Mar 272017
 

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.

Feeldoe More, Realdoe StoutShareVibe, Tango.

I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. Let’s start there. I have my Joque harness, I have well-loved strap-on dildos, and I am comfortable combining those things and fucking someone silly. I’ve never felt like strap-on sex wasn’t “intimate” enough, or like I needed extra genital stimulation in order to enjoy it. For me, the pleasure comes from wielding a cock, achieving ideal positioning and thrusting, and watching myself plunge into the depths of an orifice. (I love labia, all labia, labia forever — so I will take literally any chance to ogle them.)

Strapless strap-on dildos attempt to eliminate the harness aspect altogether. These double-ended toys have a bulb end for the wearer to insert, and a shaft end with which to penetrate the receiver. Bodies can get closer, the toy is more integrated to sex, and partners feel more connected. Ostensibly. Ideally. It’s tempting to don rose-colored glasses when considering these toys. I know because I did it myself.

The “strapless strap-on” category of sex toy didn’t exist until a crafty lesbian developed and patented the design of the Feeldoe, which she brought to Tantus for production in the early ’00s. For some good old-fashioned fun, I highly recommend poking around the inventor’s website, which is very gay, delightfully outdated, and laden with clipart and GIFs. My favorite quote: “We don’t supply any pictures of naked people. Seducing you is your partner’s job, not ours!”

Now, many sex toy peddlers have released their own strapless strap-ons: Vixen, Fun Factory, Happy Valley, Wet for Her, BS Atelier. Even the bigwig manufacturers — Doc Johnson, Cal Exotics, Swan — are getting in on the action. One of the more recent additions to the category is the ShareVibe, a re-imagining of Fun Factory’s original Share. Now with rechargeable bullet vibe in the base! Creepy bandaid color option! A shape that looks either genius or hella uncomfortable!?

It was time, I decided, to see if this type of toy could work for my girlfriend and I. So I rounded up several strapless strap-on dildos: the ShareVibe, Tantus Feeldoe More, Happy Valley Tango, and Tantus Realdoe Stout. A decent sample size! Yeah! Legit!

I went in optimistic, but that didn’t last long. In bed with Aerie, staring at the spread before us, I realized, who really wants to have such scientific sex? I don’t mind lining up dildos for a tasting flight when I’m alone, but I felt bad roping poor Aerie into it. They’ve already suffered enough for my reviews.

Still, we soldiered on. Like consummate professionals, we spent hours having mediocre sex, pausing frequently to take borderline-illegible notes in a notebook. On another occasion, to avoid having to decipher handwritten notes, we tape-recorded the session with my phone. It was such a perfect encapsulation of our tribulations that I edited the hour-long file down to the best, silliest 5 minutes just for you:

