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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

VixSkin

VixSkin is a dual-density 100% silicone made exclusively by Vixen Creations. One of my favorite materials of all time, and definitely my favorite soft material, it is characterized by a hard inner core covered in a spongy outer layer. It feels slightly tacky, but is very soft and skin-like.

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Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2017

December 31, 2017
2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got... Keep Reading
Vixen Mustang, photo by That Virgin Who Can't Drive
Adventures in SquirtingDildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Mustang

April 23, 2014
I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the... Keep Reading
Limited edition tie dye Maverick. My first one was a flesh tone.
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Discontinuation alert: Vixen neon dildos

October 29, 2013
I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen... Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Buck dildo with a bunch of bananas. Accordingly, the dildo has a Chiquita sticker on it that says NATURAL NUTRITION.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Buck

July 10, 2013
Is there a VixSkin oversaturation point? I now own seven things made out of this dual-density silicone, yet I’m still... Keep Reading
OH MY SWEET JESUS. Neon VixSkin dildos!
Giveaways

Neon and tie dye VixSkin winner

September 6, 2012
So I’m pretty sure my neon and tie dye VixSkin giveaway has been my most successful giveaway to date. AND... Keep Reading
OH MY SWEET JESUS. Neon VixSkin dildos!
Giveaways

Giveaway: Neon and tie-dye VixSkin FOR YOU!

August 21, 2012
So after screaming “IS THIS REAL LIFE???” and recovering from my initial heart attack when I heard about these new... Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Mustang

October 3, 2011
Oh my god. This thing. You guys. This thing. It is SO GLORIOUS. It’s been nearly a year and a... Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Outlaw realistic silicone dildo
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Outlaw

September 2, 2010
The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8... Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Johnny

June 20, 2010
I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will... Keep Reading
MARCH OF THE COCKS! Graphic of tons of VixSkin dildos, all lined up.
Giveaways

Squeeze some VixSkin winner!

May 18, 2010
Damn! You guys really like dildos, don’t you?! The response to my Squeeze some VixSkin giveaway was immense. I wish... Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Grip

May 11, 2010
Since falling for the Fleshlight, my boyfriend has had a distinct distaste for strokers that feel — as he puts it... Keep Reading
MARCH OF THE COCKS! Graphic of tons of VixSkin dildos, all lined up.
Giveaways

Giveaway: Squeeze some VixSkin!

May 1, 2010
It’s no secret I adore VixSkin, the soft-on-the-outside and hard-on-the-inside silicone invented by Vixen Creations. Right now, I’m still on... Keep Reading
Limited edition tie dye Maverick. My first one was a flesh tone.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Maverick

April 27, 2010
I used to be frightened of realistic dildos. The flesh tones, the veins, the balls — all of it. It... Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Randy

January 9, 2010
Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.”... Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Raquel VixSkin dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Raquel

December 3, 2009
The Vixen Creations Raquel doesn’t look like much, especially in pictures. It’s a simple pink dildo with a bulging head,... Keep Reading

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Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

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