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The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

More thought should be put into a sex toy’s color than, “well, this is a toy for women, so pink is perfect. Right, guys?”

My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.
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I hate pink. Always have. Based on pure shudder-factor, my aversion to pink ranks somewhere below my trypophobia but above my distaste for whiskey and the word “panties.”

When I mention the color, I do little to conceal my disgust. I sigh about its inevitability and express mock-excitement over it. My hate is documented, understood. This color snobbery helps me curate my sex toy collection. By always mercilessly begging firmly asking for the color I want, I’ve managed to avoid a lot of pink stuff. But the pink toys I do own — I look at them and feel regret.

There are two big reasons why I hate pink: it’s aesthetically ugly, and I abhor its connotations. Perhaps I find it ugly because of its connotations, but nonetheless, I don’t enjoy looking at it. Hot pink, Pepto Bismol pink, magenta… all of it.

Much of my hatred stems from the societal assumption that because I am a woman, I must adore pink. That my one dream is for all of my possessions to be pink, including my car, my alcohol, and especially my electronics. That slapping pink on anything equals INSTANT GIRLY UPGRADE, and we all want to be girly — right, ladies?!

Pink is consistently used to represent incompetence, materialism, vapidity, punishment, and general obsession with frivolous things. It’s often used to brand things as “for women,” which inevitably means a dumbed-down, shittier version of the original product.1 Apparently, women are not half the population, but rather a one-dimensional sub-group with special pink needs for our silly little brains. I mean, thankfully they invented pens for us, otherwise I’d still be writing things in my menstrual blood.

When I was a kid, I got annoyed when people bought me Barbies; it demonstrated that the gift-giver didn’t know anything about me. That’s what the color pink represents to sex toy manufacturers: the obvious choice. The default.

So it’s no surprise that pink runs rampant in the sex toy industry. Take this vibrators section: there are roughly 1800 pink toys listed. Purple is very close behind. Then there’s a huge gap before blue (800), black (575), red (360), white (360), and so on. Green, yellow, teal, and orange (the best colors ever, just quietly) are devastatingly underrepresented.

When I was a kid, I got annoyed when people bought me Barbies. A gift of anything Barbie just demonstrated that the gift-giver didn’t know much anything about me. I feel like that’s what the color pink represents to many sex toy manufacturers: the obvious choice. The safe choice. The default.

Maybe I shouldn’t feel patronized, exactly, by the existence of pink sex toys, but… I do. More thought should be put into a sex toy’s color than, “well, this is a toy for women, so pink is perfect. Right, guys?” I imagine a lot of mansplaining goes on in sex toy company boardrooms. And mansplaining does not make me horny.

Tweet: "Every sex toy must be pink!!! If it is not pink, it will not sell!!! All the ladies love the pink!!! It doesn't need to make sense!!!"

Like, I really don’t give a fuck if your “sales numbers” tell you women like pink. Because I don’t trust your “sales numbers.” They are based on shitty selection in the first place — pinks and purples. Give us no real choices and you’ll only fulfill your own prophecy.

This epidemic just makes me want to throw up. It’s fucking everywhere and never seems to end.

It’s a sex toy shaped like a goddamn banana, yet someone decided that pink was more appropriate than yellow.

It’s leopard print tinted pink, like no actual animal.

It’s a toy with pink accents and the tagline “What Women Want.”

It’s entire sex toy product lines awash in pink.

It’s the “choice” between pink and purple, or toys that come in pink and pinker.

It’s a company hyping its product with the product tester quote “I can feel the pink!

It’s constant infantilization.

It’s lube named Pink that looks like a perfume bottle, lube with pink packaging because it’s “for women,” and lube that is LITERALLY pink for NO GOOD REASON.

It’s identical nipple clamps that, when pink, are called “Nipplettes,” and when black, are called “Colt Grips.” It’s “For Him” and “For Her” vibrators. “Male” and “female” attachments.

It’s pink spilling further, into fairiesbutterfliesheartscupcakesrosesand more roses.

It’s reviewers reinforcing this shit again and again and again and again.

It’s visiting a sex toy shop and feeling like you’ve stepped into the little girls’ section of the department store.