Click for transcript

Aerie: This is Article 1: Tango. Piph wearing the Tango.
Epiphora: With the Tango in the Tango. Tango on Tango.
Aerie: Oh! Tangoception.
Epiphora: But how am I supposed to fuck you like this?
Epiphora: Oh god, is it inside of you?
Aerie: It is.
Epiphora: I have to let go, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Aerie: “Is it in yet?”
Epiphora: Ah! It’s on a pattern, why!? No.
Epiphora: So not acrobatic enough for this.
Aerie: It is awkward.
Epiphora: It’s falling out!
Aerie: (laughs)
Epiphora: It’s falling out and I’m on bottom! Do I have to fucking close my legs, is that it?
Aerie: You gotta that shut that hole. (both laugh)
Epiphora: Closed for construction. No access right now.
Epiphora: This is the Feeldoe More.
Epiphora: Oh my god, your face looked like you just got shocked.
Aerie: Well, I mean, I just got punched in the cervix.
Epiphora: Oh my god, it’s SO LONG.
Aerie: (laughs) We don’t want more!
Epiphora: We don’t want more!
Both: We want less!
Aerie: Feeldoe Less! (both laugh)
Epiphora: That would be the Stout, Aerie.
Epiphora: Is it tiring?
Aerie: I either have to prop myself all the way up on my arms, or I have to lie on you, because I can’t brace myself with my legs when they’re together.
Epiphora: Yeah, your legs are useless.
Aerie: I’m like a fish. I’m basically a mermaid now, with a dick.
Aerie: Piph is lying down and I’m on top. Aerie on top.
Epiphora: Aerie on top! The Aerial position?
Epiphora: Oh, see, that’s nice. Can I just have that? ‘Cause that’s nice.
Aerie: See? Is it against your clit there?
Epiphora: Yeah. It’s good. It works. See that’s why, when you’re on the bottom, and you’re the one wearing it, you’re like, “this is fine, I like this.”
Aerie: And the person on top is like, “I thought was going to be the one being pleasured!”
Epiphora: Right. Right.
Aerie: Ew, the head shape is terrible on this. It feels horrible inside me.
Epiphora: Yeah, it’s not good.
Aerie: It’s scraping my insides. It’s doing bad things to my pubic bone.
Epiphora: Thanks, cum rag. You’re so helpful all the time.
Aerie: So the Welsh word for the language Welsh is “Cymraeg.” And every time I think cum rag now I think —
Epiphora: It sounds like cum rag!
Aerie: I know!
Epiphora: That’s good!
Aerie: We’re, like, halfway done.
Epiphora: Yeah… I mean…
Aerie: This is the Realdoe Stout. I remember you hated this one when I was fucking you with it.
Epiphora: I think you hated this one. I think we all hated this one.
Aerie: We might have both hated it, but I remember you specifically were like, “end it now” when I was on top of you.
Epiphora: (laughs)
Epiphora: Yep, you’re in the right place, just keep pushin’… oh my god…
Aerie: Oh god! Sorry.
Epiphora: It’s fine. Just push it back in. It’s just, the pubic bone is like, “no, can you not?”
Aerie: All I’m trying to do is keep it inside my body, which makes it hard to thrust when it’s just like, I can’t thrust with my vagina. (both laugh) ‘Cause when you have a strap-on you’re thrusting with your pelvis. When you have this, I’m just trying to thrust with my pussy and see if it works.
Epiphora: Piph on top riding Realdoe. I am scared.
Epiphora: It feels like an intrusion. You know what I mean? Like it doesn’t feel like a thing that is supposed to feel good. It feels like something that you would get at the doctor or something —
Aerie: Have to deal with.
Epiphora: And you’d be like, I don’t like it, but at least I’m getting an IUD, or —
Aerie: Counting the dots on the ceiling. Just let it end.
Epiphora: I’m not… no… oh… ugh! Noooooooooo.
Aerie: Yeah. It’s not good.
Epiphora: Now our friend here, the ShareVibe. It’s so erect.
Aerie: I can’t open my legs.
Epiphora: Oh OK, do you want me to lay down?
Aerie: I mean if you want me to use it on you.
Epiphora: Aerie’s legs are together forever, it’s fine. (both laugh)
Aerie: Oh my god, I can’t laugh, it’s coming out!
Epiphora: The way that you’re just creeping along with your legs together though is really funny.
Aerie: It’s like a horror movie character or something.
Aerie: What even is this pattern?!
Epiphora: I don’t know! It’s changing a lot.
Aerie: (imitates vibration pattern)
Epiphora: I really feel like I don’t know where your pussy is, and I don’t like that because, like, I need to know all times where your pussy is.
Aerie: (laughs)
Epiphora: I don’t feel like I am sexy right now, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Aerie: I mean it works… if all you desire is like, “can I be penetrated with a thing?”
Epiphora: Right, exactly. If your bar is —
Aerie: Insert point A into slot B.
Epiphora: “Does it not hurt?”
Aerie: Oh god.
Epiphora: Wow, it just went like…
Both: BOI-OI-OING! (both laugh)
Aerie: I don’t like any of them.
Epiphora: I know!
Aerie: I’m trying to find something redeeming about stuff, and I hate them all.
Epiphora: So, they’re all stupid and we hate them all. You’re welcome. The end. Review written.

