Me, masturbating: uh, don’t mind me, I’m just over here jamming this ugly-ass hairbrush-lookin’ thing against my vulva in a feeble...
Sex Toy Reviews
The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.
The Je Joue Bullets are not lookers, not at all. There’s a sense of utilitarianism about these vibrators — the...
When I was but a wee sex toy reviewer, every new sex toy material was a treat. Not yet jaded...
You could almost hear the collective groan from the entire sex toy industry when LELO announced the Sona. After an...
I’m not the type to chase adventure. Some people hop on roller coasters, travel to far-off lands, skydive out of...
I proudly identify as a “dildo slinger” — that’s a much way cooler way of saying “sex toy retail worker.”...
When I hear the word “swan,” I think of a few things. Grace. Elegance. The color white. Bjork. Overwrought symbols...
I’m on edge, watching my every move. Like the first day on a new job. Like the feds are after...
My clit is a pretty sensitive creature. You’re going to need to know this going in. Take notes for the...
Blink and you might pass right over them. They’re not terribly attractive, not revolutionary in function, not aggressively marketed. These...
The SenseVibe, much to my dismay, is not a fortune-telling sex toy. It can’t give you the weather forecast or...
When you’re a sex toy reviewer, certain toys can feel like a blessing from above. Mediocre masturbation sessions are par...
I should start with an apology, because when this line of sex toys came out, I mocked it. “Hahahahaha Doc...
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a...
You’re mid-masturbation and you’ve forgotten what it’s like for orgasm to feel achievable. You’re doing everything right, theoretically: the vibrator’s...
Whip out your genitals and prepare to get huge, y’all, because we’re doing something different today. It’s a video review!...