To be clear, I will not refuse an otherwise delicious-looking toy just because it’s pink. However, if I’m on the fence about requesting a toy for review and it only comes in pink, I will probably shun it. If, instead, it comes in green (especially lime green!), yellowwhiteblackturquoise, or orange, I’ll err on the side of yes.

But oh, heads will roll if you send me a pink sex toy when I have asked for whichever-other-color-is-available. Sometimes it doesn’t matter — the Better than Chocolate still sucked, after all, and oh yeah, so did the Form 6 — but I can’t exactly guarantee that my opinion of a toy won’t be influenced by its unfortunate color. I am not the queen of objectivity.

I know that some people out there actually like pink and find it aesthetically pleasing. I cannot fault them, but I’ll never understand them. The thought of liking pink is just incomprehensible to me. At night, alone with just my dildos and my thoughts, I comfort myself by remembering that pink doesn’t truly exist.

  1. Let’s not even talk about the co-opting of “breast cancer pink” and how horrible that is.

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  1. While I do sometimes like pink I also hate how it is used to automatically make things “for women”. I just hate the assumption that 1) all women love pink, though really I hate assumptions and generalizations about gender anyway. 2) Men can’t be interested in something because we have made it pink for women. I think that there are plenty of people who like pink, or at least don’t dislike it. I would personally not reject a toy because it was pink, though I also generally prefer other colors. I totally think there should be more awesome options for toy colors like turquoise lime green, and orange, but I don’t think that means pink needs to be shunned from the list either I do agree though that the pink=for women and feminine idea needs to go, like 10 years ago.

  2. I feel your pain. When I was a little girl, my mother did MY WHOLE EFFING ROOM in pink. The walls, curtains, carpet, bedding… it was all varying shades of obnoxious pink. And I was a tomboy so, you can guess how I felt about it.

    I used to tell her I hated pink and when she would ask me why, I couldn’t quite put into words at that young age (I really don’t think I can now either). The best way I could explain how I was feeling about the color pink and therefore being in my room was that “it gives me a headache.”

    These days, I still don’t care for pink but then I’m not surrounded by it either. Color matters to me very little when it comes to my sex toys. If I have a choice other than pink, I’ll get the other color. But a lot of the time when choosing something for review, I just tell them to pick whatever color they want.

  3. Same. I dithered for a while, trying to decide which color I wanted for the Stronic and ultimately opted for the pink because a) the pink is so insanely bright that it almost seems red and b) given the choice between a bright color and matte eggplant purple, I’ll opt for the electric eye-gouging.

  4. Most of my collection is purple, and given the choice, I’ll always choose purple or black. I’m intellectually offended by the default pink and its presumptions, but by and large, I actually like the color.

  5. I am not a fan of pink either, I do own some pink stuff but it is not by choice. Sometimes we can’t help what we get either.

  6. I’m happy I was spared a pink avalanche as a kid (my mom did up my room in white and green, even when I was a baby). I don’t hate pink (I do hate its marketing connotations), but it is still pretty much always my last color choice when it comes to toys. My favorites remain blue, green, turquoise (Tantus’ peacock color AAAAH), and red.

    My exceptions to the rule are shades that are more orange than pink (like coral, which I suspect has something to do with my being a Floridian) and insanely bright shades (like the Stronic), but I still only choose these if I like no other available color.

    Honestly, as much as I love them, this is part of the reason I don’t shop online at Babeland – limited color options. Often, when I find a product I want on there, it’s only available in pink or purple – including products that I KNOW come in other colors (ex: the Ina 2 and Comet G are both only available in purple at Why buy purple at Babeland when I can have turquoise or orange or green at SheVibe? I find it frustrating because Babeland is such an otherwise amazing store.

    On a related note: I just bought the Echo during Tantus’ Grab Bag blow out last week and can’t wait to see the mystery color. This post has racheted up my already existing worry that it might be pink, haha.

  7. Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Trypophobia. It has a name. WHY DID I GOOGLE?! D:

    Also, I don’t care that much for pink either way, but purple? Seething hatred.

