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True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer

Why MTV didn’t pick me for True Life: I’m Famous Online, I’ll never know. So I made my own tag. See also #sexbloggerlyfe.

Sex toy manicure from Finger Bang! Featuring dildos, vibrators, kegel balls, a butt plug, and a harness.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Look, I got a sex toy manicure (at Finger Bang!)

In the past, there was no option for me to enshrine my favorite objects — sex toys — on my...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Ophoria Pleasure No. 6

Today the mail guy brought me the Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 dildo. I was surprised to find that it is...
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BanterSunshine & RainbowsToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Tantus sends me a box of challenges

I emailed Tantus last week because someone bought stuff on their site through my affiliate link, but the sale didn’t...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

One year ago

At a cozy little bed & breakfast, we celebrated our fourth anniversary. I had probably the best orgasm I’ve ever...
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Those wild 'n' free cords you see? For my Kindle and iPod. The sex toy cords are wrapped up nicely.
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Sex toy storage: chargers and lube edition

Rechargeable sex toys can free people from the burden of clunky batteries, but there’s one side effect that kinda sucks:...
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Sex toy reviewer spread: camera, laptop, to-do list, and sex toys everywhere.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The secret truth about sex toy reviewing

“Holy shit, you masturbate for a living?!” This is how people often respond when I tell them what I do, and...
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Coffee and the Tantus Goddess
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Goddess

With a 30% off coupon, I have bought my very first 100% silicone watch-battery-using dildo. It is, fittingly, named Goddess....
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Obama will be president, and seven other awesome things

Barack Obama will be our next president. I’m not a hugely political person, but I was worried all day and...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Soaked-through paper towels

Sometimes I wait an embarrassingly long time to clean my sex toys. But that’s the beauty of non-porous toys — they clean...
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My new Facebook fan page.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesSound Off!True Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

I’m sick of you, Facebook

Facebook hates sex bloggers. This is well-established. They’ve disabled my account twice now. The first time, they told me I...
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The Sybian... and packing materials.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerVibrators

Today in my life… a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

In this episode of True Life: I’m a Sex Toy Reviewer, I am in disbelief as I unbox this sex machine,...
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Pills spilled on an orange surface.
BanterGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The 2 weeks of my sex life I lost to Zoloft

My doctor was mildly amused when I told her that I run a sex toy review blog. “Some people experience...
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Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?April Fool's!BanterBlogger LyfeFeaturesJack-off JournalSex Toy ReviewsShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerVibrators

Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

Today I’m releasing exclusive tapes from last month’s masturbatory adventures. These are my intimate audio notes from out in the...
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BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Ella, Bare with Me game, & more

I think it’s fair to say that my boyfriend’s getting a little irritated with having to bring in mail that...
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A sex blogger's desk: dildos, coffee, laptop, etc.
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesFeaturesGreatest HitsInterviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 2: Mom, I’m a sex blogger

The memory’s a bit of a blur now, but almost 7 years ago, I was standing in the bathroom at...
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A keyboard spelling out "SEX." Because sex blogging = a rearranged keyboard, duh.
BanterBlogger LyfeFeminism's Not a Dirty WordTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

I blog about sex. That is not an invitation.

Yes indeed, I run what the general population would call a “sex blog.” I spend my days drafting posts about...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

see more

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

My Celebrator oscillating toothbrush vibrator on a vintage floral patterned surface.

Review: My Celebrator

Fun Toys G-Vibe, a purple dildo with a split shape, creepin' on the neighbors through the blinds.

Review: G-Vibe

Slice of rainbow pride cake necklaces on a tie-dye fabric

The things we’ve built

Clandestine Devices Mimic vibrator on an ancient-looking egg scale. The cons outweigh the pros.

Anatomy of a negative sex toy review (or: the Mimic)

Sex toy temporary tattoos and the lengths we go through to photograph them. Photo by Kate Sinclaire.

Together, we form one fully functional human

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