It became clear that the answer to my question was no. Strapless strap-ons do not work for us. For many valid reasons. Reasons that are likely to be true, at least partly, for a lot of other couples.

So strap yourself in. I’m about to get detailed as fuck.

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.

Feeldoe More, Realdoe StoutShareVibe, Tango.

PROBLEM #1: one thing we learned early in our testing was that, unless the dildo wielder is wearing a harness, they often have to keep their legs together to keep the toy from slipping out of their body. Sure, if either of us concentrated and did super-kegels, we could keep the bulb inside ourselves. But otherwise, nah bruh. These dildos are too heavy, and as much of a boss as my vagina is, I cannot and will not actively clench with it the entire time I’m fucking someone. I’m getting a stress headache just thinking about it.

You have to close your legs, clamp onto the dildo for dear life, and waddle over to your partner.

Unsurprisingly, this makes missionary complicated. The wearer can’t use their legs for leverage (as Aerie described it, “I’m basically a mermaid now, with a dick”) and must prop themselves up on their arms — as if they’re doing a push-up — which is neither practical nor sexy. Consequently, the wearer can barely guide the shaft into their partner without help and can’t tell what’s going on down there without verbal confirmation. “How am I supposed to fuck you like this?” I asked Aerie as I struggled. With the roles reversed, Aerie had less trouble, but they still felt hindered. “I can’t thrust with my VAGINA,” they complained.

At least we have laughter, you know?

In cowgirl, the wearer still has to shut their legs most of the time, but at least they don’t feel completely inept at fucking.

The ShareVibe aims to fix the falling-out issue with its extreme curves, but this had unfortunate repercussions. Aerie couldn’t hold the bulb in, even while clenching, because the toy was trying to fight its way out in order to spring back into shape. For me, ironically, the ShareVibe was both the one that locked into place best and the one I wanted out of my body the soonest. I couldn’t stand the way it incessantly jammed my cervix.

I had marginal success wearing the Realdoe Stout. Its matte silicone helped it stay in me, sort of, so that I could thrust without closing my legs, sort of. But I was distracted by the pervasive feeling that it wanted to escape. With these toys, it always feels like danger is imminent.

PROBLEM #2: worn without a harness, the shafts of these toys hang much lower than a regular strap-on dildo or a penis. Whereas a strap-on would generally sit atop my mons, these are all too heavy and floppy. They droop. They dangle.

So regular ol’ missionary turns into a battle against gravity, and at one point the dildo was grazing the bed it was hanging so low. In cowgirl, with me wearing the toy, the length and position of the shaft prevented Aerie from rubbing their clit against my body — which they’re able to do with penises and regular strap-on dildos. In Aerie’s words: “well cool, you just ruined the one thing that I wanted from being on top.”

The ShareVibe was the exception to this rule, but not in a good way. Its incredibly furled body wants to always be furled. You have to quite literally pull the shaft downward to use it properly, and you can imagine how that feels to the various involved orifices. My cervix is shuddering as I write this.

Demonstration of how floppy most strapless strap-on dildos are... except the Fun Factory ShareVibe.

Conventional wisdom goes that strapless strap-on dildos do their best work when stabilized by a harness, but that’s too simplistic. Remember, two strap harnesses don’t provide support in the genital area, so while they ensure that the toy doesn’t dislodge entirely, they don’t keep the bulb from migrating, especially during vigorous thrusting.1 Also, it doesn’t matter whether the toys are more secure in a harness if my partner hates every single shaft… just sayin’…

The ShareVibe was the only dildo we tried that was actually worse in a harness. Threaded through the Joque’ s O-ring, the curve of its shaft became so severe (“it’s gonna penetrate my own bellybutton!”) that most positions were uncomfortable — even impossible — for the receiver. Aerie was on top of me on the couch, normally a favorable position, and they had to lean into me to avoid feeling poked internally.