  8. I actually love pink and it’s one of my favourite colours… but I still really hate the whole ‘pink is for girls (and not for boys)’ thing, and I’m sick of not getting enough colour choices not just on sex toys but on all kinds of things. If I have a nice variety of colours to choose from I’ll often choose pink as chances are I’ll like it best, but if pink is my only option I’ll grumble about it even though it’s probably what I’d have picked anyway. And if the only options are pink or blue I’ll often pick blue just to be contrary! Sometimes I wish pink wasn’t my favourite colour, but well, it just is. I don’t like it because I’m a girl, I like it because I like it!

  9. Bring on the “Colt Grips” baby!

    I prefer blue. I would like a sky blue to cobalt to midnight blue monotone “rainbow” of sex toys.

  10. Pink is okay for me. I guess I’m so used to it and purple being the default colors available, I’ve just accepted it. Unfortunately because the market is so over saturated with the color, I have been known to get a toy solely based on the fact that it comes in green, yellow, blue, etc.

    If given the option, I’ll choose blue/teal/turquoise/yellow over pink or purple every time.

  11. Personally, I loathe the ubiquity of pink as the only or one of the few options because it suggests to me that the designers haven’t realized that there are men with vulvas. I’m not super anti-pink as a color itself, but as a trans person I kind of don’t want to give the people who misgender me any extra ammunition, you know?

  12. It’s really unfortunate how this logic can go both ways, isn’t it? I’m a huge, huge, huge fan of pink — interestingly enough,when I was younger I shunned it like crazy, but now in my early adulthood it’s probably my favourite colour in the entire world, and I’m pretty sure that if I could I would turn my house into your worst nightmare and have everything be pink. But the sheer bullshittery I have been told when I have expressed my love for pink is ridiculous, as if liking it somehow makes me a shallow, frivolous and moronic child (and weirdly enough, often by other women who think they’re being cool and edgy by judging me for what colours I like).

    I couldn’t even begin to blame anybody for hating it just for the connotations of the colour alone. If I loved it any less I’d probably just give up on it entirely for how sick of it one can get after seeing it everywhere all the time, on everything, like some sort of desperate marketing attempt. It’s like the old cartoon trick of slapping a bow on an otherwise gender neutral character to prove that LOOK, THIS, IS IN FACT A FEMALE!

    Retching noises, etc

  13. I loved pink as a child but can’t stand it now. Perhaps I need to start asking for different colours. I keep getting sent pink toys, but I feel kind of bad about complaining because I feel I’m lucky to receive all of these products for free. It’s not so bad when I’m not particularly fond of a toy, just when it becomes a favourite and I have to see its pinkness all of the time!

  14. I hate to say purple is my favourite colour– or that I like pink, when it’s with black (eg, that line of pink on the bswish bcurious looks really sharp to me). That being said, I like having options, and I like owning a variety. I certainly don’t like being locked into pink, and I 100% hate pepto bismol pink, give me a colour with some zazz.

  15. I always hesitate to weigh in on these types of rants. On the one hand, genderizing colors if stupid. The lack of variety is frustrating — although, it probably makes more sense to use default colors for manufacturers, I don’t see why it has to be pink. And the pastel pinks that I see? I hate them.

    On the other hand, the deep and medium pinks I love — like the first three in your photo. Love them. Want to roll around in fuzzy pink furs or something. So I lucked out because pink is default and I like half of all pinks. If yellow or orange were the default colors, I would probably not be a sex toy reviewer. Seriously. So I understand the frustration but count myself lucky.

  16. There is no shame in my love of pink, just like there is no shame in the fact that I shoved a Baby Jesus in my ass or Diving Nun in my vag. I’ve loved pink since I was a kid. It registered with me… then again, I was also the kid that wanted to be a ballerina just so I could wear a tutu, and had a bad habit of stuffing pink Barbie shoes up my nose until they got stuck (my shoe fetish started early). I think most people just have an aversion to some shades and a love of others. Mine is pink, likely always will be.

  17. I’ve seriously considered reupholstering the inside of my njoy boxes with a different colored fabric.

  18. I am simply beside myself that Vixen, in their infinite (non)wisdom, have continued to ONLY make Raquel in pink. I fucking love that toy but I can’t really love it because UGH. I’m seriously tempted to get together enough folk who would want an ecto-green Raquel just to beg and plead for a custom batch to be poured. Especially now that they make Mustang and Maverick in ecto-green. Why the fuck not?

