• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.

    Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

    njoy Pure Wand stainless steel G-spot dildo on a painting of the ocean waves.

    My love, the Pure Wand (+ a few tips!)

    BMS Factory Pillow Talk Sassy rechargeable G-spot vibrator lying on some soft grey fur.

    Review: Sassy

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Je Joue Rabbit Bullet and G-Spot Bullet vibrators on a table next to a large golden fish sculpture.

    Review: Je Joue Bullets (Rabbit + G-Spot)

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

    Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.

    My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Sex Toy Reviews

The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

All
  • Air Flow, Thrusters & Movement
  • Anal Toys
  • BDSM
  • Books
  • Dildos
  • Guest Reviews
  • Harnesses
  • Hi, I love you
  • Kegel Exercisers
  • Lube etc.
  • Penis Toys
  • Pop Shots
  • Porn
  • Positioning etc.
  • Slush pile
  • Storage
  • Vibrators
Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Ophoria Beyond 3 dildo on a wooden floor.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Beyond 3

April 2, 2010
I have tried many dildos that hit my G-spot with varying degrees...
Keep Reading
Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong
April Fool's!Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong

April 1, 2010
The 1st thing I noticed about the Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong was his...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pfun

March 27, 2010
As my first stainless steel butt plug, it’s kinda funny that the...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio

March 24, 2010
I’m not big on blowjobs in porn. I don’t hate them, but...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Flexi Felix silicone anal beads
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Flexi Felix

March 21, 2010
I’ve been reviewing sex toys for over two years now, so it’s...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Astrovibe

March 17, 2010
I knew I had to have the Astrovibe the moment I saw...
Keep Reading
Jollies / LuzArte Jollet polka dot silicone dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Jollet

March 14, 2010
The Jollies / LuzArte Jollet: it looks so simple, but there is virtually...
Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Succu Dry Fleshlight

March 12, 2010
Ever since the line of Sex in a Can Fleshlights came out,...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Billy Castro Does the Mission, queer porn directed by Courtney Trouble
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Billy Castro Does the Mission

March 8, 2010
So Billy Castro, hottie extraordinaire of Bordello and Speakeasy, now has his...
Keep Reading
The Big Book of Sex Toys
BooksSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Big Book of Sex Toys

March 5, 2010
Reading The Big Book of Sex Toys, I learned that it’s hard...
Keep Reading
Me holding the mighty Eroscillator, with the pillowy marshmallow attachment.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGuest ReviewsVibrators

Guest Review: Eroscillator

March 4, 2010
I’m not surprised that my insanely extensive and enthusiastic review of the...
Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System

March 3, 2010
The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Form 2

February 26, 2010
It’s the tweezers! The tooth! The chopsticks! Or… the rabbit ears, if...
Keep Reading
BanterSex Toy ReviewsStorageToybox Reports

Review: Illuminating Boudoir Toybox

February 19, 2010
Do you need sex toy storage that could probably withstand a hurricane...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Delve

February 16, 2010
Well, folks, the time has come — I’ve found a NobEssence toy...
Keep Reading
Toyfriend Mystic Tickler vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ticklers

February 11, 2010
The Toyfriend Ticklers will fool you, with their neon colors and cute-ass...
Keep Reading
1 … 12 13 14 15 16 … 24

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

BlissMe vibrators: Mr. Cowboy, Mr. U.K., Mr. Right, Mr. Badboy, and Mr. C.E.O

Um, No: BlissMe vibrators with… personalities

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.

Review: Joque harness

Holding the key to dildo mansion.

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

iVibe Massager phone app

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

Vintage vibrators: the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator (top), Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager.

Review: Vintage vibrators

Blog sponsors

Your ad here footer

Tescort.com  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Best Sex Dolls  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Idolsdoll.com  ·  sexy toy factory  ·  Wholesale Silicone Sex Toys & Custom Sex Dolls

Hey Epiphora logo
  • About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Accessibility & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts 📝
    • Reviews
    • Guides
    • Banter
  • New here? 🗺️
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • All-time fave toys ✨
  • Toybox 🍆
  • Sales + fave retailers 💸
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ 🔎
  • About 🌈
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact 💌
    • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Random 🌀
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 18,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish.

Score!

You're all signed up to receive updates on my vaginal hijinks. Thanks, friend!

Dildos in your inbox.