It occurred to me in this moment that the ShareVibe would work if we were both ghosts, able to drift into each other. Alas, we are not dead.

PROBLEM #3: the wearer’s bulb side is too big, too long, too uncomfortable. Aerie refused to wear the cervix-punching Tango and became increasingly annoyed with the bulb shape of the ShareVibe, which was bothering their cervix and clamping against their vagina — a pressure which intensified with the addition of vibration. “It’s pushing everywhere inside,” they whined.

Strapless strap-on dildos. Fun Factory ShareVibe, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Tantus Feeldoe More, Happy Valley Tango.

When I wore the ShareVibe, I understood immediately: it felt like it was giving me cramps. I couldn’t bear to keep it inserted for more than a few minutes.

None of the other bulbs caused me pain, but none of them caused me pleasure, either. Which seems like an important thing to note, since otherwise why the fuck am I enduring any of this?

PROBLEM #4: the receiver’s shaft side is too long, too rigid, too boring, too uncomfortable. Aerie and I encountered two types of shaft in our testing: ones with dramatic, abrupt heads, and ones we called “rods” — thin, undefined tubes. All were too rigid. None of them did anything for either of our G-spots, and in fact did bad things to our pubic bones and cervixes.

“Nothing about this is good,” Aerie groaned as I tried to fuck them with the Realdoe. “Ew, the head shape is terrible on this,” they said when I used the Feeldoe More. We found ourselves longing for the “rods” simply because they didn’t have jutting heads, but even those were prone to cervix poking.

Because yeah, cervixes exist. That’s why we prefer shorter shafts and softer silicone for strap-on action, but none of these dildos seem to understand that. Their firm silicone felt intrusive rather than pleasurable, and their lengthy shafts prevented our bodies from getting close. Doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose of using this kind of toy?

Not even blowjobs could salvage things. I wore the dildos one by one and had my boyfriend suck me off. The Tango was the only one that wasn’t too large or poorly angled, but it holds zero aesthetic appeal — the nondescript blue silicone shaft in his mouth made me feel like a smurf. I’d much rather watch someone go to town on Buck while I hold a vibe on my clit.2

PROBLEM #5the experience of using these toys is far from seamless, and in fact most of the time is actively unpleasant.

Aerie and I had brief moments where everything clicked, where clits were enjoying themselves and cervixes were at ease and the whole thing didn’t seem like some sort of sex olympics turned slapstick comedy. But those were fleeting. In the entirety of our tape-recorded hour-long session, I could discern only one moment where we were content enough to stop complaining and just kiss. (It was when I was wearing a harness with the Tango in it.)

We-Vibe Tango and Fun Factory Bullet in strapless strap-on dildos.

We-Vibe TangoFun Factory Bullet

When it was tolerable, vibration was the reason. If the wearer lays on their back, they can chill out for a sec and appreciate the clitoral stimulation. It helped that instead of using a shitty watch battery bullet, we used the powerhouse We-Vibe Tango. ALL HAIL TANGO, THE SAVING GRACE OF SO MANY THINGS. The ShareVibe comes with its own rechargeable bullet, but it’s terribly buzzy and only has one steady setting. The Tango doesn’t fit in the ShareVibe’s hole, either, unless you pad it with something.3

Mostly, the focus of sex became babysitting the current dildo, not relaxing and having fun. We did not feel more connected — we felt distracted. The more we fucked, the lower the bar became until using any toy that simply didn’t cause discomfort was a relief. Sentences such as “well, the head of this one isn’t doing weird things to my pubic bone” and “its shape is boring but at least it doesn’t hurt” were uttered.

Aerie summed up both our thoughts perfectly: “I mean, it works if all you desire is ‘can I be penetrated with a thing?'”

