I squirt every time I use the New York Toy Collective Carter. Movement or not. No matter the external vibe. Whatever my mood. If clitoral stimulation makes me come while the Carter is inside me, I gush. I’ll be just hanging out, about to have a completely ordinary orgasm or so it seems, when I feel the pressure building, urging me to slide the dildo out. Sure enough: an expulsion of fluid follows. It hardly ever feels like I’ve earned it, yet it happens, consistently as the sun rising and setting each day. Sneak-attack squirting. And oh, with movement? With actual thrusting? Then I’m ejaculating even more, soaking through the towel on my desk chair. Carter is a meaty dude. . . . read more

Special deal! Get 10% off and free shipping at Downunder Toys with code EPIPHORA. Contrary to popular belief, I can be sweet-talked. Start by sending me a nice, gracious email. Acknowledge the work I do in the world (“your honest approach to this field makes my heart sing,” “I’m still laughing over your LELO Hula Beads review”). Introduce yourself without condescending to me (hint: if you’re a sex toy company, I probably already know that you exist). Then… the cherry on top… the pièce de résistance… drop a sentence like this: I really think I’d like to challenge your love of VixSkin — I know, a bold claim, but hey, if you don’t set a challenge, where’s the fun in life? So, full disclosure: I . . . read more

If you like pushing around the skin on a wrinkly dog, you will love touching the Tenga Iroha vibrators. They feel spongy, like marshmallows, with enough give on the outer layer that you can push it around like dog skin. They’re really addicting to touch, but that criteria would only matter if I were reviewing a set of stress balls. These are sex toys, and as sex toys, they perform adequately. I’d give them a passing grade, maybe a C+ or B-. But I’d also give them some stern suggestions for improvement and hope that they try harder next time. The Iroha line is Tenga’s first attempt at making vibrators; they’ve always only made toys for penises. These vibes are unique because the outer layer is . . . read more

I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the breathtaking sense of wonder and accomplishment I’m feeling.” Unsurprisingly, the email was about squirting. Despite already owning and loving the G-spot god that is the Pure Wand, the letter writer experienced her first ever ejaculation with the unassuming Vixen Creations Mustang. See, I knew it would make a good beginner’s G-spotter! Aside from having the best screen name on earth, That Virgin Who Can’t Drive is also very adept at describing sensation. As it turns out, the Mustang pairs wonderfully with the Leaf Vitality vibrator… Okay, so, I’m still relatively new to toys and your blog has been indispensable in helping me to spend . . . read more

I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen Creations are going away. All neon Mavericks, including the tie dye one, are being discontinued, as is the neon green Mustang. I guess we can’t have nice things. That appears to be the only explanation. (I’m sure Vixen would tell you that these weren’t selling well enough, but I won’t listen to reason.) Prior to these hitting the scene, most of Vixen’s dual-density VixSkin dildos were made only in skin tones. Raquel was, for a long time, the only exception — and it was pink. So these neon and tie dye additions were an exciting and welcome change. I know people who are . . . read more

Is there a VixSkin oversaturation point? I now own seven things made out of this dual-density silicone, yet I’m still impressed by its ability to make every shape of dildo better. Fact: VixSkin will spoil you. You will forget what life was like before it. It will eat you out of house and lube, and you won’t even care. The Vixen Creations Buck is no exception. In fact, although the material no longer shocks me with its squishy majesty, Buck is one of my favorite VixSkin dildos yet. I’m talking top three material. After much testing and many orgasms that I didn’t mean to have quite so quickly, I have “discovered” something that simply looking at the fucking toy would tell you . . . read more

So I’m pretty sure my neon and tie dye VixSkin giveaway has been my most successful giveaway to date. AND WHY WOULDN’T IT BE? WHO WOULDN’T WANT NEON AND TIE DYE DILDOS? Take notice, world. People like things that are not pastel pink! Anyway, the winner I’ve randomly selected is Maggie Munkee, who chose a tie dye Maverick. Freaking congrats! HUGE THANKS again to Searah of Early to Bed for understanding my fervor and supplying this incredible prize!

So after screaming “IS THIS REAL LIFE???” and recovering from my initial heart attack when I heard about these new toys yesterday, I knew my next mission: get one into the hands of one of my readers, STAT. I could not just announce the existence of these dildos without giving one away. Thank goodness Searah of Early to Bed, who emailed to alert me of this development, was totally on board. She’s a boss. For years, I’ve been complaining — and people have been complaining to me — that Vixen’s VixSkin dildos only come in skin tones (the one exception being Raquel). And you know how I personally feel about neon colors and Vixen’s dual-density VixSkin material. WELL HERE THEY ARE, COMBINED INTO AN EXPLOSION OF AWESOMENESS. Vixen . . . read more

One night, as I was preparing to jack off, I decided I had to have the Tantus Cush O2. I tore through my drawers but I couldn’t find it, which only increased my fervor. As I stalked the halls wailing “there are only so many places it could be!”, I remembered that I had packed it for a recent trip and never unpacked it. Wave of relief! Eerily, a friend had an urge for her Cush on the exact same night, while a second friend was also having trouble locating their Cush. I think this demonstrates two points: one, the Cush is one stealthy mofo, and two, there is something about the Cush that draws people it. Something that gives us tunnel . . . read more