When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about 5,000 dildos, so I figured I’d organize them by My Feelings. The problem? With a lot of toys, My Feelings are amorphous and indifferent. I know which toys I absolutely adore, and I know which ones I loathe, but that leaves a large chunk of my collection in the middle. As such, there are several drawers of these “middle ground” toys.
That concludes my cart. Here’s what’s in my deeper, stacking drawers:
DRAWER OF STUFF TO TEST.
Well, except Maverick — that’s there because it’s fuckin’ amazing but doesn’t fit in my other top drawer. Otherwise, the NobEssence Intrigue, Fun Factory Spring, and Vamp Talula were all new toys that I needed to test when I took this photo (you caught me — these pictures are were not exactly taken yesterday. Hey, adding tons of links is hard!).
DRAWER OF SWEET TOYS.
This drawer serves a similar function as the second one on my rolling cart — great toys that should probably get more action. Jollies Jack, Ophoria Bliss No. 8 (try at your own risk — this is an intense mofo), Vixen Johnny, Tantus O2 Rascal.
But, because my collection is insane, not everything can fit into the plastic drawers. What happens to toys that I deem unworthy of the plastic drawers? They go either in my Tunti toybox (this is an old picture, and a lot of these toys have relocated now) —
or here, in a cabinet that I rarely open.
Yes, it’s a sad day when a toy is demoted to the bags-inside-the-cabinet, or even worse, the cardboard-box-inside-the-cabinet. Well, I don’t hate the Hitachi, but I never use it, and it’s massive. (Not anymore!) Some of the toys in these bags are older, shittier ones that I acquired when I first started reviewing. Others are dead (why do I keep them? Fuck if I know). Some I was certain I would never use again once I reviewed them, so I demoted them quickly (like the Ticklers, this abomination, and the fail-tastic vibrating brief).
Of course, this whole system is in a constant state of evolution. My plastic drawers are already becoming more unruly. My cabinet is filling quickly. And, well, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t toys scattered around the apartment in the weirdest of places: the Fleshlights hiding behind the cabinet, lube secured behind some tins on a bookshelf, the Eleven in its crazy case wherever I can find a place for it.
But that is the gist of my storage system, in photos. Have I satiated your creeper hunger?