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Banter

Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

Welcome to my life. Sex toys all around, a laptop, measuring tape, coffee, batteries...
BanterBlogger LyfeGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Epiphora’s beginner’s guide to sex toy reviewing and blogging

So you wanna become a sex toy reviewer. I know, it sounds so glamorous and enticing. Packages bursting with free...
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Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsGuidesMaking ProgressTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

A few weeks ago, I dusted the literal dust off a 2″-thick hunk of stainless steel, put on some porn,...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

How does a sex toy reviewer decorate an office?

Some people dream of owning several cars or having a swimming pool. I dream of having a sex toy lair....
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Fleshlight sample, Tantus dildos, Vixen silicone sample, PicoBong die
BanterToybox Reports

Mini sex toy doodads!

I think I can call this a legit collection now. Back in April, after jealously ogling everyone’s photos of the...
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Fun Factory vibrators looking just cute and blameless.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesWhine Time

So vibrators are disempowering now?

Now that Hysteria’s come out, everyone has an opinion about vibrators. Many of which I ignore. But I had not...
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BanterDirty Videos

Pornfail: Pussy painting

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for...
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BanterBreak Out the TissuesMaking Progress

To tell the truth

If you had asked me years ago if I was ever going to tell my parents about my blog, I...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Boiling day

Some dildos change, but boiling day remains the same. Pictured sorta left to right: Phallix Inside-Out Spiral Rib Double Dong,...
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Yep. I definitely made a graphic of sex toy magnetic poetry. What, you don't like "erotic objects" or "love aids"?
"The Industry"BanterDon't Trust the Headlines

What should we call sex toys?

While the rest of the world was chomping on chips and gluing their unblinking eyes to a TV on Superbowl...
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My desk, covered in messy used dildos and vibrators, with a bottle of lube in the foreground.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

This will be your life.

Look, I get it. You think this is a picture of a FUN FUN SUPER FUN night. I know —...
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Pills spilled on an orange surface.
BanterGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The 2 weeks of my sex life I lost to Zoloft

My doctor was mildly amused when I told her that I run a sex toy review blog. “Some people experience...
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Those wild 'n' free cords you see? For my Kindle and iPod. The sex toy cords are wrapped up nicely.
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Sex toy storage: chargers and lube edition

Rechargeable sex toys can free people from the burden of clunky batteries, but there’s one side effect that kinda sucks:...
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BanterBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsMaking Progress

The pinnacle of relief

I got my chance to tell my parents about my work sooner than I expected. They invited me over for...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Soaked-through paper towels

Sometimes I wait an embarrassingly long time to clean my sex toys. But that’s the beauty of non-porous toys — they clean...
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Adventures in SquirtingHi, I love youPositioning etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Décor Fascinator Throw

The Liberator Décor Fascinator Throw is my third Liberator Throw. That tells you a lot, right there. I now have...
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BanterDirty VideosDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the Headlines

The latest threat to our daughters: James Deen, a respectful porn star

BREAKING NEWS, everyone. LISTEN CLOSELY, especially if you are raising innocent little girls. I’ve just learned that James Deen, my/your favorite...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Where to?

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

LELO Pino... a cock ring "exclusively for bankers"

Um, No: Pino

Me in my Princessa video review

Video review: Princessa

LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.

Review: Ida

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Jimmyjane Little Chroma on top of my blender.

Review: Little Chroma

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