    I’m with you 100% about the skewed numbers- if all you give people to choose from is pink and purple, obviously they will sell well. Or even pink, purple, or black. Sometimes people do want a colour which feels softer, but pink isn’t the only thing in that realm y0! Not to mention the FUCKING IDENTICAL toys like Tantus’ p-spot vibe and g-spot vibe, which are the same gddamn mould and everything, just the “his” is black and “hers” is pink. Thefuq is that business.

    At one point in my life, not long ago, I thought that because of my relationship dynamic, that I had to start liking pink. I even got a custom batch of pink rope. I still use this rope, because at workshops no one else has this colour so it’s easy to keep track of, but ugh I hate it so much now. I look at it and it doesn’t make me want to play, it makes me uncomfortable.

  19. Not to mention bullshit like the repackaging of Fun Factory’s kegel exercisers, which they did up into pink boxes AND slapped a big ol’ “for women only” on there too. Thefuq.

  20. I got the purple, because it’s so dark that it’s almost black, and it reminds me of a lipstick shade I wore the everliving fuck out of in my cookie-cutter goth days. But then I’ll pick black/almost black/gray over nearly anything save for hunter green, ecto-green, or glow, so…

  21. First of all, if I would have been drinking tea while reading the title of the post, I’m sure it would have made me spew it all over myself. Just sayin.

    I also think that it’s wrong for manufacturers to think that you’re a woman, so you MUST love pink, right? No. It’s as “logical” (sarcasm) as that you’d say every man must adore the color blue. As I recommend sex toys to others as a service, I find that not pink is the favorite shade.. but purple. And there should be way more teal toys! And lime green ones.

    “The obvious choice. The safe choice. The default.” This made me absolutely shudder. What is wrong with taking some risk, manufacturers?!

  22. Preach it! It sucks that my favourite vibrators (Jopen VR6/VR3, Whooper and Black Swan in Europe) are pink or purple. Thankfully the Swan version is one of the more tasteful pinks, and with them as the only ones I can handle it in light of all the greens and blues and oranges in my toybox. But I too find this trend mega annoying. Sex toy manufacturers, the rainbow does NOT end with pink, I guarantee it.

  23. CORRECTION: Whoops, that’s the SILVER Swan, not Black. Just for clarities sake.

    Bummer it’s not really silver. That would rock.

  24. As a male (although technically I will soon be transgender) I adore pink sex toys. This doesn’t affect any other area of my life, just the sex toys.

  25. Lol, you should see the massive airbubbles in my Tantus Rascal. It’s on the underside of the base, granted, but that is like the dildo of your nightmares then.

  26. I understand that pink is a viable color choice, but it’s just that. A viable color choice, and one among many. WHY IS IT THE DEFAULT? It’s more than a little insulting. I don’t mind pink being a color. I hate it being THE color.

    Oh, and when I saw the pink car kit you linked to? I almost flipping lost it. English doesn’t have a word for the particular type of rage I felt.

  27. I think I’m going to start calling this color “Minus Green” because – while my favorite color is purple – I’m not a fan of pink and like green a lot more.

  28. Reading this anti-pink post reminded me of a story from a long time ago (1985) and a land far far away (Dallas to be exact). My then wife and I were shopping for sex toys. These were dark days for sex toys: most stores were sleazy and toys were limited. We found one vibrator that she liked but it was only offered in that pink/yellowish/beige color that was supposed to make it look like a caucasian penis. My ex HATED this color. She didn’t hate it with as much vigor as you hate pink, but she hated it for similar reasons including the fact that some corporate wonk was making a decision for her. In a classic exhibition of Guy-Think (in which a guy tries to apply his way of thinking as the only logical conclusion) I said “Well, you like the shape and length and the feel, what does the color matter?” Now I was a young man and ignorant in the ways of the world but I learned a valuable lesson right then. My ex looked at me with an expression that said “Tell me again why I married you?” She ended up putting that vibrator back and walking out of the store without making a purchase.

    Thinking back on that experience, and reading your post I was hit with this realization: A vagina may be color blind, but a woman isn’t. A simple thought to be sure, but one that sex toy companies would do well to remember.

  29. I’m always astounded at work when I show people the color options for a toy and they can’t decide on one because they’re just indifferent. They’ll say stuff like, “eh, it won’t matter when I’m using it,” and I’m just like, UM, YES IT DOES. IT ALWAYS MATTERS.