Our standards are higher, though, and we know that what we want is better achieved with other toys. For strap-on sex, I like to wear my favorite harness with Shilo or Mustang (or whichever dildo my partner wants!?!? OH, THE FREEDOM!), and to get clitoral vibration I’ll use the Dusk + Tango, or a dildo from Fuze + Tango.

In a perfect world I’d be able to go balls-deep in my girlfriend, our skin touching with no impediments, them grinding against me and enjoying the penetration, while the toy vibrates against my clit and nudges my G-spot. But I now know that is a daydream. That is a utopia.

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango, Tantus Feeldoe More.

Strapless strap-on dildos must satisfy two finicky humans rather than just one. This makes them even more individualized and difficult to recommend. Questions to ponder: what sort of shape and angle does the wearer want? The receiver? Do you want vibrations? Will you be attempting to use it without a harness (I wish you luck)? Do you have a strong opinion about the finish on your silicone (I prefer glossy, Aerie does not)? The squish factor?

This is a lot of questions, my friends. This is a lot of ways for things to go awry. This is the type of sex toy that could very well end up in the bottom drawer, an optimistic purchase with disappointing results.

I don’t want to talk you out of this style of toy completely, and I certainly don’t want to discourage new companies from attempting double-ended dildo designs. But I’m a realist, and I prefer my sexual encounters to feel organic, not orchestrated. And that says a lot coming from a person who, upon fisting someone for the first time, loudly narrated, “oh my god! My whole hand is inside of you! You are a miracle!” I’m a total dork, but even I like some semblance of eroticism. I also like sex that doesn’t make me feel like a goddamn oaf, and this is definitely NOT THAT.

Exhausted after all our testing, Aerie and I eschewed the dildos and penetration altogether. I grabbed the Magic Wand Rechargeable, Aerie the We-Vibe Tango. We laid side by side, lightly kissing and caressing each other as we used the vibrators on ourselves. I was struck by the contrast. For the previous hour, it had felt almost not like sex at all. Suddenly, I felt close to my partner again. We relished the simple, uncomplicated pleasure. One might even call it intimacy.

Double-ended dildos can be found at SheVibe, TantusEarly to Bed, Smitten Kitten,
Pleasure ChestBabeland, She Bop, Lovehoney (international), and Come As You Are (Canada).

  1. You’d want an underwear or single-strap harness for best results. []
  2. This is not as logistically difficult as it may seem; you just have to position the dildo a little off-center. []
  3. We used cotton balls. []
  • Thank you SO MUCH for this post, Piph! I’ve always been incredibly curious about insertable strap-ons, and after reading this, I can safely say that I will never be trying one. They sound like they’re incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to use as a general class, which is definitely not what I want in the bedroom.

    I’ll be sticking to a harness + Mustang combination in the future instead!

  • 10 years ago I bought a Feeldoe, to peg someone. I look back on the entire situation (and relationship, tbh) with a lot of head shaking. I bought the Feeldoe because the strap-on harness they already owned (yeah…from their ex….) was, well, sized for their ex. Who was about your size, and I was definitely not. And so the harness didn’t fit me. Either I didn’t look hard enough for a plus-size harness or there were none available, which was why I went for the Feeldoe. It was a raging failure, exactly like yours, because I couldn’t keep it in. I felt like *I* was the problem! Then I started researching harnesses for the Feeldoe. I still have a link to the photos of a harness someone made, that I was considering making. It was basically your average harness with no o-ring – instead it had a strong leather gusset that would cover most of the vulva to ostensibly keep the Feeldoe bulb in place.

    THEN I realized the ridiculousness of needing a strap-on for a strapless strap-on dildo and just gave up on pegging with a dildo attached to me. I ended up swapping it a couple of years later on Toyswap and have never regretted sending it to another home.

  • KK

    Thank you for this! I’d actually asked you about these ages ago (you probably don’t remember, since I only vaguely do). It’s disappointing to hear they don’t seem to work that well, since I always feel like the person wearing a strap on is getting left out.

