Some people might argue that mashed potatoes and gravy are the best thing about this time of year, but I’d argue that freakishly good sex toy deals win out. You can put both in your orifices, which is appealing, but food is temporary, and high-quality dildos are forever. Also, I don’t recommend mashed potatoes as a lubricant. In case your mind was going there. Mine was.
SheVibe is my favorite online shop. Not only is it run by amazing peoplewho care, their selection is also pretty unparalleled. It’s an escalating sale at SheVibe: the more you buy, the more you save! Plus free shipping in the US!
10% off orders over $75 with code STUFFING10
15% off orders over $100 with code STUFFING15
20% off orders over $125 (and a free gift!) with code STUFFING20
And just for my lovely peeps, get a $10 gift card (for future use) on orders of $100 or more with code PIPHBB10, or a $5 gift card on orders under $100 with code PIPHBB5. Multiple codes can be used, so you can combine these! SheVibe will also throw in a free lube sample and sticker!
This sale runs Wednesday, November 25th through Monday, December 30th.
BEST FOR: orders over $150, and you’ll get a free bottle of lube!
Through 12/2, Good Vibes is offering a 3-tier sale with limited exclusions. 10% off order over $85, 15% off order over $100, and 20% off order over $150, plus a free bottle of Please lube with code EPIPHORA!
Do you, as I do, salivate at the idea of a limited edition sex toy? Do you also like swanky yet functional glass dildos? Then you should pick up this beautimous Epiphora’s Exclusive Star Delight or Epiphora’s Exclusive Twist with glacier blue aqua Swarovski crystal (a color not currently used in any Crystal Delights toys)! These gorgeous dildos are two of the best I’ve ever tried. They make the perfect gift, to yourself or a loved one. Way better than jewelry.
Use code EECD to get $10 off either of these dildos.
Otherwise, get a 10% discount on your order and a little holiday gift made by Crystal Delights with coupon code code HH2U, or get free shipping with code SHIPFREE (only one code per order).
My favorite worldwide sex toy shop, Lovehoney, is offering a steep 30% off my favorite toys, among their other sales and special offers, through 11/30. This deal gives you the best price on the OhMiBod Lovelife Cuddle, We-Vibe Touch and Tango, Vibratex Mystic Wand, and Vixen Mustang. This offer ends at 11:59 pm (time zone according to the site you’re ordering from) on Wednesday, December 2nd.
Those links should take you directly to the Lovehoney that corresponds to your location. If not, try these:
BEST FOR: really inexpensive silicone butt plugs and dildos, specific Tantus toys.
While supplies last, buy two grab bag toys and get the third free! Grab bag toys come in mystery colors. I particularly love the simple yet filling Ryder plug (my review), small but mighty G-spotter Sport, and the Goddess Handle for some extra leverage. Plus, you can use code EPIPHORA to get an additional 15% off already amazing sale prices.
Just for my readers, get 15% off, a handful of tiny dildos (while supplies last), and a free grab bag Ryder or Sport (your choice) with purchases over $75 with code PIPHRYDER or PIPHSPORT. No need to add the grab bag item to your cart. What should you get? Here are my picks.
Early to Bed
BEST FOR: the LELO Mona 2, purchases of less expensive items and rare items from my favorites list, such as cute butt plugs, Vixen Creations single-density dildos, and porn DVDs.
Do you understand how madly in love I am with Early to Bed? Especially because they worked with me on a special deal just for my readers again this year. Black Friday through Cyber Monday, buy at least one product from my favorites page and get 15% off your total order and a free “Your Bits are Beautiful” sticker pack! Just use coupon code EPIPHORA15. Otherwise, you can get 10% off everything else site-wide!
Early to Bed is the cheapest place to get my favorite vibrator, the LELO Mona 2, right now! They are also especially great for non-dual-density dildos from Vixen that I love: Woody, Leo, Randy, and Large Real Bent (Claire). Here, you can also get the a good deal on the Hitachi, Cuddle, and Moka.
Although this may not be the steepest discount you can get, Early to Bed is one of the greatest little indie sex shops around. They’re not afraid to call out sexism and stupidity in the industry and they work their butts off to provide accurate sex ed day after day, so you should support them!
This coupon is valid Friday, November 27th through Monday, November 30th.
I heart Smitten Kitten in unnatural ways. Cyber Monday only, get 20% off everything on their site with code GET20! My picks are chronicled here, but let me reiterate: it’s really important that you order their special reusable “This Bag is Full of Sex Toys” bag.
The sale at Babeland is 15% off everything with code CM1515 (through 12/1), and even more of a discount on specific product lines, and they’re all good ones! Visit my newly-minted favorites page for ideas on what to get, but the LELO Mona 2 is one of the best deals, at ~$118.
25% off Fun Factory through 12/2. Fun Factory’s best innovations are their pulsators, which thrust rather than vibrate (I loooove the Eins). Their Bootie is my all-time favorite silicone anal plug, I enjoy the odd sensations of the Bouncer, and the Tiger G5 and Big Boss are rumbly, strong vibrators for your money.
Spend $150 and get a free mystery sleeve + free shipping + bullet vibe
Spend $200 and get a free surprise pleasure pack + free mystery sleeve + free shipping + bullet vibe
BEST FOR: people who just want some lube, goddamnit, without having to buy other junk!
Sliquid is my favorite lube ever. Get 15% off all orders at Sliquid, Black Friday through Cyber Monday. The best part about this sale is that you can get an additional 10% off with code EPIPHORA, so bottles of my faves H2O and Sassy are just about $10!
BEST FOR: kinky toys, electrostim toys, and other bondage gear.
Save up to 75% off in this sale from Stockroom, which runs now through Tuesday, December 1st. The awesome estim Neon Wand is a whopping 35% off at only $97.50, and various electrodes for it are also on sale! Many other BDSM implements are discounted as well.
Stockroom also has 25% off select Fun Factory toys through 12/1! I swear this is the last time I’ll tell you how much you need the Stronic Eins…
BEST FOR: Jimmyjane products specifically.
Jimmyjane is having a sitewide sale, and some of their Form vibrators are only $99. I’m okay with the Form 4.
BEST FOR: porn mongers!
Get 15% off any membership to queer porn empire CrashPadSeries.com (the best deal they’ve ever offered!) with code EPIPHORA through Tuesday, December 1st! Arguably one of the greatest queer porn sites on the internet, Crash Pad documents hotties of all flavors sexing it up in beautifully-shot harmony. It will make you wanna masturbate.
Huurah! I set up a deal with Courtney Trouble to put four of my favorite scenes/movies on sale at Real Queer Porn!
Trans Grrrls ($18): From start to finish, an extraordinarily hot movie starring heartthrobs such as Chelsea Poe and Dylan Ryan.
Jiz Lee and Billy Castro ($5): A classic scene from Billy Castro Does the Mission, featuring wrestling, dry humping, choking, black gloves, intense chemisty, and Jiz Lee raining down ejaculate on Billy’s face.
BEST FOR: budding bloggers needing a kick in the pants to start that blog.
My awesome sex-positive host, HostGator, is offering 65% off all new hosting packages from Friday, November 27th through Monday, November 30th at 11:59pm CST. They’re also offering .com and .net domains for just $5.99. Why should you go with them for hosting? I shall tell you.
From Friday, November 27th to Monday November 30th, there will be select flash sales featuring 80% off all new hosting packages and $2.99 .net and .com domains.
BEST FOR: your non-sex toy purchases, because you love me.