them inside me. I’m a little devo I didn’t love love any of them, but that’s a common phenomenon with me and insertable toys. Each dildo has something I enjoy about it… and something missing.

If you see a Downunder Toys design that appeals to you, by all means, give it a go. These are not shonky products. They are well-made and solid, from a company built on the premise that people deserve non-toxic sex toys.3 Although the toys seem spendy, remember that Australian dollars have a significantly lower value than U.S. dollars (seriously, my friend told me the small size of Sliquid is ~$30 there). Their products are also handmade by folks who are paid a living wage.

As for JD challenging my love of VixSkin, here’s the problem: although the dual-density squish is comparable, none of the shapes combine all my favorite dong elements the way toys like the Buck and Mustang do. What I really need here is an amalgam dildo. Can I just cobble together the texture from the Mr. H Rod, the finish and curve of the Hot Banana Rod, and the girth and pronounced head of the Classic Hot Rod into one disturbingly-perfect dildo?

Also… can I tack a koala on the end of it?

Get free shipping and 10% off at Downunder Toys with code EPIPHORA.

Free shipping and 10% off at Downunder Toys with code EPIPHORA

  1. On the horizon is mechanized production, with the hope of cutting production costs enough to distribute the product at a competitive price in the U.S. market. []
  2. Well, JD told me that the finish comes from the original model, chosen depending on what they think will work per product. “Hot Banana Rod is a stylised product and we wanted it to be slick during use, especially with lube,” she said. “Slide factor is good.” []
  3. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? They’re like the Tantus of Australia. []
  • Lia Heavvymetalqueen

    I read the whole review in a thick Aussie accent in my head and it was a treat

    also, vibrating koala!! I like it!

  • Dandemort

    Bizarre as this is, it’s almost more economical for me as a Canadian to order from Oz than it is from the USA. Do you know if the company themselves or maybe an Australian distributor ships to Canada? I’ve been eyeing some Aussie stuff for a while. Love that detail on the Koala on its own!

  • Lunabelle

    Color me intrigued…dual density realistics in lots of non-flesh shades! And I laughed at your conclusion about the ideal Frankendildo, because I was having similar thoughts as I read and checked out the pictures. Seriously, that big Classic Hot Rod with veins and a curve would be juuust right!

  • I’m loving the photos with your new camera! And the detail on that koala dildo is rad. 🙂

  • Cassandra

    I think it’d actually be really cool if there was a way for companies to make custom dildos like that…maybe you should start up a company that does that if you ever decide you don’t want to blog about toys anymore XD (though you could probably do them both at the same time)

  • Joan Price

    JD is marvelous — I had the pleasure of meeting her in Australia and going home with a box of goodies. She’s passionate about pleasure — our pleasure.

  • AceDenise

    I love that there are dual density silicone dildos available with so many lovely, non-flesh color options. The only colors for non-realistic VixSkin right now are Raquel (meh, pink) and the tie-bright Mustang (one day you will be mine, oh yes, you WILL be mine!). It’s great to see more choices. I will have to try all of these myself eventually. Not because I am obsessed with sex toys or anything… but for, uh, science! Thank you for the wonderful review, and for your delightful use of Aussie-isms!

    And everything is better with koalas. #fact

  • Sounds like a fantastic brand! I wish we’d ever heard of them. I’d love to see a breakdown one day of dual density vs. plain overall, since the former is still a very exclusive item.
    Also, that poor, lucky Koala.

  • Yes, Downunder ships to Canada!

  • Tzipora

    Oh man, so much conflict. You have heard my rants about how I hate realistic and also pretty sure after I got my Mustang I had to have left a comment about how my vagina had never ever been happier. So when I spied ORANGE as a color option I speed read your review hoping you’d be straight out in love. Because damn do I want orange dual density!

    I don’t have anywhere near your Dildo experience. I own maybe close to 20 now and have had exposure to maybe ten others tops. But so far my only dual density experiences are Mustang and the Tantus Cush. The shapes of these are usually what I end up going for but I think that the head on Mustang is part of what rocks my world so argggh. I just don’t know. Even have two Aussie friends who occasionally send me stuff so I could save on shipping probably (imagine this, friend wants to send me the Lego character her son wants me to have or other friend sent me a AUS Rolling Stone with a Stevie Nicks cover, and I chime in with “would you mind shipping me a dildo with that? I’ll pay for it and even partial shipping but just trying to save some money and hey you want any sex toys because I can hook you up in return?” I’d so do that.) Haven’t checked the shipping anyway but hmmm… Something to keep an eye out for and consider for sure.

    Since I speed read, I apologize if I missed it but beyond the shape/texture issues, are these as soft and squishy as Vixskin? If so then I think I’m gonna have to get one eventually for sure. It’s the squishy softness I so need more of in my life and in my vagina dang it.

  • Yes, they are as soft and squishy as VixSkin! The biggest difference is in the various finishes on the silicone.

  • Tzipora

    Ooh! How’s that work as far as lube? Wait, just reread. Damn, that sounds perfect. Vixskin already was kinda magical for me, ate up lube but even being on the drier end of the spectrum, it seems like once I get going, my natural wetness and the Vixskin work pretty well but then I’ve only got the Mustang. Was just talking with a couple on Reddit who got their first Vixskin, a bigger model and they were asking about lube. So may have to pass this option along and ooh now I’m conflicted. One of your other readers gave me the heads up that they recently contacted Vixen and scored one of the few remaining Tiebright Mavericks and I was highly considering seeing if I could score one too… But hmm, the Hot Rod in a fun color might be a nice in-between step from Mustang to Maverick…

    Well, I think I just justified the need for two new dildos. Your blog is dangerous!

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