  • deadthylacine

    I have both a Feeldoe slim and the original Share. They’re used for pegging almost exclusively, so my opinions about them are probably colored by that.

    I’ve found that the Slim is okay for me to use without a harness if I make sure to not use too much lube and don’t use any other toys before it. It is, however, kind of boring. Still more fun than just the harness and plain dildo, but on its own the toy doesn’t really do anything for me.

    The Share, on the other hand, is amazing. I can’t use the Share for its intended purpose without a harness, but I do use the Share when alone. It’s one of my favorite toys. I’m sad to see that the vibrating version doesn’t live up to it. That’s pretty disappointing.

  • Pingback: Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos | Sexinmycity()

  • Meep

    We have a feeldoe slim and a funfactory share. They were originally purchased for pegging but neither like to stay in. I pretty much can’t stand the feeldoe at all, but the share is nice for blowjobs. He fucks me with the bully bit and I get to play with his hair and watch him with a matte purple cock in his mouth!

  • Meep

    Bulb, not bully!

  • That’s pretty much the redeeming factor I found with the Share years ago too. Sadly I gave it away to friends I figured would make more use of it…

  • scatternerd

    I got a feeldoe a long time ago – worst decision ever. Lemme just say, for someone who seems to produce far, far too much of their own lubrication, your first point is amplified. Even thighs together doesn’t guarantee shit for me.
    I’m well aware that my problem is uncommon (the over-wetness), but it’s just so annoying when trying to use a toy that’s meant to stay in there.

  • Yes! I was getting so annoyed that I was being punished for adding even a small amount of lube! Any wetness at all seems to make them slip.

  • Nons

    I think I remember from your paper notes from the first test that someone described the ridged base as “cheese-gratery”? Is that correct? Because I want to complain about HOW MUCH I HATE THE RIDGED BASE I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY THINK MY LABIA NEED THAT EXPERIENCE IT IS SO UNPLEASANT. WHY. WHYYYYY.

    Do you think there is some sort of maybe two-device solution for someone who wants g-spot stimulation while fucking someone else? External clitoral stimulation does nothing for me on the average day, and it would be nice to have some options that don’t involve unbuckling a harness and switching positions.

  • You must be thinking of someone else? I’m not sure which base you are referring to either?

    To get G-spot stimulation, I’d recommend maybe trying to find a dildo (or butt plug) with a narrow neck that can be worn hands free as a “vaginal plug” of sorts. Maybe the Hole Punch Fluke or something similar?

  • Nons

    Oh, I meant the ribbed portion of the shaft that is meant to sit against the user’s clitorus (more or less) on the Feeldoe, Realdoe, and Tango. Maybe it was another blogger who complained about those ridges! I imagine they must work for somebody, since they’re so prevalent, but wow are they not for me. Thanks for the rec!

  • Interesting! I didn’t find them to be an issue, but good to know that they can be unpleasant for some!

  • Rin

    Point one is something I’ve always pondered about. It’s like, either the bulb has to be obnoxiously large, or someone has to have the world’s strongest PC muscles to keep the things in without clamping their legs shut. And speaking as somebody who MUST have lube (I literally can only use the Tantus Silk medium without lube, absolutely nothing else), I feel like these things just simply wouldn’t work for me.

    I AM somewhat more intrigued with the super-bendy style of double dildo (for example, the Fun Factory Sonic). Do you have any thoughts on those?

  • Right! I don’t know what the solution is, because either way it sucks.

    You know, the floppy double-ended ones don’t really appeal me. They seem to require a lot of movement? I’d just rather use a dildo I like, while my partner uses a dildo they like, and control the movement with my hand rather than my body? I dunno.

  • Rin

    Makes sense. 🙂

  • Minx Charlestown

    I feel strange being a voice of dissent, but I actually love the original Share for pegging! Sure, it needs a harness, but I get so much pleasure from the internal bulb, and I haven’t had any trouble with where it sits- it reaches the middle of my mons quite easily. I must be a lucky minority!

