• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.

    Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

    njoy Pure Wand stainless steel G-spot dildo on a painting of the ocean waves.

    My love, the Pure Wand (+ a few tips!)

    BMS Factory Pillow Talk Sassy rechargeable G-spot vibrator lying on some soft grey fur.

    Review: Sassy

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Je Joue Rabbit Bullet and G-Spot Bullet vibrators on a table next to a large golden fish sculpture.

    Review: Je Joue Bullets (Rabbit + G-Spot)

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

    Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.

    My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Sex Toy Reviews

The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

All
  • Air Flow, Thrusters & Movement
  • Anal Toys
  • BDSM
  • Books
  • Dildos
  • Guest Reviews
  • Harnesses
  • Hi, I love you
  • Kegel Exercisers
  • Lube etc.
  • Penis Toys
  • Pop Shots
  • Porn
  • Positioning etc.
  • Slush pile
  • Storage
  • Vibrators
Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Crystal Delights Star Delight close-up of the beautiful glacier blue aqua Swarovski crystal in the end.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Star Delight

August 6, 2012
Most sex toys, even the ones I end up loving, require multiple...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Drugstore condom company vibrator showdown

July 25, 2012
They’ve figured us out, guys. THEY KNOW. People… actually… use… vibrators. The...
Keep Reading
Tantus Cush O2 on a wooden table.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Cush O2

July 16, 2012
One night, as I was preparing to jack off, I decided I...
Keep Reading
Jimmyjane Little Chroma on top of my blender.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Little Chroma

July 9, 2012
The Jimmyjane Little Chroma is a scam. Not like your “friend” emailing...
Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Penetralia Number 66

June 20, 2012
Aside from a handful of super indie manufacturers and some really sad bigwig...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Duet

June 11, 2012
I can now say that I own a vibrator engraved with my...
Keep Reading
njoy Fun Wand
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Fun Wand

June 4, 2012
Nobody wants to know how the njoy Fun Wand is. Everyone just wants...
Keep Reading
Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rock Box

May 21, 2012
Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the...
Keep Reading
BMS Factory Leaf Life rechargeable vibrator
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Life

May 10, 2012
The Leaf Life looks like something you’d pick up along a nature trail. Colored...
Keep Reading
Bedroom Kandi Hold On To Me kegel balls
Kegel ExercisersSex Toy Reviews

Review: Hold On To Me

April 26, 2012
I’ll admit I scoffed at Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ new line...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Intensity

April 11, 2012
The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex...
Keep Reading
Positioning etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Décor Wedge

March 29, 2012
It’s hard to describe Liberator shapes to people. The word “shape” doesn’t...
Keep Reading
Good Vibes Rippler dildo on concrete.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rippler

March 17, 2012
The Pleasure Works Rippler is like what the Tantus Echo wants to...
Keep Reading
Adventures in SquirtingHi, I love youPositioning etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Décor Fascinator Throw

March 13, 2012
The Liberator Décor Fascinator Throw is my third Liberator Throw. That tells...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

March 8, 2012
Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact....
Keep Reading
Love Style Glass Lotus glass dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Lotus

February 29, 2012
A glass dildo shaped like an actual cock sounded pretty nice. I’m...
Keep Reading
1 … 7 8 9 10 11 … 24

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

We-Vibe Rave rechargeable app-compatible G-spot vibrator on a reflective table.

Review: Rave

Screenshot of HealthyStrokes.com and its highly questionable sex ed advice.

Thanks for the mansplanation, but I greatly prefer my vibrator

Review: OhMiBod

The Jimmyjane Rumble Seat, a white plastic toilet-looking chair with a grey vibrating bump on top, standing in front of my sex toy closet.

Review: Rumble Seat

Blog sponsors

Your ad here footer

Tescort.com  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Best Sex Dolls  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Idolsdoll.com  ·  sexy toy factory  ·  Wholesale Silicone Sex Toys & Custom Sex Dolls

Hey Epiphora logo
  • About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Accessibility & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts 📝
    • Reviews
    • Guides
    • Banter
  • New here? 🗺️
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • All-time fave toys ✨
  • Toybox 🍆
  • Sales + fave retailers 💸
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ 🔎
  • About 🌈
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact 💌
    • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Random 🌀
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 18,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish.

Score!

You're all signed up to receive updates on my vaginal hijinks. Thanks, friend!

Dildos in your inbox.