  30. My personal collection has so many colours! I didn’t quite planned this way, but while choosing the toys for MissX I would order an extra one for myself usually in a different colour just to see if it was ugly the way the sales person (wholesaler) was describing. She did guarantee that the other colours didn’t sell and that I HAD to stock pink and purple, no matter what. If I wanted a break maybe a bit of black, but not much. I’ve got to say that having an orange toy didn’t appeal to me at first and I thought it was a very weird colour when I saw it, but now I am so glad I can put the toys together and have a rainbow! How boring it would be to have only 50 shades of pink!!! Even if you love pink (and I do!) you wouldn’t buy all your clothes, shoes and handbags in pink, right? So why it needs to be like this with sex toys?

    Oh.. and BTW the awesome green and orange toys that I was talking about have been discontinued. They are now only available in a horrible baby pale pink 🙁

  31. This, this, a hundred times this!

    I like pink (admittedly brights over pastels always) but the “default to pink because vaginas” makes me stabby. It’s so insulting. It makes me feel like someone is patting me on my head and steering me towards a fainting couch.

  32. I remember being in middle school and composing a song set to the tune of Aaron Carter’s I Want Candy, except it was called I Hate Pink. My friend at the time came up with the lyrics (I hate pink/Pink is Stupid/Red and blue are/So much better), I mostly just provided the doo-be-doops in the background.
    The only thing that’s really changed since then is my taste in music.

  33. Shaming someone because of color preferences is kind of weird to me, too. I’d find it really jarring if someone came into my house and was all OMG LIME GREEN EVERYWHERE YOU FREAK.

  34. We hadn’t thought of it this way — but we hear ya!

    One thing that we can get behind no matter the color or packaging: birth control. See our video the dispels birth control myths — there’s a little bit of pink, but other colors too:

  35. As least in the box of my pure wand, I don’t think the fabric is actually attached to anything – it’s just a piece of polyester satin they’ve tucked under the polystyrene to keep it in place. You could probably just buy some cheapy satin in a different colour and replace it in like 5 minutes.

  36. I used to despise pink. When I read in a book from the Anne of Green Gables series that Anne Shirley’s favourite colour was pink, and not, say, green, I nearly began to cry because /how could she fall for that/. When I was a child and pink things were shoved in my face, I instinctively rejected it all, and grew to resent it. After all, it’s true; things specially marketed to women are always pink and always of less quality (but almost always pricier). The feminist in me hated the very sight of it wherever I went.

    But then I understood that hating a colour because of dumbass marketing strategies can be just as counterproductive as falling for it. The thing I had always been after wasn’t for pink to disappear, but to be given a CHOICE. I wanted the CHOICE between pink or green or orange or black, between monster trucks and dress-up PC games, between the stereotypical image of “girly” and the stereotypical image of “boyish” and everything in-between.

    Pink, for a lot of women and girls and female-bodied people, signifies the lack of choice we got. The toys in fast food joints catering to the stereotypes of the gender binary weren’t ours to choose. Just like frills and dresses were forced on us, pink was everywhere and upsettingly unavoidable.

    But I love pink now — hot pink especially. I can find power in it, I use it as armour. “I can wear whatever colour I please, it doesn’t matter what genitalia I have! I like pink!”

    I don’t want to loathe a colour because Western views latched onto pink being effeminate and ran with it to extremes. I want to loathe the people responsible for continuing this outdated, sexist ritual. I don’t want things to be labelled “for girls/for boys” anymore. I don’t want pink and blue to be associated with gender binary, with femininity and masculinity. I want to be able to like pink and not feel guilty, and I want people to be able to dislike pink and not for the history associated with it.

    Pink can be awesome. If we can make it so it isn’t forced down the throats of little girls that liking pink is some kind of requirement as proof you’re a girl, then maybe it’ll be easier for people to be able to just make the choice whether they want pink or not.

  37. I like anything that is eye-assaultingly vibrant. If it kind of burns your eyes to even look at it, I’ll probably like it no matter the hue. I personally think that people put too much emphasis on pink, both for and against. Pink is not the epitome of femininity, and it is mildly annoying that it is commonly regarded as such. However it is also not PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE OF FEMINISM, and it is mildly annoying that it commonly regarded as such.