  • That’s okay! I knew that my experience would not be true for everyone. I gave away my original Share years ago, otherwise I would’ve tried it too.

  • Minx Charlestown

    I do find it floppy without a harness though, that part rings true. It didn’t occur to me that the Sharevibe might be too tight, though, so I’ll keep it in mind before recommending it to anyone. I’m still very grateful to hear how these work for other people!

  • Angie Rasmusson

    One possibility that I’ve seen which MIGHT solve the harness/no-harness question, is using something OVER the strapless. I saw one porn video where the girl wearing the strapless pulled on some pantyhose, making a hole for the dildo to come out—but leaving the rest so that it held it in place. For them, it seemed to work. Sort of a semi-disposable (and increasingly expensive) alternative to a harness.

    That is, if all of the other factors are non-factors. I guess if everything fits right for someone except it just won’t stay in, this might be an option worth trying.

  • AmberHyena

    I own the Feeldoe More, and I agree about the stupid head (why is it like that), but other than that it really works for my girlfriend and me. We use it with a homemade harness (It looks like the velvets nest harnesses for reference and we didn’t make it specifically for this but because it’s way cheaper than buying something), and are able to do missionary and cowgirl (for her, I am too short to do cowgirl on anything) easily. Things that might contribute: I have a super high cervix, we both pretty much need penetration to get off, we both kinda hate realistic dildos (so the blowjob aesthetic works for me), we don’t bother with the hole and use the wevibe tango on the person being penetrateds clit… idk, you never know what makes it work for one person and not another? It really works for this lesbian though, and my gf, so I guess we’re super lucky!

    Tbh I completely don’t think if it as a “strapless strap on” and often forget its marketed that way – I think of it as a better double ended dildo. I think it’s stupid they’re marketed as “strapless” at all.

  • Scott Louise

    Such a nice post, all dildos can be extremely pleasurable .Recently i ordered 6.5 Inch All American Whopper dildo from a online store pleasureplayz . And its feels like the real thing, but also looks like the real thing.

  • I appreciate you sharing your experience, and definitely, I think those factors you mentioned have a lot to do with your enjoyment of it!

  • I love those sweet giggles though; you two sound like you had a good time despite the pain <3

  • Mobiiu2

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one to have such a shitty time trying strapless. I ended up with a Doc Johnson Gal Pal from a ‘free stuff’ bin at work (anything used for product photos on the company website, or damaged packages always end up in the bin), and wow, talk about disappointing. I found myself not really able to do much with it because I couldn’t keep the damn thing in to even move with it! And yeah, tube shaft with little spheres on the end? No thanks.

    The only good thing about it was the name, because the irony of using a Gal Pal on your girlfriend is just perfect. lmfao

  • GAL PALS!!! Does this mean you play Girl Talk afterward and paint your nails?

  • disqus_QkHRAx8s1Q

    I own the tango. I knew it wasn’t going to be used without a harness, and I’ve had some success with it, I like the stimulation as I’m thrusting. My issue is the wearer’s end is just too long, so it actually works out okay that it still slips out a little bit during use. I want it to be half the length it is. I want to cut it, but cutting silicone sucks so I don’t want to cut it.

  • I’m only partway through the review, but I have to stop and comment that I feel calling the Feeldoe inventor’s website outdated – delightfully or otherwise – is a bit petty and uncalled for ;/

    In my opinion! Anyway back to reading

  • This is a review of HER experiences. This review is how it worked for HER. She clearly states that these are HER opinions. The purpose of reviews is to explain how a toy worked for one person, so that people with like body might have something to compare to. Plenty of people will be able to relate to this and find it helpful. It does not make it tone deaf if she doesn’t use or enjoy toys the way you do.

    I’m trans, MANY toys she uses and reviews can’t even be used on me. That doesn’t make her tone deaf. I understand that you are just coming out, but remember, everyone is free to enjoy pleasure, however they see fit, as long as it does not hurt someone else.

