• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

California Exotic Novelties

Cal Exotic is one of the big four sex toy manufacturers, in addition to Doc Johnson, Topco, and Pipedream. In my opinion, they are one of the better ones, although that’s not a huge compliment. They have a luxury-focused division called Jopen.

A to Z
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
BanterToybox ReportsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

All good things must be replaced

July 14, 2009
I knew my Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet would die; it was just a matter of time. It had already outlived...
Keep Reading
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Cal Exotic inches toward integrity

February 21, 2009
I’m a freak. The moment I heard that California Exotic Novelties launched a new website, I flew on over there....
Keep Reading
Giveaways

Contest: Win the toy I rave about

March 29, 2009
TabuToys has taken notice of my ridiculous and unhealthy obsession with my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet, and they presented me...
Keep Reading
BanterToybox Reports

Discontinued? No reviews? I should know better.

October 5, 2009
The Impulse Fantasy Kit was supposed to be the answer to my need for more power than the Xtreme Pack...
Keep Reading
Jopen Key Comet G Wand dildo balanced on top of a heart-shaped bowl, courtesy of Alex.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Comet G Wand

April 15, 2013
Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially...
Keep Reading
BanterBlogger LyfeToybox Reports

Legend for my header

April 12, 2011
Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to...
Keep Reading
California Exotics Turbo Glider
BanterHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibrators

Love letter to the Turbo Glider

May 31, 2010
Dearest Turbo Glider, Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things...
Keep Reading
Pop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Pop Shot: Astrea I vibrating brief

June 26, 2009
The Astrea I vibrating panties are “one size fits most,” which of course means “one size fits size small.” It cuts...
Keep Reading
Pop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves

March 22, 2009
I needed gloves to wear for my product videos. The Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves looked fairly cute. They’re black, lacy,...
Keep Reading
Penis ToysPop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Minerva

May 27, 2009
The grapevine says that the Minerva cock ring by California Exotic is a pretty good cock ring. The grapevine is...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″

June 9, 2009
There are two surprising things about California Exotic’s Aluminum Mini butt plugs. First, uh, they’re made of aluminum, and since...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Bare With Me game

March 28, 2009
Bare With Me is a sex game, so unsurprisingly, the box is beyond ridiculous; it features a jungle scene with...
Keep Reading
Jopen Key Ceres Lace vibrator lying on a hardwood floor.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Ceres Lace

January 7, 2015
I believe the texture on this toy is supposed to be swanky, but my friend says it reminds him of a...
Keep Reading
April Fool's!Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong

April 1, 2010
The 1st thing I noticed about the Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong was his alluring scent. OMG, it reminded me of cherry...
Keep Reading
HELLO MY SWEET. The Comet G Wand lying on a colorful striped platter.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Comet G Wand

February 20, 2013
It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I...
Keep Reading
Jopen Key Comet II Wand (bottom) with Comet G Wand in the snow.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Comet II Wand

April 19, 2014
Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. “It effortlessly strokes the...
Keep Reading
1 2 3

Fresh tweets

Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

Recent comments

Blog sponsors

Your ad here footer

Tescort.com  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Best Sex Dolls  ·  Blue Rabbit  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Nastnova.com  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Idolsdoll.com

  • About
  • Contact
  • Advertise with me
  • Consulting
  • Sex Blogging Course
  • Accessibility & Privacy
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Accessibility & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Banter
  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ
  • Random
  • About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 18,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish. [Privacy policy.]

Or perhaps you’d like to subscribe in a different way?