    There can be negative associations for any color, not just pink. Yellow, for example, can remind you of pus, urine, infection, or mucus. Green can be associated with illness, vomit, or boogers. That doesn’t make them inherently bad colors, though.

  38. I also hate pink color. So it always annoys me whenever I can’t get any differently colored alternatives for a toy I otherwise like.

  39. I get the opposite problem. Option Paralysis. “Y-you mean it comes in turquoise AND spring green AND orange? What am I going to do? I CAN’T AFFORD THREE!” And panic attack.
    Also I want a good variety in my collection, so if I love the color, but it’s over represented, I might pick a color I love less, just so I don’t have all matching sex toys. But I’m a crazy person.

  40. I agree. (I used to hate pink as a kid, because of the idea it’s somehow “feminine”. People already thought i was a girl, so i felt i had to distance myself from anything “feminine” to show i wasn’t one. Now i don’t care so much (as long as it’s not super pale ; i’m more into vivid colors), but i still hate that connection people/manufacturers are making.)
    What really gets to me are the Fleshlight Mr Limpy line of soft packers (which aren’t sex toys). (Apart from the sizing issues (humongous), and the advertising as “gag gift”.) A few years ago they apparently also existed in beige and brown, but now it seems like only the bright pink ones are left. Every single review i’ve read of the Mr Limpy agrees with me : that color is a major inconvenience, because it detracts the wearer from feeling like it’s really their own dick. (Which is the whole point of a packer in the first place.) So that’s a case when the “pinkiness” is actually harming the main use of the object. Yet the manufacturer decided to discontinue the skin tones and only keep the one color no one wants.
    [And before someone tells me to buy a more realistic packer : everything is huge (including the Limpys, but it’s possible to cut them smaller), and much more expensive. I don’t go for the “there’s a squirrel hiding in my pants” look.]

  41. I actually like pink – but I like most colors roughly equally. I don’t get so much get annoyed by the abundance of pink as I do by the lack of color variety, if that makes any sense. I LOVE variety! I might pick blue (my favorite color) one day, pick pink over blue the next day, and then the day after that give them both a miss and go for yellow.

    I realize that for some manufacturers, making a rainbow’s worth of colors for each toy model might not be practical, but more companies need to mix it up! Have one toy available in pink, green, and red, and another that comes in black, yellow, and purple! Some of us really want a rainbow collection!

  42. I’m astonished by that whole, “I can’t see it in use,” line of thought to begin with, but I say this as someone who rarely masturbates in the dark and has a habit of glancing down to watch my toys disappear and reappear while I use them. Maybe that’s less common than I think?

    But even if you don’t watch or keep the lights off, you should be able to look at your toy and think, “Yes, I want to fuck that.” If a disliked color negates that reaction, then it certainly matters.

  43. Why should your existence be reason to make toys other colors than pink? Females don’t love pink by default, and we don’t have “female brains” that differ from your supposed “male brain.”

  44. “Feminine” doesn’t equal female. Just the fact that you equated the two is very unsettling. A girl is a young female, not a series of stereotypes, preferences, hobbies, or way of thinking. Female is literally nothing but a reproductive category, to suggest it’s anything else is misogyny.

  45. I, too, waited quite a while to get Raquel because of the color! I want to join your band of non-pink-Raquel-wanting rebels. Fluorescent green is fine, though Tie-Bright would be even better! (Tie-Bright is pretty much the sole reason I own the Mustang.)

    As for the Tantus G-Spot/P-Spot, totally agree. At least they made it under the G-Spot name in white, too (which I have), but I don’t think they do anymore. 🙁

  46. Honestly, I completely feel this, but also, the same sentiment as the original post. But in the hate case, I end up with blue. I’m trans, and masculine crap bugs me, which unfortunately connotates with all shades of blue. It’s unfortunate, but what’re you gonna do.

  47. Evolved have some gorgeous colours coming this year. Seafoam green, a deep dark blue (that lights up too) Tiffany blue and some pretty blue and purple glow in the dark silicone dildos. I want them all coz the colours are so pretty lol even though I still haven’t had a chance to add their royal purple Aurora to my toy box yet.

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