  • Star

    *Alright, back to edit my review of your review.

    I can’t even begin to describe how much this sentence pisses me off. How rude can you be? Since when did you become the judge and jury of someone else’s PERSONAL experience.

    She can’t write a review based on how you would feel if you used the toy, she isn’t bloody psychic. She has to write it based on her own experiences. How dare you insinuate that her experiences are wrong.

  • Hey, sugarcunt. I was hoping another reviewer would comment instead of others just calling me entitled! I was absolutely not trying to be – hence why I tried to mention that I’ve found her reviews helpful in the past!

    I adore that she talks with her partner & includes their opinions and experiences. Whose reviews of the toys are also included. A partner who is nonbinary and uses they pronouns.

    I understand that a cis reviewer will review toys using her body – and usually I’ve found this blog to be good at stating repeatedly that not everyone will use toys the same way.

    I don’t really like the way the review ends, stating/implying that it can be closer and intimate without any of these toys.

    It’s a very personal review and I’m glad it was written.

    That’s all I have to say.

  • Great, I’m glad we agree.

    I’m very autistic. Sometimes I pick up tones or implications in textual writing that do not exist.

    I agree, everyone should use toys or not use toys as their sex life and their partner and their personal preferences let them.

    Anyway.

  • Billie Blueflower

    I bought a harness years ago made by Stormy Leather, sold at Babes in Toyland, on a trip to NYC about 10 years ago. It was pricey but I’m mentioning it because it had a larger “belt” in the same leather for larger people. Anything with the double-d-ring connection points should be retrofittable if you still need that 🙂

  • Billie Blueflower

    I like mine and use it without a harness, but it *is* a big risk because they are so expensive. I like it better than a dildo-in-harness because there’s one less layer of material between me and my wife. It does have its limitations, and in my experience the “giver” (me) is not physically stimulated any more than with a dil/harness… my wife loves it tho!!! We haven’t used our harness since we bought our double dil about 7 years ago.

  • Billie Blueflower

    For the record, it never occurred to *me* to think of you as entitled! If there’s a place a person should hope and expect their their fantasies/needs/whatever fulfilled, it is in the realm of sex toys 😉

  • T Byrd

    Thought I’d weigh in with one more perspective.

    I have a ShareVibe, which I LOVE (conditionally). I use it exclusively for pegging, and the steep angle and inflexibility of the silicone makes it tricky to find positions that work, but it is totally possible.

    I HAVE to use it with a harness. I use the Tantus velvet harness with the velvet part removed, and I finally figured out how to tighten the straps so it holds stuff where it needs to be.

    The bulb on this one is my everything, but I don’t have an overly sensitive cervix, and I like heavy G-spot stimulation and girth. If you don’t like either of those things or have a sensitive or low cervix, this might not be for you.

    Fun Factory’s bullet is SO bad, but it got the job done for a while. The vibration didn’t do much for me, but my partner enjoyed it. But VeDO’s bullet fits the hole and is much nicer, so for $30 you can improve that aspect considerably.

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  • Sara Testarossa

    I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I love this post and thank you and Aerie for going to the trouble to test these and suffer (probably more than you expected you would!). The recording is priceless.

    And I’m mainly commenting because I was looking at a different page of yours https://heyepiphora.com/faq/#double (when grabbing resource links to send to a friend) and hey, now you have more experience with double ended dildos than you did when writing it! Yay new experiences even if they’re unpleasant, because FOR SCIENCE! I mean, for love of sex toy info?

  • AK

    Don’t know how much it will adress the other problems (haven’t used it with a partner yet), but re problems 3 and 4, try Vixen’s Nexus line. They’re much softer than the ones you reviewed, closer to Vixskin than to hard silicone dildos. And I LOVE the shape of the insertable end. It’s shaped more like a penis than a bulb, a little longer (4-5″) and narrower (1.25″) than the others and it sits perfectly against my g spot. Even having it in and slightly moving around feels very good.

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