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Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

Ask Piph logo, with a Pure Wand in the middle.
Adventures in SquirtingAsk PiphGuides

Ask Piph #6: Pure Wand edition

Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t...
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Dildos among the smorgasbord, at a party.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

When sex bloggers party

...with a bag of peas for her crotch. Each of us reports our favorite setting on the Sybian — or as Kynan calls them, our “sleep numbers”: https://twitter.com/ArchVixen/status/416821347738599424 Yes, we get naked, but that’s only because we Skype Lorax in from their atomic green bathtub, drinking an entire bottle of...
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The Sybian... and packing materials.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerVibrators

Today in my life… a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

In this episode of True Life: I’m a Sex Toy Reviewer, I am in disbelief as I unbox this sex machine,...
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Limited edition tie dye Maverick. My first one was a flesh tone.
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Discontinuation alert: Vixen neon dildos

I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen...
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BanterBlogger LyfeGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Will Write for Dildos: How and Why Companies and Reviewers Should Work Together

For those of you who were unable to attend CatalystCon last weekend, I’m making the panel I was on, “Will...
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My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsWhine Time

The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

I hate pink. Always have. Based on pure shudder-factor, my aversion to pink ranks somewhere below my trypophobia but above my distaste...
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DILDOS A-FLYING next to me as a superhero, with my sidekick cats Truth and Sweet Justice.
AnnouncementsBanterSunshine & Rainbows

How I became a dildo-wielding superhero

I have arrived. Really, truly. The folks at SheVibe made me into a superhero. I didn’t ask them for this....
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Dildology logo, a magnifying glass inspecting a dildo.
"The Industry"Banter

Once and for all: what’s in our sex toys?

Everyone knows regulation in the sex toy industry is practically nonexistent, right? We all accept that as fact. We have...
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Whipspider Rubberworks Tentacle dildo
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Want a fantastical dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn or tentacle? This is your last chance. [Edit, years later:...
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Sex toys drying on the kitchen counter.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A day in the life of a sex toy reviewer

...to be added to my sales and deals page. I place banners on the page and add some text about which toys I recommend people buy. I remember that I cringe every time I link to my Mia 2 review (because I spent a lot of time complaining about the...
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Lorax, me, and Queerie Bradshaw showing off our special conference manicures on top of some Tantus stickers.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

I can’t sum up CatalystCon

It began in the airport, with my iced coffee in tow, and two war vets grumbling to each other about...
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That cat is totally enthused about the dildos surrounding him. That's his enthusiasm face.
BanterSunshine & Rainbows

The best birthday presents

Today, I am 27. I have come to expect very little from people over the years, but Ashley Manta took...
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"The Art of Defamation" by Santi Slade. A drawing of a tongue being restrained by a chain.
BanterBlogger LyfeDisingenuous AssholesFeaturesGuidesInterviewsSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Can online reviewers be sued for defamation?

It’s a simple but horrifying question. Are we, as reviewers, protected from companies that may not like what we have...
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Bendable Vertebrae vibrators: colorful, worm-like vibrators in strange positions... because they have SPINES.
"The Industry"BanterGreatest HitsToybox Reports

Terrible sex toys I used to lust after

In 2007 when I started reviewing sex toys, I knew nothing about them. Oh, I knew that jelly was bad in theory,...
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"500" made out of vibrators and dildos. CRAFTY.
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesMaking Progress

Five hundred

This is the 500th post on this here blog. I felt like it needed some sort of commemoration, so I...
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CatalystCon swag bag. Apparently Wet makes a lube called Uranus.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

The amazing things that happened at CatalystCon

IT’S ALREADY OVER. Who’s surprised, though, really? Catalyst was bound to go by in the blink of an eye. Even...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Where to?

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

see more

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

Screenshot from the now-defunct Teddy Love crowdfunding video, of a woman touching a teddy bear's nose.

Um, No: Teddy Love

The simplehuman Sensor Pump on my nightstand, squirting lube onto my Pure Wand.

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

Nasstoys' Masturbating Glove. It is fingerless, cream-colored, and COVERED IN SPIKES.

Um, No: Masturbating Glove (and everything else Nasstoys makes)

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